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To only ask 6 out of 25 children to ds's party?

(28 Posts)
Wideeyedcarrrot Thu 07-May-15 13:46:01

He'll be six.
That's ok though isn't it? Six out of 25? Not too many that the others will be sad? He's asking three boys and three girls (which is just how it's fallen). A lot of the others have had just girl parties or just boy parties. Ds has been to a couple of whole class parties too and we haven't invited all the children that have previously invited ds to their parties simply because they had big parties and asked lots of people and ds is only asking children he plays with a lot.
I feel guilty though!

Sirzy Thu 07-May-15 13:46:58

6 is fine.

I think a general rule of thumb is less than half or the whole class.

TeenAndTween Thu 07-May-15 13:47:15

YANBU. Don't feel guilty.

BarbarianMum Thu 07-May-15 13:47:37

6 out of 25 is fine smile No need to feel guilty at all.

OrlandoWoolf Thu 07-May-15 13:47:45

That's what we've always done. Don't think we've had been to many whole class parties.

balletgirlmum Thu 07-May-15 13:48:02

6 is fine but I'd ask a couple more as it's likely not everyone will be able to make it b

pootlebug Thu 07-May-15 13:48:10

No that's fine.
The 'reciprocal' arrangement of being asked to a party is that you take a present. You don't have to invite every child who invited your child, imo.

And I agree with Sirzy - less than half, or all of the class.

JemimaPuddlePop Thu 07-May-15 13:48:34

No that's fine!

I agree with the pp, less than half or the whole class.

Hoppinggreen Thu 07-May-15 13:49:37

As a general rule
All the girls
All the boys
2/3 of the class or fewer ( unless this means less than about 5 not invited
Whole class.
I've been doing this about 7 years and never fallen out with anybody over it.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 07-May-15 13:50:45

YANBU to only want six dc and out of 25 this is fair.
However, I think YABU not to invite people who invited your dc, especially if he attended their parties. No way could I have done this, I'm not sure I'd have known where to put my face tbh.

Tommy Thu 07-May-15 13:55:29

that's crazy though morethanpotatoprints! what of your child gets invited to every child's party but you only have the space or finances for a small party of 6?

Invite who your child wants to come - invitations are that - an freely given invitation. If you start getting into party politics, you'll never hear the end of it and you'll be skint

kali110 Thu 07-May-15 13:56:56

Thats fine

Jellyrollquiltmom Thu 07-May-15 13:59:34

One guest per year of age was our rule (twins and younger siblings count as one) until 7. Then it was single playdates throughout the year instead of a birthday party. It's not just the kids you're having round, it's the parents/babysitters as well. Can you and your house cope with 40 people? brew

morethanpotatoprints Thu 07-May-15 14:00:07

Tommy grin

It's just what we did, I don't think any of mine were invited to all parties and not all dc had parties.
But if they had attended child x party, child x would be invited to theirs.
I don't see it as party politics but basic social skills.

Leeds2 Thu 07-May-15 14:00:53

Sounds fine to me.

Teacuptravells Thu 07-May-15 14:02:53

Gosh we certainly didn't invite everyone whose we'd been invited to ! Many children have whole clas parties which my daughter went to. We didn't so she only invited her closest friends. It would be madness to invite xyz simply as she'd been to theirs if she was only invited to theirs due to it being a class invite not aas she was close to them!!

pilates Thu 07-May-15 14:03:48

Absolutely fine smile

Allinson2014 Thu 07-May-15 14:10:08

I've invited six from DS2's class as its a joint party with DS1. I couldn't invite all the people who he's previously been to parties off so I asked him who he wanted and invited those. Bit worried I've broken an unwritten rule now though shock

Wideeyedcarrrot Thu 07-May-15 14:35:18

See some of the children who have had whole class parties ds doesn't really play with. It's not that he doesn't like them but he just doesn't play with them very much. So I sort of felt bad making him ask children he doesn't play with instead of the ones he does. Especially since they would then probably think 'but ds is my friend so why has he invited x instead of me?'

Gah. It's complicated!

TeenAndTween Thu 07-May-15 14:45:58

OP It is not complicated.

Your child is invited to a party. In return they give a present.

Your child holds a party. He invites who you and he want, in this case his 6 closest friends.

Teacuptravells Thu 07-May-15 16:44:11

Dont feel guilty it really isnt complicated.

If you hold a small(er at any rate) party of course you only invite those your child currently plays with. At a young age that varies month by month anyway!

If you hold a v.big party you invite the whole class and anyone whose party you've been to if you want to.

We've never had a whole class party. I think they're quite overwhelming for lots of R /yr1 children anyway.

OrlandoWoolf Thu 07-May-15 17:00:00

I really think MN should publish a list of etiquette..

Hen nights


dementedpixie Thu 07-May-15 17:05:24

of course 6 out of 25 is ok and I wouldnt feel obliged to invite everyone who had invited your child as that way you could end up with a full class party anyway!

Anomaly Thu 07-May-15 17:11:26

You can't always invite every child who invited yours. I do parties every year for all three of my children inviting 15ish children to each one. No way have my kids had that many invites in return and I wouldn't expect them too. Loads of kids don't have parties ever because they're expensive and a pita!

VelvetRose Thu 07-May-15 17:55:24

That's fine. We always did this. Well we once joined up with other parents and had a massive party but dd loathed it!

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