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To find this a bit upsetting/offensive (Re- freecycling/charity)

(24 Posts)
InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 13:33:06

Hi,I've NC for this.
I'm pregnant with my first and in quite a bit of financial trouble at the minute, no job, very little income, no place to rent or anything (but thankfully my best friend of 13yrs has a spare room which is indefinitely mine so I'm not on the streets) I won't go into too much detail but I will cope just its hard but I can make ends meet. this has lead me to join a few freecycle/charity groups that are local (both online and running from community centres etc) i'm fortunate to live within a very tight knit community. Yesterday a woman in one of these groups offered me a baby bath seat, a baby seat (Not sure what they're properly called but they are metal with a fabric and straps that the baby sits in) and a load of baby/maternity clothes, My best friend and I went to collect these items and the baby bath seat was totally unusable (only one of the four suction cups was still attached, which I think could be dangerous if it came unstuck with bubs in it) the baby seat was absolutely filthy, covered in food stains, cat hair, dirt and dust. the cover is removable so can be washed (and I have since washed it) some of the clothes are ripped, very very badly stained and a few are just dirty (very obviously no attempt has been made to wash them). ive got about half of the stuff through the wash already and looking at what I have I can make use of about half of the items once its had a good clean, I'm not sure if its my situation or the hormones but I'm quite upset that someone would think this is decent condition to hand stuff over in? don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for the help i have received through these groups (even if no one can give "stuff" there is always sympathy and a shoulder to cry on and i try to do the same for others) I just feel its quite... mean? to do this to someone, AIBU? A wash wouldn't have been hard, surely? I always wash everything before I give it away or to charity. i didn't expect sparkling clean brand new, useable and in semi decent condition was my expectation

SkodaLabia Thu 14-May-15 13:35:43

Sometimes it's easier for people to Freecycle something than take it to the dump.

I'd say, yes, you're being a bit hormonal. I'm saying that in a nice way.

Wash what you can and bin the rest, focus on what you did actually get.

I've Freecycled loads of stuff, always in really good condition, but I've received some shockers! grin

SkodaLabia Thu 14-May-15 13:36:32

Sorry about your circumstances, by the way. flowers

FirstWeTakeManhattan Thu 14-May-15 13:36:54

Poor you OP. Nothing should be handed over in that condition.

Where do you live? I've got very nice baby stuff you can have for nowt if you're local. We're in Sheffield.

InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 13:37:47

No problem if I'm being hormonal, I burst into tears watching big bang theory last night, I'm definitely not above being ridiculous with these hormones! grin

InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 13:38:40

First- Unfortunately I'm in south wales but thank you very much for the kind offer flowers

formerbabe Thu 14-May-15 13:42:59 don't need as much stuff for a new baby as you would think.

I bought a baby bath seat and a fancy stand alone baby bath but rarely used it...I usually washed them in the sink!

But I agree with you..,I never gave away stained or dirty items.

emms1981 Thu 14-May-15 13:44:56

I bought a bag of baby clothes once, the person I bought off was always saying how she dresses her children in next etc so I was expecting some quality stuff. I paid £20 more fool me to open it up and find a bundle of stained very worn vests and a few tops. Most was minging and went in the bin.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill Thu 14-May-15 13:45:26

I don't think you are being unreasonable. They certainly shouldn't be trying to give away stuff that can't be used, and it's a bit grim if clothes haven't been washed. The car seat I guess it would be nice if it was cleaner but they are a faff to clean and fairly expensive to buy so you are still doing OK out of it even if you do have to spend a bit of time sorting it out. It does sound like they don't have very (or any) standards of cleanliness so might not see this stuff as an issue.

InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 13:49:15

I wouldn't go out and buy a baby bath or bath seat to be honest, Its in the very common list of "Baby stuff I never used" lol, I think its a waste of money if you already have a bath or sink, My nephew was bathed in a cupcake box as a newborn! Lol. It was just included in the offer so i thought it may come in handy but obviously i got it and it was completely unusable!

InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 13:53:19

whatsthat its not a car seat its a baby seat thingy(Closest thing I can find online is pictured) the covers are removable and very easy to wash, if it was something a bit difficult to wash i think i'd be alot more understanding of her not wanting to put the effort in!
emms- thats awful! I've heard of similar things happening all the time, seems to be very common!

TheMagnificientFour Thu 14-May-15 14:00:22

Ok the one thing you need to remember is that, when you use some equipement such as the one you have been given, you tend to stop seen the dirt etc... If on the top of it, it has sat in the loft/garage for months and months, it will be looking in poor condition.
I know that there are stuff I thought were in good enough condition, have stored them and then when several months years later, I wanted to give them away, I found them in really poor condition iyswim. Reality is, I was just looking at them differently.

Also remember that some stains will never go away so cliothes can be 'clean' but looking dirty!

Having said that, a quick clean of the items, putting the clothes in the wash etc... is a minimum.
And you can still sort out the unsafe stuff (the baby bath seat), the really stained ones etc...

Cupoftchaiagain Thu 14-May-15 14:08:27

Hi is your midwife aware of your circumstances? She or your health visitor could put u in touch with various charities that help out with preg mums and new babies. The one in my area had a religious background, but they would supply full starter packs and bought new mattresses as is recommended for the Moses baskets and cots.

RosaGertrudeJekyll Thu 14-May-15 14:14:12

op do not give up. this is what annoys me about fc and people who give stuff away moaning that people dare to ask questions about the items.

op on our local fb page and fc people who ask for help with baby stuff are inundated and its great quality.

bin, forget and try again. i say that as some one who has had nearly all babt stuff from fc. good luck. move on/

UrineMikeHunt Thu 14-May-15 14:14:48


I've got baby stuff here and I'm in South Wales too. If you want to pop me a PM and if we're close enough I'm sure I can help?

Always good to pass stuff along to a good home and it's easier for me To go direct to you smile

Sn00p4d Thu 14-May-15 14:21:02

What clothes size are you? I've got maternity clothes you could have but I'm fat gifted in the arse department cake they're not brand shanking cos I wore them for months but they're clean!x

flora717 Thu 14-May-15 14:53:43

^^Snoop. I love that "gifted in the arse department". I may steal that smile.

InThisMoment95 Thu 14-May-15 15:21:30

Snoop, I too am gifted in the arse department! I am pretty much okay for maternity wear, I'm just living in baggy hoodies and stretchy leggings so far and doing ok but I do urge you to maybe freecycle them yourself if you don't need them? even if I'm no longer in need of maternity clothes i'm sure there are loads of people out there who are(Unfortunately in this climate my situation is not unusual!)
UMH- I've messaged you x

GlitterTwinkleToes Thu 14-May-15 16:02:53


I may be able to help, have messaged you.

Pengweng Thu 14-May-15 16:07:11

Sorry you are having a hard time hun but thankful you have such a lovely caring friend. Some people just can't be arsed chucking stuff away.
Do you have a local NCT branch near you? Ours regularly puts together new baby packs (maternity clothes, moses baskets, sheets, baby bath, bouncers, nappies and clean used babygrows/pjs/vests etc) for mothers who are struggling from donations from the local community or items bought from fundraising. It might be something to look into and see if they could help. You do not need to be a member to receive help.

I would try local face book pages too.

Hope you get back on your feet soon. HUGS X

sebsmummy1 Thu 14-May-15 16:10:44

I am constantly surprised by people and their levels of hygiene. I can remember buying a rocker that played tunes and when I went to pick it up asked if the lady wouldn't mind if I used her toilet (we had travelled a long way and I was about 7 months).

Once inside I could see that her house was basically being used as a giant cat litter and there were overflowing litters all over the place with crawling babies in the same area. The item was well covered in plastic, we got it home and OMG it was rancid. I had to boil wash all the coverings umpteen times and there was a stain that never came out. Anything second hand was generally covered in sick, food stains and a greasy layer of dust. I've lost count of the amount of things my DP just wanted to throw out.

Eventually though I did put together quite a nice collection of stuff and my son did ok on mostly hand me downs and charity buys.

So sorry you find yourself in this situation. Hopefully some nearby MNers will be able to throw some (non stained) stuff your way wink

CorporeSarnie Thu 14-May-15 16:18:05

I try not to judge too much... I grew up in a house where my mum wasn't all that well, working FT, didn't care about cleaning etc., and we had (too many) cats. We and our clothes were clean, but I remember cat hair removal as unending, and imagine others who visited may have judged her. When I have bought things second hand from FB, and they need rather more cleaning than I would like, I try and bear this in mind. Baby stuff does all end up covered in sick or sticky, I've binned stuff that was technically usable but which I didn't feel right selling on our giving to charity because of stains or whatever.

MagicMojito Thu 14-May-15 16:46:49

Yanbu, PM'd you x

drumKitten Thu 14-May-15 16:59:40

I help out at a large charity organisation . We get lots and lots of unusable, broken and manky donations. It costs us thousands of pounds to dispose of it. It's incredibly frustrating especially as the local tip is only a few miles away.

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