Let me start off by saying I haven't given the ultimatum as the title suggests - I just thought it was the most appropriate way of titling the situation.
Me and my partner have been together 18 months. Known each other 10 years.
We have recently been discussing moving in together to a 3 bed home. I have 2 children of my own from a previous relationship - he also has 2 of whom he has overnight on a Saturday & Sunday daytime.
We struggle to see each other in the week as he works long night shifts Mon-Fri. Our relationship is progressing nicely and we are now ready to live together which in turn would help the situation of not seeing each other much. Problem is he has a dog of which I am allergic to. When I am around her I come out in hives and get watery eyes. This has been resolved in the short term by taking antihistamines. I am also not an animal lover which he is aware of but in my defence I have tried to make an effort with a dog - but it is just not for me owning a pet. This is my opinion, and I don't begrudge others feelings when it comes to pets and animals.
I cannot live with the dog. It moults alot, leaving hair on every surface/clothing/aggravates my allergy. Due to his working hours it would be my responsibility to look after it during the week with regards to feeding, walks etc and I do not want to do it. I grew up with my parents dog and it was finally a release from it when I moved into my own home. I will be looking after my children full time throughout the week and actively involved with his on the weekend, I don't want to be cleaning up after a dog too I just know I will be miserable.
I have discussed how I feel with my partner and received the response of "the dog came first and she is a family member". There is no compromise. I refuse to live with it and he refuses to give it up. I have not asked him to choose between me and the dog, I respect his wishes and have stated that I am going to have to cease the relationship as there is just no median to the situation. Our relationship is at the stage where we cannot really live apart much longer, it will just fizzle out - we both want to settle down with each other and are very much in love.
He says I am being pathetic and unreasonable, my point is that I cannot help how I feel and neither of us will budge with what we want to do regarding the situation.
I didn't mean to fall in love with a man with a dog - but I just cant live with it. AIBU to walk away from the relationship completely? As much as it hurts, I don't know what else I can do.
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
AIBU....its me or the dog.
99 replies
Dalfie · 04/05/2015 15:49
OP posts:
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