Hi
Help.
Today some friends asked what we thought about becoming the Guardian of their two kids in case something happened to the two of them.
These are pretty good friends. Have known since before both lots of us had kids. We see them about 2/3 times a year (they are not local to us). Kids are very young school age (so - if something happened to the parents tomorrow - we would be talking about around 15 years of "live at home" Guardianship.
The husband has a sister - who he doesn't get on with at all. The wife has several siblings - who I guess that she also doesn't get on with well enough. We are a stable couple with two children a similar age and a nice house in a nice community (although not near their families).
I guess I have three things that put me off Guardianship in this case:
- These friends parent slightly differently to me (and I am quite a bit stricter).
- I worry about the impact on our current family life: the whole cost of living (including holidays, trips, days out etc) would be considerably more for four kids than two. Ok, we are very lucky and currently do quite a lot of travel and things: can't see that being sustainable for four kids. I assume that money could be "released from the parent's estate" to help fund things, but I would probably feel guilty (i.e. that the estate should be kept intact for their education/future).
- my Dad (my mum died a couple of years ago) has been recently diagnosed with inoperable cancer. I am already feeling awfully like "the squashed middle": I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. The thought of further responsibility stresses the crap out of me :(
Husband is not very "community minded" and would be fairly against guardianship of anyone.
I theoretically would be up for guardianship, but probably someone very close to me (nieces/nephews or similar). I would probably struggle to turn friends down as a last resort after the event, but can't help to think that there must be someone closer to them as a better first resort (like one of their siblings).
... BUT I feel like such a bitch wanting to somehow politely decline... How on earth WOULD you politely decline?!
Help :(