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about HV reporting me to GP

(213 Posts)
spectral Sun 03-May-15 23:45:52

I took DD to her 2-year development check last week. It was at 1pm, which I wasn't thrilled about as dd is normally asleep then and that's important work time for me, but I didn't have much faith in the possibility of rescheduling again, as we'd initially had a letter making an appointment for a date already in the past. I turned up on time with a completed copy of the development questionnaire and a very sleepy DD.

HV went through the questionnaire asking each question again, word-for-word. About five minutes in she said I seemed 'stressed' and asked why; I told her that DD really needed a sleep, that I really needed the time to work, and that I wasn't sure why I had bothered to fill out the questionnaire in advance if we were going to go through it again word-for-word. Appointment went a bit faster after that; I said that I would ask for help if I thought dd needed it, but that we had no concerns whatsoever about her development. HV agreed no concerns. DD didn't want to cooperate with being weighed and measured, but HV said she looked pretty 'in proportion' so it didn't really matter, and appointment ended by mutual agreement.

Six days later I get a phone call from DD's GP saying he's had an email from HV about me and is 'calling out of a duty of care to a child' -- so clearly not a friendly call just to check everything's ok. I told him about the conversation I had at HV appointment, explained again why I might have seemed stressed, but that that HV had not indicated to me that she might have grounds for passing anything on. I pressed him to say whether there was anything out of the ordinary going on, and he said no, and I decided to be honest with him and say that I was very unhappy (ok, I actually said furious) that HV had decided to report me to my daughter's GP.

I am utterly freaked out, though. I adore DD and do my best for her, as does DH, and I think we are doing ok. I did express a negative opinion about the way the appointment was organised, but I think that should be allowed! What on earth is going on?

TattyDevine Sun 03-May-15 23:48:35

It will probably go no further.

Just politely decline all future health visitor stuff I reckon...my kids have always done fine without it (I've never taken them up on their requests) and there's always your GP if you do have any concerns.

She's just got a hair up her arse because you possibly made her feel small (without meaning to)

proseccodd Sun 03-May-15 23:51:46

Ignore it. You've done nothing wrong. A simple personality clash or a comment about working etc has got me into trouble in the past for no reason whatsoever confused as if working makes me a bad parent
I have no time or patience for it when there are children genuinely at risk of harm. I feel we'd mostly be better off without HVs or social workers or education officers or all the bureaucratic snooping unless it's genuinely required - it won't go any further by the sounds of it, but you were right to say you weren't happy to your GP.

MyLonelyChestHair Mon 04-May-15 00:17:50

You may have come across as far more stressed than you believed you did. That may have come across as being defensive towards to whole process which is never received well. The HV then did her job of expressing her concerns based on her interpretation of your stress level. If she didn't and missed someone who was struggling, her neck would be on the line if something bad happened to a child. She has to base her opinion on those few minutes with you so its probably hard to tell who is genuinely at risk of harm.

ImNameyChangey Mon 04-May-15 00:19:03

It sounds like the HV thought you rude and has decided to take revenge! Did the GP ask to see you and DD?

hiddenhome Mon 04-May-15 00:20:36

These people have too much petty power and like throwing it around. She's just showing you who's boss.

Welshmaenad Mon 04-May-15 00:22:41

I'm a bit confused - what was the purpose of the call? What did he want to discuss?

WorraLiberty Mon 04-May-15 00:23:37

I think MyLonelyChestHair sums it up well.

It's possible that in the short time you both met, you may have come across as short tempered/stressed out/defensive.

I guess part of her job would be to pass that on to the GP, just in case you weren't coping.

BackforGood Mon 04-May-15 00:28:22

What MyLonely and Worra said.
They have a duty of care. If you seemed very stressed, and presenting as not being keen to co-operate, then she had to note that that was her perception of the appointment.

Iflyaway Mon 04-May-15 00:30:45

Don't stress about it.

They are just doing what they have to.

Could you have rescheduled the appt. to fit in with your day?

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo Mon 04-May-15 00:30:57

I feel we'd mostly be better off without HVs or social workers or education officers or all the bureaucratic snooping unless it's genuinely required

So do those that genuinely require help a lot of the time! A lot of people who are referred don't actually think they need help until a relevant professional gets involved. What a stupid statement to make! The professionals you have mentioned can often make a vast improvement in many children's lives when parents "think" they don't need intervention.

OP, if you're unhappy make an official complaint to the Practice Manager of the surgery. As you say your DC was tired and used to having a nap at the time of the appointment. It was completely pointless to go over a questionnaire that you'd already completed and a waste of time for you. She may have mistaken that you appeared stressed when you were frustrated at her asking questions you'd already answered on a form. I'd ask exactly what the GP meant by calling out of a "duty of care for a child" and on what grounds the HV asked them to call you.

madreloco Mon 04-May-15 00:36:04

hvs do not have the time to take revenge on people they consider rude, ffs, and considering just how many people are very bloody rude they would be at that all day long. It says more about you than them if you think such a thing.

They did their job. Obviously OP doesnt feel she needs any help but she obviously projected something during the meeting that indicated otherwise.

spectral Mon 04-May-15 00:40:13

I was not impressed with the HV service after DD was born, and I would have opted out of it had they not abruptly stopped coming to visit anyway. I said as much to this HV. But the fact remains that I took DD to this appointment, she is up-to-date with vaccinations etc and she gets taken to the GP if we are ever worried about her health. All that information was available to the HV.

GP hasn't asked to see us, apparently because he 'knows DH quite well' (from treating him for a longer-term thing) and therefore doesn't think it's necessary. But on the one hand I am worried about there being some kind of black mark next to my name now, and on the other, I think it's wrong that I have been reported essentially for not being satisfied and compliant.

Quite want to write to HV and GP to ask for a full explanation, but worried it might really backfire.

Caff2 Mon 04-May-15 00:44:07

They do record things. I was last treated for anxiety in 2004. When my son was admitted to hospital, on the safeguarding bit it said "maternal anxiety"

shirleybasseyslovechild Mon 04-May-15 00:45:32

OP I'd be mightily pissed of at this.
there are procedures in place to flag up kids at risk. Clearly a good thing.
But when responsible parents get dragged in to the mire , I just despair

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo Mon 04-May-15 00:45:40

Spectral. I don't see how it could backfire at all. Does your surgery have a Practice Manager you could address your queries to? You're entitled to a full and frank explanation.

shirleybasseyslovechild Mon 04-May-15 00:46:19

off

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 04-May-15 00:46:49

In January I took a deliberate over dose.

I was then informed that SS will be contacted, come may I have not had a letter or call from them.

I think it was good to contact the GP as depression can be missed.

Caff2 Mon 04-May-15 00:48:57

It didn't matter that that was in there by the way, they knew it was old info but it still came up. Didn't cause any problems though.

spectral Mon 04-May-15 00:53:56

But I don't have depression! I have a child who needs a nap and a work deadline that needs to be met! And -- like lots of other people on MN -- I have not always found the HV service to be useful. In this case they sent us an initial appointment for a date before the letter was even written. I wasn't impressed, and yes, I said so.

We do have a practice manager, but the HV clinic is based at a health centre that is separate from our surgery. So I don't know who I could ask for an explanation, other than HV and GP themselves.

spectral Mon 04-May-15 00:58:40

I also explicitly stated to HV that tired DC and significant work deadline were the only thing I was stressed about!

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 04-May-15 01:02:35

But this isn't specifically about you personally, the HV has been trained to spot markers.

It may be for everyone she suspects may be struggling only 1 may need help and support. It's not missing those parents.

FarelyKnuts Mon 04-May-15 01:15:00

So you were basically an arse to the HV because you were busy, she was trying to do her job and check if your child was doing ok, came across as stressed enough to warrant a follow up from the GP and you tell the GP you are "furious" to get a phone call to check if you and your child are doing ok?
Be glad the service is there to check if parents and children are doing ok, too many fall through the cracks as it is! It was just a phone call. Hardly worth getting so irate about surely?

whiteiris Mon 04-May-15 01:22:04

I'd be cross too, but I think it's best just to let it go now.

spectral Mon 04-May-15 01:29:26

FarelyKnuts, I was really upset to have the GP call out of the blue talking about his 'duty of care to a child', when the HV had seemingly agreed that DD was doing fine. Can you not see that that is upsetting?

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