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How to deal with this friend?

(24 Posts)
ChandlerBing Mon 11-May-15 14:54:50

I run with a friend once a week. She usually suggests having a run together, although I do sometimes too.

Whenever we run or meet up she seems to be in a foul mood; sometimes she is grumpy and moany and at other times she is uncommunicative and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. She doesn't ever seem to fully listen to anything I say. She also doesn't really seem to appreciate me as a friend; I recently gave her a birthday present for her DD and didn't even get a thank you. If we are running together and she sees someone else she knows she literally has a personality transplant and is all smiley, chirpy and chatty with them.

She has also recently started running another day each week with another friend of hers and I've seen them running past my house a few times, giggling away and having a great time.

And I know this sounds silly but she always puts a Facebook status up after her run with the other friend saying what a great time she's had but never ever after running with me.

She has known me for a long time so I'm not sure if she takes my friendship for granted? Or perhaps she doesn't like me? Although I wouldn't have thought she would suggest running with me if she didn't? I'm not a boring person, I'm a "fun" person (IMO) but when out running with her I feel like a naughty child who can't have a laugh and have fun as she's so stern!

Should I ditch her?

WhoNickedMyName Mon 11-May-15 14:56:23


longdiling Mon 11-May-15 14:58:26

Never mind what SHE thinks of YOU. Do you enjoy her company? Do you enjoy running with her? I can't imagine you do considering the behaviour you describe. Life is far too short to waste time with people who you don't actually like and who don't treat you well. Ditch her. Don't spend a moment longer tormenting yourself about how she treats other people in relation to you.

MaidOfStars Mon 11-May-15 14:58:48

Perhaps she's so comfortable with you that she doesn't need to do anything other than pound her grumpiness out on the pavement, in silent companionship.

clutches at straws

Bodyinpyjamas10 Mon 11-May-15 15:01:01

Defiantly and tell her she's draining the happiness out of you. May as well be honest.

Why have you been so nice? My first response to a face like a slapped arse is either cheer up or fuck off.

Life's too short to pander to drains.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 Mon 11-May-15 15:05:42

Have you posted about her before, it sounds very familiar! I think you should just be 'busy' for a while if she suggests a run. See how she reacts and see how you feel- will you actually miss her or not?

crymeariverwoo Mon 11-May-15 15:08:24

Do you ever meet up with her other than running? I run with friends on a weekly basis and we literally never speak... only now and then! I am too busy concentrating on my running to be able to talk! but then... I am always so out of breath I can't really get any words out! If she acts like this when you meet up on other occasions then maybe there is more of a problem, but really most runners I know won't be chatting while running

eddielizzard Mon 11-May-15 15:11:04

yes, be unavailable. with any luck she'll have a good think about her behaviour and have a light bulb moment.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv Mon 11-May-15 21:48:04

Have I read this before?

msgrinch Mon 11-May-15 21:54:35

I swear we had the exact same thread last month.

fiveacres Mon 11-May-15 21:58:03

I've known grouchy people like this.

Would you be able to say something like 'I'll give running a miss as you don't seem to enjoy it much. I have to admit I do wonder if it's me, as you seem ok when we bumped into X.' Or would that not go down well?

It's hard I know but sometimes you do have to pull people up on their behaviour, otherwise they carry on and on ...

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 11-May-15 22:04:48

She sounds like a bit of a moose, why run with her if she's unpleasant?

I agree thst this thread sounds familiar, have you written about her before?

Lipsync Mon 11-May-15 22:09:48

Why are you only asking whether she doesn't like you, and worrying about why she doesn't post nice things on FB about you? Do you like her? Do you enjoy your runs? Would you want to continue the relationship? Why are your feelings of less importance than hers?

Dublinlass Mon 11-May-15 22:16:05

I think deactivate Facebook. A lot of these threads are people annoyed/sad about status updates. I got rid of my Facebook account(which is probably why I joined this site), and honest to god best thing I ever did. Now when I want to talk to friends(real friends),I'm back to ringing them and I hear news for the first time instead of reading about it on fb and then being told same news again when I ring... Best thing I ever did!!grin

boardgames Mon 11-May-15 22:35:56

Are you a better runner than her?

YouPooPooBumBum Mon 11-May-15 22:36:14

I am having déjà vu confused

mrsfuzzy Mon 11-May-15 22:43:45

yes, i remember this thread too, why are you asking the same question again?

CrapBag Mon 11-May-15 22:44:47

I've definitely read this before. Wasn't she ditching you to go running with someone else?

Eigg Mon 11-May-15 22:45:38

It's very easy - just don't run with her again.

It's not fun for you, it doesn't seem to be fun for her.

Just stop.

msgrinch Mon 11-May-15 22:46:48

Chandlerbing do you run like pheobe buffet?! grin

kissmethere Mon 11-May-15 22:51:58

This sounds dejavuey to me too.
Sorry to be blunt but it just sounds like she doesn't like you very much. Maybe she feels obliged. Is there any bad history?
Definitely stop going running with her. Find someone different to run with who enjoys your company.

Fleecyleesy Mon 11-May-15 22:54:41

Don't go running with her anymore. Simple!

straighttothepoint Mon 11-May-15 23:22:35

Ditch her!

ThreeFrazzledFandangos Tue 12-May-15 00:14:34

I've read it before too, almost if not exactly the same. Then friend mum declines run with OP and she bumps into her with another friend.

Friend mum + friend run off together laughing and OP feels sad

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