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To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

(265 Posts)
OliviaJ Wed 20-May-15 17:34:40

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OliviaJ Wed 20-May-15 17:36:05

Please excuse the typos, I promise I'm not illiterate, I simply can't get used to the key pad on my new phone.

Heels99 Wed 20-May-15 17:36:14

She should have told you that they were giving the form to everyone. Apart from that, I can't see the issue.

Aeroflotgirl Wed 20-May-15 17:37:15

Yabvu I have had the same form, which I completed. You don't have to fill it in.

gasbird Wed 20-May-15 17:37:34

We got the same form with the same preamble about making sure children reach their potential whatever their circumstances.

I guess it's a national thing asking all parents to complete. Our son only attends nursery for the 15 hours education entitlement.

OddBoots Wed 20-May-15 17:37:50

Every child would have been given one of those, staff wouldn't be presuming anything about your family either way regardless of your eligibility or not. You don't have to fill it out but it would be worse to select particular people to give it to.

You may be going to a different school next year but this started in April this year and forms have only just been released so settings can claim it for this term.

BillyBigchin Wed 20-May-15 17:37:56

Oh give your head a wobble woman.

For a start, ALL children in infants now get FSM so you are wrong there. I don't claim any of those benefits either, but really? Getting in a huff about it? It's not just about you and your kids you know.

If you object, just don't fill in the salary stuff and say you don't claim those benefits.

madwomanbackintheattic Wed 20-May-15 17:38:20

No, but yabu to be in a huff because it was 'insinuated' that you might be on benefits.

Is that so terribly beneath you that you are more concerned about the insinuation than the nursery ensuring that they receive eligible funding for any children that meet the criteria?

OliviaJ Wed 20-May-15 17:38:26

But that's the point the nursery have not given this form to everyone. I was there on time or pick up and they were only handing these forms out to a select few.

OliviaJ Wed 20-May-15 17:40:20

No it's not beneath me but still I dislike the way I was made to feel. And as for all infant children habing FSM my son won't be as he's going to have a healthier packed lunch.

OddBoots Wed 20-May-15 17:41:14

The others may have been given it at a different time or be doing them a few at a time because pick up is hectic.

This is the government site that has the letter and form you will have got it is a standard format.

madwomanbackintheattic Wed 20-May-15 17:41:57

Probably the ones that missed it before.
Honestly, your knickers are in a twist because you are being a snob, not because of anything else.

How very dare they assume you might be on benefits.
And how very dare they assume that your child might be <shudder> behind academically?

I would take him out now, really. The horrific discrimination exhibited towards your family by this supposedly caring institution is unacceptable.

You might catch poor or something.

Icimoi Wed 20-May-15 17:42:27

But what is so offensive about anyone thinking you might be claiming benefits?

If you want to blame anyone, blame the government for organising funding in this way. All credit to the school and nursery for wanting to do their best by their pupils.

Heels99 Wed 20-May-15 17:42:40

Nursery may have already given out forms and had them back from some people hence not giving them to everyone when you happened to be there or their children may not be the age to be eligible.

Do tell what will be in this healthier packed lunch...

DextersMistress Wed 20-May-15 17:42:58

You sound like a massive snob.

BillyBigchin Wed 20-May-15 17:43:31

Don't worry, OP, your higher standards for you and your family shine through! Not at all like a huge snob!


OliviaJ Wed 20-May-15 17:43:55

Yes that's the form. But what I'd like to know is why ask for our national insurance number first, why not just ask if we claim the relevant benefits then that way I wouldn't have to put down any other personal details.

redskybynight Wed 20-May-15 17:44:15

It's a huge problem for schools to now collect the extra funding they are due as infants classes all get free school meals, so they can't use FSM as the indicator.

I would imagine the nursery do not pay attention to your financial situation, if they weren't giving the forms out to everyone it may well be because those people had already received one.

AnyRailway Wed 20-May-15 17:45:12

Where is the shame in being on benefits?

For goodness sake!

Also the more people fill these forms in, the more money the school has to spend on its pupils. Schools are grateful for every penny they can get in these hard times.

I filled in the free school meals form, even though ds1 has multiple foods allergies and can't eat them. He is entitled to the meals, so the school should have the money. They can spend it someone else that needs it (and there is plenty of need!)

Theycallmemellowjello Wed 20-May-15 17:45:44

To be fair, if the nursery actually was just giving the form to certain parents then that is pretty bad. Not because it's bad to be on benefits, but because nursery shouldn't be profiling people in that way. But I'd confirm this before taking offence.

Twiceover Wed 20-May-15 17:46:09

Do they not give the forms to everyone? Our school do and ask you to fill it out if applicable - presumably to avoid people taking offence at being singled outsmile .

The letter says children in receipt of benefits tend to be behind not that they all are. Surely it's good for the school to claim this money to help with children's education?

I honestly can't see why you're annoyed?

Pancakeflipper Wed 20-May-15 17:46:52

I would urge anyone who is eligible to complete the forms for the school, you child will benefit greatly from the funding called Pupil Premium. As will your finances as the school are likely to subsidence trips etc and have your child access clubs run by school, even holiday clubs.

There's no stigma, no one is looking down on anyone, crap stereotyping as benefit scroungers etc. The children really can benefit from this so stick pride aside and get something for your family.

Since the intro of FSM for infants less families entitled to PUpil Premium have claimed thinking it's only about school meals - it's not.

OurGlass Wed 20-May-15 17:47:39

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheForger Wed 20-May-15 17:48:01

The forms are a standard format, at our school we hand them out and ask for them to be filled in. The school then sends them away to a central department at the LA who then assess them. I assume they need your NI number to check that you exist and that you are in receipt of the relevant benefits. It isn't because they don't believe you but that they want to ensure that an organisation doesn't make up some forms and get funding that they aren't entitled to. The LA cannot just take your word for it.

SuburbanRhonda Wed 20-May-15 17:50:12

why not just ask if we claim the relevant benefits then that way I wouldn't have to put down any other personal details

OP, why do you think they might have chosen not to take time out of their busy day looking after your child in order to have a personal conversation with every parent, in which they ask about your personal financial situation (a subject which you are very touchy about)? When the alternative is to hand a letter to every parent and let them decide whether to complete it or not?

Have a think about that before you fight a non-existent battle.

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