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To give my counsellor a little gift at our final session?

(52 Posts)
NoMoreChocolateBoooooo Thu 21-May-15 15:29:34

Hi. Nc for this as I don't want it linked with my usual NN. I am receiving counselling and only have a few weeks left until the sessions stop. My counsellor is brilliant, she has really helped me over the past 4 weeks and I enjoy our sessions. She said I have made progress and without her I would be in even more of an awful place, mentally.

WIBU to buy her a little thank you gift as a token of my appreciation? I would like to get her something small for helping me, but don't know if she would be allowed to accept it or not? Sorry I know this sound stupid but I was just wondering if it's an ok thing to do. Thanks for any replies.

JammyGem Thu 21-May-15 15:31:24

I did the same for my therapist on our final session - she seemed really touched and I didn't get the impression that it wasn't allowed.

I say go for it smile

gingerbreadmam Thu 21-May-15 15:33:51

i got s box of chocs and written a heartfelt essay in a card for mine grin i imagine it is a lovely reward for doing such an awful job. the amount of times my counsellor sat and watched me cry, honestly i dont know how they do it!

Focusfocus Thu 21-May-15 15:34:52

A nice little card would be appropriate.

HelpMeTummyPain Thu 21-May-15 15:45:02

I took a bunch of bright tropical flowers for my counsellor at the last session.

Alanna1 Thu 21-May-15 15:47:49

I'm not a therapist, I'm a lawyer, but I do quite a lot of pro bono work. I'm not allowed to accept financial remuneration for my pro bono work, but commonly pro bono clients give me small presents. I accept them, usually, as long as I think they are small presents and not likely to be seen as financial remuneration! - not least because it could cause offence not to. But things like bunches of flowers, boxes of chocolates, etc, or when its for campaigning groups I often get some of their merchandise so I have a small collection of pin badges, tshirts, etc. And I keep the cards. I think its a really nice gesture.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Thu 21-May-15 15:50:27

Normally fine if nominal value - flowers, plant, chocolates etc. smile

TwoNoisyBoys Thu 21-May-15 15:52:54

I'm currently training to be a counsellor, and this subject came up at my training session last week! My tutor said that although he always likes receiving hand written cards, he refuses gifts of any description as he feels it crosses the boundaries of professionalism.

(To be honest, though, if I'd received counselling and wanted to thank the counsellor, I probably would take along either chocolates or some flowers!)

NoMoreChocolateBoooooo Thu 21-May-15 15:52:58

Thank you everyone smile I shall get her the gift. I was thinking along the lines of a nice candle, a card and a box of chocs. Does that sound ok?

NoMoreChocolateBoooooo Thu 21-May-15 15:54:03

Oh dear Two, that's what I was afraid of.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Thu 21-May-15 16:02:11

That seems quite a subjective assessment two. I know two counsellors who would take nominal gifts (and also lawyers, midwives, nurses and doctors who would do similar ).

AmyElliotDunne Thu 21-May-15 16:15:11

Sounds like a lovely idea. Someone who has helped you deserves a little token of your thanks as well as being paid, just as we do for teachers/nurses etc.

I bought a pot plant for the lady who did my laser hair removal as it had such a profound effect on my confidence and she was leaving to start her own business doing it so it was a kind of thank you/good luck thing.

I was a bit embarrassed giving it to her, and she was certainly surprised, but seemed genuinely touched. Do it!

MiddleAgedandConfused Thu 21-May-15 17:53:52

I would be surprised if it is accepted.
But what's the worst that can happen? - you get to keep the flowers and choccies for yourself as a reward for your hard work and progress.

yorkshapudding Thu 21-May-15 17:59:07

I work in mental health, not as a counsellor but similar role. I had accepted flowers, chocolates and once a teddy bear from clients in the past. I have had to decline gifts that were expensive (jewellery, vouchers etc) as this could be misinterpreted by others as me financially abusing the client, persuading a vulnerable person to buy me expensive gifts etc. A card and a small, inexpensive gift should be fine.

Mrsstarlord Thu 21-May-15 18:00:38

Another one who thinks that the advice given by the counselling tutor is very rigid / theoretical.

If you want to give something, a small token is fine. If the person works as part of a team perhaps buy something they could share?

TwoNoisyBoys Thu 21-May-15 18:03:53

Yes, as I said, that's what my tutor said, however, personally, I'd probably still go ahead anyway!

Plenty of other health professionals on here have said that they'd be glad to receive a token gift, so I think if that's what you want to do, then you should do it.

VolumniaDedlock Thu 21-May-15 18:09:28

in most roles in this field it's ok to receive an inexpensive token gift - agree that something to share with colleagues is nice to receive. The best bit is a card with a personal message. I keep these, and it's nice to look through them when I'm feeling demotivated (Plus you can put them in your appraisal portfolio).

I've only once been offered a present that I felt was too much (vintage champagne). the same person later gave me some ferrero rocher and a lovely card instead.

Tutt Thu 21-May-15 18:11:15

I'm a counsellor and I love recieving hand-made cards BUT any flowers/chocolates etc gets shared between the 'office' and left there and when I'm doing my own work I prefer to not except gifts, sorry OP.
I love that she is fab smile

drudgetrudy Thu 21-May-15 18:39:40

I worked in mental health and would accept a card, a plant for the office, small bunch of flowers or small box of chocs-but definitely nothing of financial value. It was nice to receive a small gift or card occasionally.

Focusfocus Thu 21-May-15 19:07:02

Is it going to make you feel weird or awkward or sad if the gift is refused?

I personally would just do a card with a nice message.

morage Thu 21-May-15 19:27:43

I used to house share with a counsellor. Small gifts such as chocolates and a card were very appreciated.

ovumahead Thu 21-May-15 19:32:44

I'm an NHS psychologist. Any gifts over approx £20 ish we are advised to refuse. We would never accept any cash. We have to claim all gifts given, however small. But all the therapists I've ever worked with will be very appreciative of a thoughtfully written card. Anything more than that is up to you (chocs for example) but really not expected. Your counsellor sounds lovely I'm glad you've had a good experience!

ovumahead Thu 21-May-15 19:33:40

By claim I mean record. Sorry if that made no sense!

OwlsAreGrumpyBastards Thu 21-May-15 19:39:33

I'm a clinical psychologist, and the thing I remember and appreciate and keep the longest is cards, because they're more personal than chocolates etc, and I really appreciate the thought that has gone into writing them. I once had a patient who could hardly write at all, and when we finished treatment, he got a friend to help him write a thank you card - it took him an hour to write it, apparently. I will never forget his thoughtfulness in doing that whereas chocolates etc are quickly eaten and forgotten. (Oops!)

FishWithABicycle Thu 21-May-15 19:40:31

when I has my last session with a counsellor who helped me turn my life around, I gave her a pot that I had made in the ceramics class that I had taken up with her encouragement. she was really happy and said she'd never normally keeps gifts from clients - chocolates get shared, plants get kept in the office, pretty much anything else gets politely refused but as the pot was handmade she was allowed to keep it for herself.

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