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To feel so lonely and anxious in the evenings?

(9 Posts)
Sleeplessinnorthlondon Wed 13-May-15 10:08:14

This really is probably a bit pathetic, but we've just moved to a new home a few tube stops away from our old flat and I don't know anyone in the area. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with out first which am so pleased about but shattered in evenings so don't really makeplans to go out and husband works long hrs so doesn't come home til 9 by which time I'm ready for bed really and find self just lonely and restless and anxious when get home around 7 and in house on my own. Lots I shou.d be doing like housework or work for job or reading but just want to have evening meal and conversation with husband. Made worse by fact that pregnancy totally unelected ( we were starting ivf the following month) and so drank before I knew and been reassured by midwife and gp too early to be risk but keeps coming back into mind as fear although never worried about it when at work which I love or with husband. Need to get a grip I know!

crymeariverwoo Wed 13-May-15 10:12:24

yanbu to feel it in the evenings... I feel it too. but at least you don't live alone like me sad

legoqueen Wed 13-May-15 10:16:52

Are there any local groups you could join to get to meet people? Book clubs/exercise classes (suitable for pregnancy) etc? Can DH come home early one or two nights a week until you feel more settled? Could you invite a friend over or visit them? YANBU but hope that the midwife's reassurances re the baby help & that you settle in soon.

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream Wed 13-May-15 10:21:44

YANBU. Can you escape I to a good book/ box set for a couple of the evenings, have one for chatty phone calls to friends if they can't get to you and then one for something like antenatal yoga... This is how I met a couple of good friends. It is tough but go gets crossed it will improve. You have someone who loves you (I presume!) and who is coming home to you, that is a wonderful thing.

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream Wed 13-May-15 10:23:55

Ps drank like a fish in early weeks of both my pregnancies (both semi planned but didn't expect them to happenso quick) the embryo isn't even attached to your blood supply for a little bit at the start (not sure how long). The midwife is right, it is very low risk and very common too!

fellowship33 Wed 13-May-15 10:27:45

Get home, get into PJs, eat supper, watch crappy TV to distract yourself. Have a snack and chat with husband when he gets home. Don't bother about housework, jobs, reading worthwhile books.

Don't stress about the drinking. Many of us have done it, including me.

Happybodybunny12 Wed 13-May-15 10:30:10

Ah don't give the alcohol another thought op, who gets pregnant sober? wink

I think the best way to see situations like this is to say to yourself 'of course I feel this way why wouldn't i? Pregnant and just moved areas, dh home late most evenings'.

Give yourself licence to feel lonely and unsettled because it's how most of us would feel in your shoes.

Then agree chocolates and legos posts and remember mumsbet is here 24/7 for you.

chasingtherainbow Wed 13-May-15 11:01:44

Hey OP.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Hugest of congratulations to you on your pregnancy..
It sounds like the move and new pregnancy have unsettled you- it's all new and they are both big life events. I understand your loneliness. I think my dh is feeling similar, am at same stage of pregnancy and going to bed at like 8pm as I can't keep my eyes open.. he's missing my company and is feeling a bit low on an evening as he craves companionship after a lonely day at work.

Definitely worth seeing if there are any pregnancy related groups (aquanatal/yoga etc) whatever you fancy. Nct/hypnobirthing groups can be a nice place to meet people also. I found I met more people after I had dd rather than through the pregnancy stuff and you naturally gravitate towards patents of a similar personality as you and you have the babies to fill that awkward -are-we-friends-yet gap.

As pp said .. pj's. .food you fancy and crappy telly or books are a nice way to relax in the evening. Try to enjoy being bored now cos it'll be an entirely different level post birth grin

Try not to worry over the drinking. It's so so common, but I know how easy it is to worry. Take care of yourself OP. x

Sleeplessinnorthlondon Wed 13-May-15 11:23:57

These messages are all so so lovely, thank you!!! Excellent ideas on box set actually, think could do that as less focus than books. Know drinking ok but still makes me nervous as didn't find out til 2.5 weeks after conception, around day 18 or 19 afte conception so longer than normal 2 weeks of regular cycle but been fully reassured by midwife and friend who is Ob gyn no risk then... Know is mad, do think is just being unsettled, thanks for all being so fab and chasingtherainbow so relieved not just me going to bed so early and huge congrats to you too!!! Xxxxx

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