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MIL interfering with special diet for my son

(217 Posts)
auntynan Thu 14-May-15 13:32:21

Hey y'all

Am I Being unreasonable about the following:

My wee boy is 2 years and 2 months and has no words yet. He is being assessed by a paediatrician and I like to try and get him all the help i can and research things and do as much for him as is humanly possible but this post isn't about that. It's about my partners mother...

I thought I would try him on a gluten free casein free diet for a while just to see how it goes and if it affects his behaviour and concentration, possibly his speech. I am well aware it may not, but i know people whose kids it has worked for.

Anyway I made his food up specially for my MIL and gave her gluten free shortbread for him and asked if she could give me the space to try this out with DC and she agreed before she took him away (she has him when i am working some days).

Anyway I came home to my (already sceptical and with his head usually buried in the sand) partner who had tears in his eyes saying that his mum had given him a packet of 'teddy spongecakes' as 'she had been told by me she wasn't allowed to give them to my son' and 'could he use them up'.

Is it just me or is she shit-stirring? I feel so angry I can't even begin. this is not the first time she has caused conflict between me and my partner (other time was when she insisted my SIL had my 7 MONTH OLD overnight despite me crying myself to sleep alone -I know this was weak of me and i have since refused this happening again but at the time i felt afraid to stand up to my partner about it).

Anyway, i just need to know I'm not being OTT. This is about my sons health NOT her being all wounded because she cant give him the shitty snacks she wanted to.

GOD I AM ANGRY. I could F***ING slap her stupid face.

Rant over. ;)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 14-May-15 13:35:36

She is maybe being a bit huffy and is U.
.but I think also this is a very sensitive time for you and things probably seem even bigger than they are. I say this with kindness.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder Thu 14-May-15 13:35:41

So she didn't give him the snack and gave them to her son to eat instead. Not seeing the problem. Why was your partner nearly crying about it?

KindergartenKop Thu 14-May-15 13:36:51

Your problem is your dp rather than your mil!

Mumsnet has taught me that if you are unhappy with free grandparent care then pay for childcare.

hiddenhome Thu 14-May-15 13:39:42

Very annoying. Tell her you'll have to with hold contact until YOUR son's health difficulty is sorted out. She's a cheeky bitch and is undermining you.

My ex partner's mother used to give my ds food that had nut warnings on even though he is severely allergic and carries an adrenaline pen hmm

SavoyCabbage Thu 14-May-15 13:40:41

Your son's father was crying because his own mother gave him some bear cake?

TheCowThatLaughs Thu 14-May-15 13:40:51

It does sound rather PA, unless your dp has a particular fondness for teddy spongecakes? Or unless mil often gives your family cake presents?

CaTsMaMmA Thu 14-May-15 13:42:41

any real reason you are cutting out a vast amount of stuff from a toddler's diet, or are you just hoping he'll shout "give me a decent meal, for the love of all that is holy!"

Mrsfrumble Thu 14-May-15 13:43:30

Why was your partner nearly crying? Was he scared of your reaction?

cashewnutty Thu 14-May-15 13:43:34

Your MIL didn't interfere with your DS's special diet, she absolutely complied with it. I am not sure why you are upset.

firesidechat Thu 14-May-15 13:43:59

I can't see the problem with the sponge cakes at all. If I had bought something for my grandson, found out he couldn't eat them and I wouldn't eat them myself, then I would give them to someone who would eat them. In your case this was her son.

I think you are being a bit oversensitive.

Actually I've just noticed that you want to be physically violent to her, so massively OTT.

If you dislike her this much (stupid face) then don't use her for free childcare.

mynewpassion Thu 14-May-15 13:44:07

She followed your instructions and didn't want to waste food so gave it to her son, your DP. Nothing wrong with that.

Maybe it's now hitting DP hard about DS's situation.

ptumbi Thu 14-May-15 13:44:19

Not sure whatthe problem is OP?

Not sure about a gluten free diet helping with speech development either, though I'm willing to have an open mind (Gluten/wheat is the food of the devil anyway, it seems)

It seems a bit ....pfb?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 14-May-15 13:45:32

Aargh can people not actually empathise even slightly as to the fact it might be a bit stressful for the OP at moment if her child has no words and make some allowances?

DaysAreWhereWeLive Thu 14-May-15 13:45:34

It all sounds rather overwrought. Your DP crying over biscuits, you crying because your DC spent the night elsewhere.

Arrange childcare for him that doesn't involve MIL, and maybe everyone can stop being so emotional!

TaliZorahVasNormandy Thu 14-May-15 13:45:37

You need to deal with your wimpy man baby. What sort of man doesnt step in when his partner is sobbing her eyes out at being separated from her baby.

SomewhereIBelong Thu 14-May-15 13:45:41

she should not have done that and I would be having words with her - gentle ones since she does childcare for you...

BUT - DON'T go gluten free without proper supervision from a doctor - you can go from mild sensitivity to gluten to being VERY allergic to it rapidly if you cut it out - please see a doctor or a nutritionist before making those sorts of decisions for a child.

DeladionInch Thu 14-May-15 13:45:43

Mil buys nice treat food for grandson.

Mil is asked to feed grandson special food instead.

Mil does so. Asks son to eat nice treat instead so special treat food isn't wasted.

Is there something else clouding things? Because that sounds like pretty normal behaviour to me?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 14-May-15 13:46:16

pfb? She said she knew people it had worked for and so was trying.

SaucyJack Thu 14-May-15 13:46:24

Not seeing the problem in the specific incident as described, sorry.

Were they the Barny ones btw? I'll eat them.

IKnowRight Thu 14-May-15 13:46:37

Why on earth was your partner nearly in tears? Because his Mum was being mean by inference or because your ds can't eat the teddies?

Your rage seems a bit disproportionate to me, unless there's a back story, which it sounds as though there may well be.

OTheHugeManatee Thu 14-May-15 13:46:52

Why was your partner crying? confused

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 14-May-15 13:47:10

No of course nothing is clouding it. Except she is worried about her son who has a development issue and is waiting to see a paediatrician. Just that wee thing. hmm

ChasedByBees Thu 14-May-15 13:47:22

What on earth is wrong with your DP?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 14-May-15 13:47:45

As is her partner.

This is like "empathy for dummies" class?

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