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AIBU?

To think there’s nothing wrong with buying baby stuff second-hand?

111 replies

Sansarya · 19/05/2015 09:45

A woman in my office is pregnant and we were having a chat about baby clothes and toys etc. I said that she could get some good bargains on eBay or at NCT Nearly New Sales, as small babies grow out of stuff so quickly.

Another woman in the office overheard our conversation and piped up to express her disgust at this. She made a face and said she’d never buy second-hand stuff for her baby (hypothetical at this point) and that she had plenty of friends and family to give presents to her baby. She is from a fairly well off family so I’m not sure she’s ever really had to worry about the cost of things and I don’t think it was nice of her to sneer.

Unless of course I’m missing something and there’s something hugely wrong with buying baby clothes from ebay or at an NNS? I got DS quite a few things from there when he was younger. Obviously it’s different when they’re older and more mobile as the clothes have more wear and tear etc, but the stuff I bought him was as good as new!

OP posts:
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JoanHickson · 19/05/2015 09:48

Some are happy to buy new, some second hand. Do what suits you.

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flora717 · 19/05/2015 09:48

She's an idiot. Does she throw away clothes after one wear?

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stargirl1701 · 19/05/2015 09:50

We bought nearly everything second hand. Her attitude stinks but is the reason landfill is full in the UK!

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TruJay · 19/05/2015 09:52

Absolutely nothing wrong with second hand but I think for first babies it's the excitement of going round the shops and choosing out lovely new things for your brand new baby. I bought lots new for my first DS but also got a huge bag of second hand stuff and used a lot.
I know someone who is very judgmental of people wanting new and says "oh you don't need that. They'll outgrow it in seconds" etc
I hate it when she tries to take the excitement away from someone having their first.
When it comes to subsequent babies I'm sure most parents keep stuff from their first and use that anyway.

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AuntyMag10 · 19/05/2015 09:53

Nothing wrong with it but everyone feels differently about this. I wouldn't use second hand but wouldn't judge someone else who does. I wouldn't give someone a second hand gift though.

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Allstoppedup · 19/05/2015 09:54

Pffft, my DS was a surprise baby as we'd been told fertility issues would make it near impossible to conceive!

We got pretty much everything second hand apart from a few bits like a cot mattress/sling etc. We got second hand clothing bundles, cot, Moses basket, pretty mWinkuch everything! I'm due my second now and he/she will have hand me downs from the first... Second-second hand Shock

I think the lady was rude, babies don't need the latest gadgets/brand new stuff. They just need love, warmth, food and shelter.

NCT sales are amazing, some of the stuff looked unused! Of course it's nice to get some new stuff but recycling/reusing is better for the environment (and ultimately your babies future).

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pictish · 19/05/2015 09:57

She just sounds like one of those stupid yet arrogant people you seem to come across from time to time.
Annoying but all you can do is ignore her.

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Sansarya · 19/05/2015 09:58

I agree that if she wants to buy everything new then that's her prerogative but there's no need to sneer and make faces at someone who doesn't.

She's said in the past that she's got friends who bought clothes from charity shops and ended up having to throw them away because no amount of washing or dry-cleaning could get rid of the smell, but baby clothes are a different story!

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felkov · 19/05/2015 10:20

My DM volunteers in a charity shop and regularly buys baby clothes from there for my DC. Quite a lot of the small sizes (newborn/0-3/3-6month) are still with tags on as people can't use as babies grow so fast!

So its good for everyone. I end up with lovely new baby clothes, my DM is happy as she's donated to charity and the charity shop gets their money and room for new stock Smile

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Moomintroll85 · 19/05/2015 11:09

I buy a lot of second hand stuff for my DS - you often get great bargains in excellent condition and do your bit to avoid waste. Fair enough if other people prefer to buy only new that's their choice.

The problem that I see here is her rude response- if she's so keen to belittle and sneer at other people that to me makes her sound quite self righteous and nasty.

Would she buy brand new everything for each child if she ended up having more than one baby? Confused

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Alisvolatpropiis · 19/05/2015 12:15

She's rude and thoughtless

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mindexplode · 19/05/2015 12:18

I think its rude

My BIL and SIL are expecting their first soon, my PIL offered some of the stuff they bought for my DC but apparently they turned up their nose at second hand stuff for their baby (but it's ok for mine??). I just laughed with my lovely MIL and said they will learn.

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DrDre · 19/05/2015 12:21

I find it funny when people get precious about clothes for small children. They grow out of them quickly, and they will get a lot of body fluids on them. Cheap and cheerful is the order of the day, or at least it was for our kids. They were almost entirely clothed from second hand clothes.

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Sothisishowitfeels · 19/05/2015 12:23

I love a rummage around charity shops, I tend to buy bigger items like cots and prams new but it not that I WONT buy them second hand its just that I like to have the exact one I want. I saw a bugaboo in the charity shop last week for £85 includng the carrycot etc. I very very nearly bought it but I am only 16 weeks pregnant and I just didnt feel ready!

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xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 19/05/2015 12:23

Up to her. Nothing wrong with second hand. If she doesn't want second hand no need to be so sneery about others getting second hand.

I buy a mixture for my toddler. Jumble sale £1 bags of clothes are amazing. Even the stuff that's clean but worn is perfect for the park / painting / baking no way are they wearing a brand new outfit that cost £££££ to roll in a puddle.

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xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 19/05/2015 12:25

And second hand prams must be in really good nick as mine was only in her pram for 6 months.

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Happening · 19/05/2015 12:29

Nothing at all wrong vwith 2nd hand. DCs rarely had new bought by us. Waste of money when so much decent stuff available at nct sales etc. We even used 2nd hand nappies. Cant see how previously worn (& washed) clothes would cause any harm??

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imwithspud · 19/05/2015 12:30

It's totally up to the individual whether they want to buy new or second hand or not. There's no need to sneer or judge people based on their decision though, very rude. No harm will come to a baby as a result of wearing a second hand sleep suit fgs. We got a mixture of new and second hand with DC1, DC2 will be reusing a lot of DC1's stuff (mainly clothes) but also has some new things. Best of both worlds for us.

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Osmiornica · 19/05/2015 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

momtothree · 19/05/2015 12:38

A work friend turned her nose up and 2nd hand and only brought new. Her friend then had a baby and offered her DS clothes. She was put out that friend had said no as she only wanted new. (I reminder her she`s said the same) so yes opinions change.

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LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 19/05/2015 12:40

My DD is 4,5 months old right now. Things I bought new for her (so far): two vests with writings "I love mummy and daddy/my big brother", fluffy pink hat with ears(just because it was adorable), GAP denim jacket, three babygrows, 2 bonnets, 2 cotton hats with ties under chin and 3 pairs of socks.
That's it. Everything else was given to me by friends and relatives.
The biggest amount of money I spent on baby was for travel system and car seat - £215 in total.
I don't understand why would babies need everything new? It's not like they care. They will grow out of their little outfits in a month or two. So no, YANBU.

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JoanHickson · 19/05/2015 12:41

Some people want new as they want specific items and some people have issue with someone else's body fluids.

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CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 19/05/2015 13:01

ALL my children's clothes and most of her things such as bouncer, cot, moses basket were ALL second hand. I couldn't have what I have for her without kindess of others and bargains.

People can do what they want, but being snooty about it when you are having the conversation with someone else is just out of order.

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CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 19/05/2015 13:08

(before anyone scolds me, the mattresses were not second hand) :)

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Stinkersmum · 19/05/2015 13:16

There's certain I won't buy 2nd hand - mattress, car seat, bottles etc. I wouldn't get 2nd hand clothes from anybody I didn't know, but hand downs through family etc are more than acceptable. I saw someone selling a breast pump second hand they other day. Only used twice. BOAK.

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