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to wonder if people will be as outraged by this judge as by Farage

(64 Posts)
retrorobot Wed 06-May-15 01:51:47

Genetic and birth mother has daughter taken away from her and given to a gay couple, one of whom is the father. There was no surrogacy agreement in place between the mother and the gay couple and the judge found on the balance of probabilities that the mother deliberately misled the gay couple in order to conceive a child for herself rather than changing her mind at a later date.

The mother was criticised for:

- Keeping the 15-month-old girl with her 24 hours a day, sleeping in the same bed, being carried around in a sling, and breast-fed on demand day and night. I have two daughters under three and that's only a slightly exaggerated description of their relationship with their mother for the first 15 months after birth.

- Using requests to take breaks to express milk to disrupt the other side’s evidence.

The mother was Romanian. Query whether the result would have been the same if the mother was middle class English rather than poor immigrant.

The judge involved does not have children.

nooka Wed 06-May-15 02:22:29

So the court decided that the child was better off with her father than her mother. That does happen from time to time. In this case I suspect that the mother's behaviour in court may have had a lot to do with it. From the Telegraph:

When they eventually launched a legal challenge, she set out to undermine their case with a series of extraordinary and baseless allegations about them, including in messages to the court, peppered with offensive remarks about their sexuality. The judge detailed how she spuriously claimed that the men had group sex sessions, allowed people to come to their house to take drugs, were in an open relationship and that H was addicted to antibiotics. In all cases she provided no evidence to back up her claims and later dropped the allegations.

Plus apparently blocking contact whenever possible including using the healthcare system for no good reason to avoid contact appointments with the child's father. Plus I can't imagine the court was particularly impressed when she opted to express milk during the times when the two men were attempting to give evidence. I wasn't aware that extended breastfeeders expressed at all - by 15 months I thought most feeds were at night, with mainly food being offered during the day.

I've not read the DM article because I hate the Mail, but I wodul expect them to report negatively on the judge as on elevation she was given permission to be referred to as Ms Justice, which no doubt inflames the anti-woman prejudices there.

fattymcfatfat Wed 06-May-15 02:39:57

the judge has done nothing wrong as far as I can see. she has taken the evidence and the interests of the child and made a judgement based on those things. that is what judges do.

PastPerfect Wed 06-May-15 03:17:17

This sounds very familiar and I'm fairly sure the mother posted on here at the time. All very odd.

Oldsu Wed 06-May-15 06:35:52

Sorry what's this to do with Farage and what does it have to do with her nationality and socio economic status oh and why does the fact that the Judge is childless have to do with anything.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 06-May-15 06:49:12

What is the link between the two?

Fathers being awarded primary custody of their children does happen you know, Farage didn't make the whole concept up. Nor did he invent the notion that the starting point for custody should be 50/50.

MythicalKings Wed 06-May-15 06:51:33

Looks like the judge made the right decision, after reading nooka's post.

HumourlessHarpy Wed 06-May-15 06:55:04

What on earth does a judgement in an admittedly messy surrogate case have to do with UKIP's policies? Are you hard of thinking, OP?

Icimoi Wed 06-May-15 06:59:10

You have been very, very selective with the facts of the case, haven't you?

FishWithABicycle Wed 06-May-15 06:59:18

Obviously there's two sides to every story but it seems fairly reasonable that if the courts are presented with a case of a weirdly obsessive deceitful and manipulative parent vs a reasonably stable parent not displaying these unhealthy attitudes, they will grant residency to the latter. The sexuality of the parents and the conditions of the conception aren't nearly as relevant as the mother's clearly fruitloop behaviour.

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 06-May-15 07:05:37

What's the Farage link?

FarFromAnyRoad Wed 06-May-15 07:13:59

Has Nigel Farage commented on this case or been involved in any way? Need to know this before commenting further OP - can you clear this up?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 06-May-15 07:14:15

Yanbu. What everyone else said.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 06-May-15 07:14:37

YABU!! Stupid me.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 06-May-15 07:15:33

the judge had all the facts - and made a decision - child lives with dad - not getting the outrage ...or the UKIP link

letscookbreakfast Wed 06-May-15 07:19:06

I don't get the outrage, is the OP expecting people to be up in arms because the dad was awarded custody?

morage Wed 06-May-15 07:19:29

This case has nothing to do with Farage.
Although I do wonder how a young child will cope living with a parent who they don't know.

Collaborate Wed 06-May-15 07:20:56

YABU. What a curious, selective summary to give in your OP. Typical of someone with an agenda to drive who either hasn't bothered to learn the full facts of the case but still thinks they know better than the judge, or realises the full facts undermine the point they want to make.

Icimoi Wed 06-May-15 07:21:01

I suspect OP has some idea that it would be hypocritical to express outrage about Farage if we do not also express outrage about this judge. Possibly the link is the fact that Farage wants breastfeeding mothers to hide away, who knows. But the reality is that there is really no connection, and there is a massive logic gap on the part of the OP.

BigRedBall Wed 06-May-15 07:25:05

grin... Bit stingy with the facts there OP. YABU.

nooka Wed 06-May-15 07:25:41

I think it's the Romanian link. Of course the fact that the father was Romanian too was clearly irrelevant to the OP.

FarFromAnyRoad Wed 06-May-15 07:29:32

Also OP makes mention of the 'poor immigrant' Romanian mother - whilst completely neglecting to mention that the father is also Romanian! Unless I'm missing something nothing is said about the Mother being poor. Not all Romanians are street beggars you know OP.

PastPerfect Wed 06-May-15 07:30:08

I suspect the OP is actually the mother who has used MN and (according the the linked reports) other social media to previously push her warped agenda.

The mother posted at length when contact was first before the courts and showed a jaw droppingly shocking lack of self awareness in the way she portrayed her "cause". If I recall correctly there was also a petition (although I may have conflated two threads) which she assumed we would unwaveringly support.

PacificDogwood Wed 06-May-15 07:32:46


In oh so many ways.

PastPerfect Wed 06-May-15 07:33:37

Apologies OP I was being stupid accusing you of being the mum.

However there is a lot more to this than meets the eye

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