I really can't work out whether IABU because I am feeling baseline resentment about my neighbor (we have had problems in the past which I have posted about) or whether this is fair.
We live in a rented flat, part of a conversion which is two flats- we are upstairs, our neighbor is downstairs. SHe doesn't like us, complains constantly at us about all kinds of things- hates our kids etc etc. We are both renting with the same landlord.
there is large front garden, jointly used by both flats, which my kids used to play in- it was previously kind of a mess- not terrible, but a bit overgrown and the kids enjoyed playing in it. The neighbor enjoys gardening and has recently dug up the whole thing and planted a lot of plants and made it into a more well kept, fancy garden. She didn't tell me she was going to do this, or ask me what I thought or anything. What she has done looks nice, and I have been appreciative of her hard work- told her that she has done a really good job etc. But now she is saying that our DC can no longer play there because of all the work she has done to it, and that they might ruin the plants. Yesterday she shouted at 19 month old DS for running in there. AIBU to think that she doesn't have the right to do this? I monitor them carefully and make sure they don't damage anything, but tbh i would rather it was still overgrown and they didn't have to worry about spoiling things there and think that this is our shared space and we have just as much right to it as she does (this last bit is technically true according to the lease- just wondering if it is also generally 'right' in 'not being a total dick' terms.) I don't mind that she fixed it, and it does look nice, but I feel as though that doesn't somehow give her ownership of it, and the right to tell my DCs off. Or am I being unfair on her after all her hard work to expect her to put up with my DCs still runniing around and should take them to play elsehwere? Would appreciate opinions! thank you!
AIBU?
AIBU or is my neighbor
deliverdaniel · 15/05/2015 20:08
oops sorry I missed the really obvious bit where you said that she hates you and your kids.....I'll get me coat 
(and yes she's being bloody unreasonable!)
She was silly to invest so much in the garden, when it isn't hers, and it isn't just-hers even for the duration of her lease! It belongs to both of you!
As annoyed as I get about people who insist that rented houses never belong to tenants, and that LLs ought to retain far more of a veto than is actually allowed in law 
, in this case, I'd firmly remind her that it isn't her garden; it is a shared garden. She is trying it on by being precious about it to you (those plants are physically squeezing you out, and her attitude is aimed at intimidating you out), and your LL ought to enforce your use and "quiet enjoyment" of the garden, too!
Speak to her, and to your LL.
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