To think childproof bottles are there just to make life fucking difficult

(48 Posts)
EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:01:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WannabeLaraCroft Thu 14-May-15 22:28:53

Oh I agree!

Sometimes it's not even the holding and twisting part that's the hardest, but the seal underneath just won't fucking budge!

I've been dosing my child with calpol and nurofen past few days so I feel your pain!

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:32:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FernieB Thu 14-May-15 22:33:40

Try giving it to a small child to open - they can usually get into everything they're not supposed to wink

butterflyballs Thu 14-May-15 22:35:22

Have you asked the child to do it? Because generally they are the only ones who can open them in this house.

Push and turn. It's not meant to be complicated but I hate those bottles!!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-May-15 22:36:34

Yes, they're Lying-proof as well. I can't break into them, I can't even do it with a knife. I break my nails on them. sad

The children though... two seconds and they're in. It's so annoying... and worrying. I put them out of reach and that's working ok as I'm taller than them - at the moment. I won't be taller forever...

Sincere kudos to you, Derek for getting your child to ingest a bashed-to-smithereens tablet through a straw... shockthanksenvy

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:36:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Thu 14-May-15 22:37:35

God, YANBU at all.

I remember years ago, I actually burst into tears because I couldn't get a bottle of Calpol open after literally half an hour of trying.

I think sometimes it's more about technique than brute strength.

In the end I sat on the couch, stood the bottle on the floor between my feet, leant all my weight on the top of the lid and twisted it.

It finally worked but then I was too scared to put the bloody lid back on!

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:37:37

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Goalie Thu 14-May-15 22:40:31

Get a set of nut crackers. Invert bottle on hard surface. Secure nut crackers around lid. Push down on bottle and turn.

If the fucker still won't open, grab a hammer....

WorraLiberty Thu 14-May-15 22:44:45

You could try a controlled explosion I suppose

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:51:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-May-15 22:53:39

Ohh... liquid, yes that makes sense, much easier. blush

I sometimes lie in wait for the postman. He will knock sometimes to give me a parcel and I'll swap his parcels for a pill bottle. If I give him a muffin he'll knock without parcels just on the off-chance.

I don't get it, I lift heavy, my handbag is routinely several kgs.. I can't open a pill bottle. I wonder if there's some kind of course for the digitally inept?

WorraLiberty Thu 14-May-15 22:56:01

Lying So just to clarify...

You lie in wait for your postman and then give him a bottle pills so he eats your muffin? shock

I'm truly shocked...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-May-15 22:56:13

And now I'm wondering why I put the lid back on at all? I'm the only person in our house who can't open it. <baffled at own stupidity and inability to grapple with commonsense and win, even occasionally>

ConnortheMonkey Thu 14-May-15 22:57:46

Have you run it under a hot tap? Sometimes it's not the childproof but that the medicine has crusted up, I find a hot tap or kettle over a lid opens most lid fuckers

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-May-15 22:58:23

It's true, Worra. I bribe him. Our muffin bill is much bigger than it should be. If I made the muffins, he'd lob the parcels through the unopened window or leave them on the step. blush

<is not a good muffin cook/baker/whatever they are?>

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 22:58:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-May-15 22:59:11

You are referring to bakery products aren't you, Worra? shock

<narrows eyes>

Jacana Thu 14-May-15 23:03:05

I've got slightly crampy, slightly arthritic fingers, I am 50, I ain't got no child nor am I ever likely to have one. Why do I have to have bloody child-proof impossible to open bloody bottles and stuff? Plastic-y containers are easy tho. I take a mini hacksaw to them.grin

fattymcfatfat Thu 14-May-15 23:03:06

grin I had a feeling this would be Derek
yep I agree. they are bastards!

lying shock

WorraLiberty Thu 14-May-15 23:11:15

Oh...yes I'm errr...referring to your baked goods grin

Perv

CindyEcstacy Thu 14-May-15 23:13:04

Yep I always have to get my kids to open them

EatShitDerek Thu 14-May-15 23:22:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazykat Thu 14-May-15 23:25:29

if you bash the lid on a hard surface and break the outer white bit then you can take it off and are left with the inner bit which is like a normal screw cap, I found this out after the calpol fell out of the cupboard and the white part of the lid smashed. It won't be child proof anymore but at least it's easy to get into, just lock it away so kids can't get it.

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