To feel like I want to explode and never come back.

(10 Posts)
ihatelego Wed 06-May-15 12:47:58

I'm a new mum of my second dc, baby is 3 weeks old. I don't know why but I'm really struggling mainly when i have my other dc at home and I'm on my own. I feel pathetic but I just feel so angry right now I could cry, and I don't think I can deal with the stress. But i can't really pinpoint what's makin me feel like this, sometimes I feel fine and happy but when i have to go out somewhere, when my 5yrold has one of his "poo sagas" or is dropping mess all over the floor or just makes me repeat myself over and over again i'm finding it really hard to control my temper and end up shouting and getting angry, and then i feel so guilty as he's not being naughty just a 5 yr old. Please tell me I'm pathetic as now my washing machine is playing up on top and i just don't feel like I can do this anymore over such stupid things.

waffilyversati1e Wed 06-May-15 13:02:21

Why do you want to be told you are pathetic? Just sounds like you are normal to me.
Your hormones 3 weeks after giving birth will be all over the place and you are still recovering both physically and mentally so don't be too hard on yourself (or your little boy)

If you really feel like you need some help with your anger management the number for parentline is 0808 800 2222

take care

Lilybensmum1 Wed 06-May-15 13:05:45

You are not pathetic, it's hard work being a mum. I had moments like that where I felt overwealmed and so angry.

When you feel like shouting can you just go into another room for a couple of minutes as long as your ds are safe, that might give you time to calm down, collect yourself and not shout. It's not ideal to shout at a 5 year old but a lot of us have been where you are. Are you sleeping? Do you have anyone to ask for help? I didn't and struggled through, you do come out the other side.

If you continue to feel like this you may want to speak to your GP/health visitor to ensure that you don't have postnatal depression.

Don't be too hard on yourself just try not to shout at your little one, it is hard work but you can get through this.

ihatelego Wed 06-May-15 13:12:56

i've had depression before and i really don't want to go back there but my anxiety has been really bad as well like on monday i wanted to go out so my ds could have fun but i was getting really anxious, self conscious and short tempered.

I've never been an angry person i never normally shout or even get too stressed but it gets so bad my head just throbs incessantly! i've had some baby blues but i thought they'd passed now as were always quite severe but sporadic and short lived.

My dp's back at work full time, not getting much sleep especially not decent sleep as it's hard to settle baby. thank you for the encouragement i'm not sure if it's normal and i'm having a lot of bad days or i should say something but as with a lot of people i'd be worried about what they'd think in regards to my parenting sad

ihatelego Wed 06-May-15 13:16:13

i'm really trying not to shout at my son or get angry but the alternative is crying and having a mental breakdown either way i'm a shit mum right now.

Blastoffonetwothree Wed 06-May-15 13:28:53

No, you're not. A 5 year old can try anyone's patience. Poo sagas are SOOOOO frustrating! Then add hormones and a teeny baby and it's really dead fucking hard. And you're completely normal.

Blastoffonetwothree Wed 06-May-15 13:30:21

I have a 6 year old and two four year olds and shouting isn't ideal but God knows I do it, sometimes just over the din of it all. Please be gentle with yourself. Can you talk to your HV/gp re baby blues/PND?
I really feel for you x

RoboticSealpup Wed 06-May-15 13:38:51

You're being really hard on yourself! Do you have a partner who expects you to take care of a 5-yr old and a newborn as well as keep the house tidy? I often get stressed when my house looks like shit and DD just cries all day because I don't have any opportunity to tidy up, but I've spoken to DH about it and he understands and helps out. If the pressure is not coming from a DP, then really try and give yourself a break. I only have one baby and bloody hell, it's hard enough just leaving the house or even grabbing lunch some days!

flowers for you

ihatelego Wed 06-May-15 13:48:16

thank you i feel better knowing other people find it so hard too! poo sagas are awful, he seems to have reverted from being fine on the toilet to now somehow getting poo EVERYWHERE and being incapable of wiping himself properly, then of course we're trying to have a conversation from either end of the house so just repeating everything 3 times - this happened whilst i was trying to breastfeed earlier!

I'd be a bit worried about the gp as i'm breastfeeding and would be worried they'd involve ss or something.. and i don't feel like it permanently it's on and off but when it comes on it's really severe sad

My DP does expect quite a bit but he also does his best to help out when he's home, yes it's hard to keep the house tidy.. and to get lunch!

Blastoffonetwothree Wed 06-May-15 14:19:45

Oh lovely, please see your GP sooner rather than later. Despite the rotten reputation SS has, they're not in the business of interfering with stressed tired mums.
Do you have any other support?

Re DS, I truly know how maddening the poo thing is, and it maybe a reaction to the new baby, but really all you can do is ignore or stick a pull-up on. It will pass, he won't always do this.
But please seek help. Do you have family or friends who could help with DS?

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