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To ask this waitress what her problem is?

(120 Posts)
Volleyhang Tue 12-May-15 19:57:37

Central London-ish restaurant. Tucked down a backstreet. I am a regular regular. Have been going twice a week for 5 years. Always seen the same waitress so she knows I'm a regular, but the last twelve times or so, she has treated me with what I can only describe as contempt.

When I walk in to wait for a table, she notices I am there but ignores me for (it has been up to) 20 mins when the restaurant is empty. About five of these times she has tried to seat the people in the queue behind me (skirted round me to ask them how many they are) and each time they have stated that I am in the queue in front of them. She has rolled her eyes and without looking at me said "you can go over there." Once I sit she ignores me again for up to 20 mins (when it's virtually empty) until I catch her attention (on the third or fourth attempt) to get a menu - or another waiter, serving a different side of the restaurant, comes to serve me.

Two of these times I have tried to come in with my push chair (and 6mo baby) and she has refused me entry despite there being other women with babies in the restaurant at the same time. When I have pointed this out to her she has shrugged her shoulders and walked off.

She often refuses to serve me dishes on the menu even though I see other people have them!

I realise this sounds very Fawlty-Towers-esque as I'm writing, but honest to God this is what happens!

One time I asked if I could have a seat at the back for a work meeting (which was free, not reserved the right number of people) and she said no. I tried explaining why I needed it - for a quiet, private meeting, if she'd be so kind etc, and she was affronted and said absolutely not for health and safety reasons. My colleague entered - who was meeting me give minutes later - didnNt see me when he came in and asked her for the exact same table for the same reasons and she gave it to him!

I tried to counteract it when it first started happening by leaving her a series of generous tips. I thought if she had taken offence at me for some reason over the years that I could cover it by showing my appreciation. It hasn't worked.

My DD has never has a screaming fit in there. I have never knowingly insulted her. I have always tipped well. I have never been rude or sniffy or treated her disrespectfully. I am trying to run through a list of anything I could have done.

I know you'll say move to a different restaurant - and I will - but before that WIBU to ask her what her problem is?

imjustahead Tue 12-May-15 19:59:57


not a clue

v odd.

hibbledibble Tue 12-May-15 20:01:22

After all this rudeness I wonder why you keep going back?

It sounds like the issue is her, not you, so I would just take my custom elsewhere and not think any more of her.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 12-May-15 20:01:42

She's a waitress. Why haven't you complained to her manager?

Did you really think tipping her bad behaviour would work out for you? confused

NotYouNaanBread Tue 12-May-15 20:01:59

YABU. But YWNBU to write to the management and point out that they are losing a long time customer. Feel free to splash all over Twitter etc.

You're in central London. Find somewhere new. I don't know why you went back after she'd done that twice.

someonestolemynick Tue 12-May-15 20:02:15

Why don't you complain to her manager/ head office? Why have you allowed Ber to treat you in this way?

sunseeker66 Tue 12-May-15 20:02:44

How odd?

Have you ever complained to the manager or facebook page.

Maybe she is jealous of you OP.

Cantbelievethisishappening Tue 12-May-15 20:02:50

Speak to the manger..... she sounds bonkers.

ltk Tue 12-May-15 20:02:52

Don't ask her. Tell her manager.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 12-May-15 20:03:23

I would also have walked out after the second instance of rudeness. The first I would give benefit of the doubt.

I never wait more than 15 minutes for service and will just walk out if ignored.

CaptainAnkles Tue 12-May-15 20:03:32

Couldn't you ask to speak to the manager? It'll never stop if you don't address it, she'll just think 'I can be as rude as I like, it makes no difference to the tips I get or how often this customer comes in anyway.'

Tuesdaysgone Tue 12-May-15 20:04:04

How odd. I think I'd have to ask her if I had done anything to upset her.

Waltermittythesequel Tue 12-May-15 20:04:32


Why do you keep going back?

What an odd woman.

Volleyhang Tue 12-May-15 20:04:52

I think I thought maybe I had offended her by mistake (by not tipping - even though I can't remember a time when I didn't tip) and thought a tip would cover any unintentional slight.

My friends have also been here with me (it's a common hangout for all my friends) and they say she avoids our table when I am with them.

FadedRed Tue 12-May-15 20:05:28

Volleyhang -I don't understand why you weren't speaking to the manager after the first of the poor service incidents you describe, let alone several repetitions of poor service. And why tip if the service is so bad? confused

todayisayesterdaystomorrow Tue 12-May-15 20:05:28

You waited 20 minutes in an empty restaurant for a table, another 20 minutes to get a menu!
Yabu to keep returning.

Planesailingtoday Tue 12-May-15 20:05:40

Why are you paying her extra to be extra rude to you? Are you trying to buy a friend? No?

Speak to the manager/owner, give them some examples of her behaviour and ask them if they would like to keep your custom.

Stop enabling someone to bully you.

Katisha Tue 12-May-15 20:06:04

Ask to speak to manager with her there. Seriously

Tuesdaysgone Tue 12-May-15 20:06:17

I wonder if she thinks you are someone else iyswim?

Tequilashotsfor1 Tue 12-May-15 20:07:08

Why havnt you been to the manager?

DoJo Tue 12-May-15 20:08:15

I agree with EVERYONE else! Speak to the manager - if she has a problem with you, then she needs to suck it up and be professional when you are in her workplace or ask that someone else be assigned to serve you if there is really something so heinous that she cannot bear to behave reasonably around you. If you like the restaurant and want to continue going there, then the management deserve to know that she is alienating loyal customers!

flora717 Tue 12-May-15 20:08:57

Vote with your purse. Talk to the manager, say it's a shame but you simply are not comfortable with the treatment you get. Are there other members of staff you could ask for?

VelvetRose Tue 12-May-15 20:09:24

That's weird! Either ask her or report to her manager.

RiverTam Tue 12-May-15 20:11:53

I mean this in the kindest way but you sound like a bit of a doormat. Why on earth have you sat there for 20 minutes not being served? I would have kicked up a rumpus (or left) the very first time. If you really want to carry on going there then talk to her manager. But don't just let her treat you like shit!

ILovedYouYesterday Tue 12-May-15 20:13:25

She secretly fancies you?

I am a wuss and would have stopped going there after the second time but you sound like a braver woman than me so complain to the manager.

The woman in our local deli looks at me as if I am something off the bottom of her shoe but at least she doesn't refuse to serve me!

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