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DH has ruined Hen Do surprise

(87 Posts)
jugglingmonkey Fri 08-May-15 16:32:09

DH completely let the cat out of the bag to my DSis last night. It's a one day activity, and he has given the game away. He tried to cover it up, but it was v obvious, and have had message from BIL to be to say that DSis knows and is a bit upset that the surprise is ruined.

I am fuming, this is classic DH. Over excited, not thinking... He would hit the f@cking roof if someone had done this to him or for a stag do he was planning. But all he said after they left was 'it's an accident and I don't want to feel bad about it'.

1) AIBU to be livid?
2) how do we fix? Does DH owe her an apology/extra surprise?

DisappointedOne Fri 08-May-15 16:33:22

Perhaps your sister should just get over it. It won't deliberate and nobody died.

expatinscotland Fri 08-May-15 16:33:32

He doesn't owe her an extra surprise.

MairzyDoats Fri 08-May-15 16:33:58

Can you change it? Although she is overreacting imo.

expatinscotland Fri 08-May-15 16:34:18

Your sis needs to grow up a bit from the sounds of it. Surprise hen-do? Is she 14?

YDdraigGoch Fri 08-May-15 16:34:59

Are you all adults? Get over it, these things happen.

Leviticus Fri 08-May-15 16:35:04

It's unfortunate but wasn't deliberate. Her hen do will be just as great but without the surprise element. Much worse things happen. I don't think she needs anything making up to her.

Sirzy Fri 08-May-15 16:35:08

Unless he did it to be vindictive then in the nicest possible way - get over it!

She is still going to get the day out.
I don't see why it being a suprise is such a big deal especially for an adult

midnightvelvet01 Fri 08-May-15 16:35:20

1) yanbu

2) no way

loveareadingthanks Fri 08-May-15 16:36:19

Over reaction.

OK, surprises are nice, but how long does the 'Wow OMG we're going deep-sea diving!!!' bit last? 30 seconds tops. That's all that's spoilt and the rest of the day will be exactly the same.

CMOTDibbler Fri 08-May-15 16:36:19

YABU. He doesn't owe her anything either.

Leviticus Fri 08-May-15 16:36:20

X post with everyone. Honestly don't worry about it.

honeyroar Fri 08-May-15 16:36:21

It's not the end of the world. Surely she's still doing something nice with her friends and you did a good job organising. I don't see why she's so upset or her BF needs to tell people she's upset.

chairmeoh Fri 08-May-15 16:37:37

I think a quick apology from him to her would be nice and then for everyone to move on.
Nothing is ruined. She's still going to have a great time.
Definitely no need for an extra surprise.

As to you feeling livid, I'd be annoyed if this happens frequently, but livid is a bit OTT.

AlpacaLypse Fri 08-May-15 16:37:42

But all he said after they left was 'it's an accident and I don't want to feel bad about it'.

Tough. He's made her feel bad so he deserves to feel bad himself. He definitely owes her a sincere apology.

BitchPeas Fri 08-May-15 16:38:50

I can't believe adults are really this precious.

jugglingmonkey Fri 08-May-15 16:38:51

Thanks everyone. She's not crying about it, just a bit disappointed. Everyone is different and the surprise factor is part of the fun, in our circle anyway. And no, we're not 14. But if she wanted to know the details she wouldn't have asked us bridesmaids to organise it... Anyway...

No extra's needed... But an apology of sorts, perhaps??

BlackTrivet Fri 08-May-15 16:39:01

Your DH may owe her an apology but that's all. I am surprised that any one would be upset or livid about it though. If anything is 'ruined' it will be down the immaturity of the hen and her party. Laugh it off and have a great time anyway!

BadgersNadgers Fri 08-May-15 16:40:43

I think Bridezilla needs to get a grip.

expatinscotland Fri 08-May-15 16:41:03

'He's made her feel bad so he deserves to feel bad himself. '

Jesus wept! He made a mistake.

Mountain. Moehill.

jugglingmonkey Fri 08-May-15 16:41:41

Wow. Brideszilla she is not. Far from.

AwfulBeryl Fri 08-May-15 16:42:35

Did he know it was a surprise ?
Yanbu to be annoyed if he did, but saying that I don't think it's worth getting too cross. It was a mistake,it happens. He should apologise, but I don't think he owes her a surprise.

WaitingForMe Fri 08-May-15 16:42:44

Actually I think this is a deal deal and him saying he doesn't want to feel bad about it is minimising it.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty Fri 08-May-15 16:43:37

Well, what's the activity? Is there something you can do to add an element of the unexpected ?

And why did you tell DH if hescrap at keeping secrets?!

KneeQuestion Fri 08-May-15 16:43:59

Your sister is BU for letting on that she knows what the surprise is!

As is your BIL for texting to tell you.

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