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To ask if you've ever met a man who showed genuine hatred towards women?

(101 Posts)
EmeraldThief Tue 05-May-15 14:24:38

I only ask because in my local convenience store just now I came face to face with a former work colleague who IMO was just like that. I was the only woman at this place, surrounded by men and never had a single problem until I had to work alongside him. From the off was very arrogant, offhand and attempted to "put me in my place." I took it until one day I snapped, told him he was out of order and I wasn't prepared to be spoken to like that.

The response to that was off the scale, you know how when you usually stand up to bullies they back down, or are supposed to anyway? Well he exploded, red faced, bulging eyes, actually rocking back and forth ranting "who then fuck do YOU think you are?", "what the fuck is wrong with YOU?." amongst other things. I was for once rendered speechless, and was actually scared for my safety. I refused to work with him after that and left shortly aftewards.

It had to be because I was woman. He was was like that with anyone else and was indeed popular with everyone else there. It was bizarre and then first and only time I've ever encountered it. I know he had teenage daughters and I often wonder how he'd feel if a bloke spoke to them like that?

I should hate him for that but I see him for the pathetic creature he is. Short, bald, middle aged and borderline obese. With a really noticeable lisp. i actually pity him.

Sorry for rambling. Has anyone else evee encountered this?

Hoppinggreen Tue 05-May-15 14:30:06

Yes, my Grandfather, my father and to an extent my brother.
They particularly had an issue with uppity women who didn't know their places ( ie intelligent, articulate ones) and a proper woman was pink, fluffy and domesticated.
None of them liked me much - which I take as a massive compliment

Schoolaroundthecorner Tue 05-May-15 14:31:41

Yes,but he was a teenager at the time. I was at a student exchange residential programme for a week (mixed sex) with teenagers ranging from I think 15-17. There were about 30 of us. I remember having little to no direct contact with him during the residency but at the end we all wrote in each other's programmes various well wishes etc. They were just circulated round to everyone and people wrote various pleasantries.

Mine came back and I noticed he had written 'if you were a bloke I'd punch you in the face', he'd written similarly ugly things in some of the other girls programmes. No it wasn't a joke, he was a real weirdo. I sometimes wonder now what he developed into...

EmeraldThief Tue 05-May-15 14:34:41

Interesting Hopping. I was quite confident in my job and new the ropes, maybe better than he did, I suppose I didn't know my place did I?

MrsKoala Tue 05-May-15 14:34:58

Loads. Sadly. sad

shewept Tue 05-May-15 14:37:35

No. I have met people who don't like me, but never had the impression it was because I was a woman or that they didn't like women.

Obviously you know the situation better, but is there a chance he just didn't like you personally?

cailindana Tue 05-May-15 14:37:46

Yes, my father. When DD was born he didn't want to come and see her. He told me when I was about 12 that there was no point in educating some. This is a guy who's been supported for the last 35 years by my mother, a degree-educated professions woman confused. His hatred is so strong it's impervious to logic.

drbonnieblossman Tue 05-May-15 14:38:35

Pleased to say no.

Sadly I've seen a lot of genuine hatred towards men though.

Both situations equally grim, surely? Hatred is hatred.

cailindana Tue 05-May-15 14:38:39

no point in educating women.

EmeraldThief Tue 05-May-15 14:40:06

I barely knew him shewept, and he was really offhand with me from the word go. For no apparent reason.

PushAPushPop Tue 05-May-15 14:47:16

EmeraldThief he sounds just like the bloke I was coming on to mention.

Ex-colleague (boss's son) thought he was the dog's bollocks. Fat, sweaty, thick as shit arsehole. I'm getting angry thinking about him.

He hated the fact that us "office girls" knew the job/clients better than him and would never be told anything because his way was the right way.

He would explode and rant and go red in the face if things weren't going the way he wanted, and I witnessed him blow up spectacularly at my colleague many times. He never really had a go at me; I would genuinely have walked out if the job if he had spoken to me like he spoke to her, plus I was on very, very good terms with his dad (my boss) who was a lovely gentleman.

He used to go and visit strip clubs and the like. He loved the attention they gave him. He had pornographic calendars in his office. If you looked less than perfect at any point he would relish commenting on how rough you looked.

I f***ing hated him.

EmeraldThief Tue 05-May-15 14:50:13

Sounds remarkably similar Push.

Fat, ugly and as thick as shit. I wonder if there is a pattern forming here lol

SirChenjin Tue 05-May-15 14:51:15

No. I've met people of both sexes who don't seem to like anyone, or who don't like specific groups of people - but not men who don't like women per se.

funnyossity Tue 05-May-15 14:54:01


The ones I can think of straightaway only stop their dislike if you fit into an "acceptable" type of woman. I am acceptable and the pink, fluffy type of woman is not. (I take it the guys who like fluffy women are hating me from a distance maybe?)

I try to minimise my time with these family members.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Tue 05-May-15 14:54:08

I've known a few. My ex BIL springs to mind. My father maybe but his own mother was a Saint who Could Do No Wrong. That said he didn't go and see her in the care home for the last few years of her life.

I've known a lot of angry misogynist men through work as well. So it's not just my family grin

SolidGoldBrass Tue 05-May-15 14:59:03

A few. I have also met quite a few men who appear to like some women, but in fact don't like women at all - they simply don't percieve women as human beings, and get infuriated at women who don't behave as these men believe 'women' should. IE women should be attractive and fuckable, deferential and obedient to men and any woman who is for instance cleverer than the angry, inadequate man is A Crime Against Masculinity...

WorraLiberty Tue 05-May-15 15:01:32

I should hate him for that but I see him for the pathetic creature he is. Short, bald, middle aged and borderline obese. With a really noticeable lisp. i actually pity him.

Fat, ugly and as thick as shit. I wonder if there is a pattern forming here lol

Why don't you stick to the point of your thread?

The point being, you felt he hated women?

Bodyinpyjamas10 Tue 05-May-15 15:05:00

Yes. How bloody sad though to see a bloke like this as your dad/brother. What on earth makes men so inadequate and pathetic?

EmeraldThief Tue 05-May-15 15:09:36

He was all of those things Worra, and yet he clearly thought he as something special squeezing his epic beer gut into designer polo shirts that were several sizes to small and smothering himself in vile aftershave that smelt so pungent it could strip paint from the walls.

WorraLiberty Tue 05-May-15 15:13:55

But being Short, bald, middle aged and borderline obese isn't a crime.

Fair enough to stick to slagging him off for his behaviour and words, but no so for the rest imo.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest Tue 05-May-15 15:16:01

I've seen lots of low level misogyny but I've only met one man who truly hated women. He also hated anyone young, non-white, foreign, disabled, of a different background to him. But women he really hated the most.

I oversaw an employment case against him and it was incredibly difficult to be level headed about it and judge purely on the presented facts rather than the fact that he kept referring to the complainant as "that paki whore". When we found against him he claimed it was PC bollocks and threatened to sue for wrongful termination unless he had an all white, all male repeat case. He got it and still got fired.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest Tue 05-May-15 15:18:39

But being Short, bald, middle aged and borderline obese isn't a crime. Fair enough to stick to slagging him off for his behaviour and words, but no so for the rest imo.

I'd agree with Worra here, except he seems to be the type who'd have a go at any woman who didn't live up his "standards" even though he wasn't living up to them himself. It's hypocrisy mixed with misogyny and there's a lot around.

I mostly see it from immature teenage boys who claim they won't date anyone who isn't a Victoria's Secret model despite looking far from the male equivalent - sadly some men never grow out of it.

redexpat Tue 05-May-15 15:19:26

Yes. A lot of prison officers had a problem with my female boss, despite the fact that she was perfectly polite and acted in the same way as the men on her grade.

YaTalkinToMe Tue 05-May-15 15:26:20

No I have not, met people who hold sexist views no one that I would say hate women.

Chillyegg Tue 05-May-15 15:27:35

Yep my PE teacher at school he was awful to all the girls but especially me! ( i was the only child that came from an ethnic minority at school)
He nearly broke my ankle once at school by bashing a hockey ball and it hit my ankle. His response when my mum kicked of royally was " thats why girls shouldn't play sport"... He was really in the wrong proffession

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