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AIBU?

To feel sad when you see another 'gated' house

87 replies

ChiantiShire · 03/05/2015 17:55

There seem to be more and more where I live in the South of England. I also spend a lot of time in the Italian lakes region where every villa is gated. I don't blame people for having a large security gate fitted but it feels like something is being sucked out of the community that will never come back.

OP posts:

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MrsTerryPratchett · 03/05/2015 18:01

I lived in Italy and we lived in a gated community. All the teenagers knew how to circumvent the system so it wasn't even like it worked to keep the riffraff (me and my friends) out.

I think it's sad too. It sends a definite message of us and them.

JennyOnTheBlocks · 03/05/2015 18:02

oh right, tell me more about the community they are sucking the life out of, how is this noticeable? what's missing since someone put up a gate?

lostinikea · 03/05/2015 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/05/2015 18:05

Completely agree. Is there any evidence gated communities are safer ?

FairyBiker · 03/05/2015 18:06

it reminds me of the Margaret Attwood book, I can't remember the name now, it was set in the future. I think it will become more common

Carpinteria · 03/05/2015 18:06

Say what? We have gates - to keep the dogs in.

TremoloGreen · 03/05/2015 18:08

Well, I have one. So do most houses on my street in South London. Quite like the privacy. Keeps the jehovahs witnesses out.

NakedBaby · 03/05/2015 18:09

I find them very .... Elderly.

They flag up that the occupant is scared - and not entirely rational in addressing it - since i think they are more likely to block your neighbours view of a burglary than to actually deter a burglar.

ChiantiShire · 03/05/2015 18:09

It's difficult to put my finger on exactly why it makes me feel sad. I can understand why people want to do it and I don't object to it. It just gives you the feeling that there is a breakdown in trust. Maybe there are more burglaries, I don't know, but it doesn't feel positive. I live in the South East. I don't want to be more specific than that.

OP posts:

Mintyy · 03/05/2015 18:10

I agree, don't like them.

I don't like windbreaks in front of tents in campsites either.

meandjulio · 03/05/2015 18:12

I think whether or not it's intended it has quite a 'we are withdrawing' message. My PILs live in a gated cul de sac. I don't like it much but it is quiet, which I guess was their aim.

LotusLight · 03/05/2015 18:13

We specifically (private estate no gates) ensure anyone can walk up here including people with dogs and riders and horses and have chosen not to put up gates.
My house is totally open to the road which is probably why no one has ever tried to break in - no barriers to hide behind or more likely because it's full of children, old cars and nothing valuable.

Silvercatowner · 03/05/2015 18:13

Gated houses - fine. Gated estates - deeply divisive and screaming 'privilege'. If I was a burglar they'd be my first point of call.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 03/05/2015 18:15

I like them. I wouldn't have any objections if our street were to be gated. I like peace and quiet.

Kasey86 · 03/05/2015 18:15

My relatives live in a gated community in LA. They love it.
I didn't know there was any over here in the UK.

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/05/2015 18:18

I live in a small town with a very low crime rate and was amused to see that a new "executive" estate, built at the end of a lovely road of expensive, large, old houses, was marketed as being a gated development.

Always assumed that suckers who paid Â£500k+ to live there wanted to keep their richer neighbours out .

nancy75 · 03/05/2015 18:19

My parents live in a gated community, they moved there because 4 men in balaclavas crashed through their kitchen door at 6pm one evening, beat my dad and held a machete to my mums throat while they ransacked the house looking for a safe that didn't exist. You might not like them but having 24 hour security is the only thing that has allowed my mum to get any sleep in the last 2 years.

wanderings · 03/05/2015 18:20

By "gated community" do you mean a tall "Owl's Dene" gate at each house, or a road with a gated entrance leading to several large and detached houses?

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/05/2015 18:20

There's another gated, executive development on the edge of a huge, notorious council estate in a nearby larger town. Burglars get in over the garden fences, they don't bother with the gated access road.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 03/05/2015 18:22

We live in an area that has a lot of burglaries and the police recommendation is to make your home as visible as possible. No high hedges, no net curtains, etc. things that make you feel secure and private also do the same for intruders.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/05/2015 18:23

EEek Nancy, that's terrifying! your poor parents :(

I totally understand the need for gated (security, rather than just ordinary gates) houses but don't get your sadness OP. I do feel a bit more "hmm" about gated estates - and yes, I lived in the SE of England in a nice leafy bit, there were a few within easy reach - because they are mostly for the very wealthy, but then they don't want to be burgled any more than the next person, so why not if you can afford it?

I've been burgled 3 times - it sucks. Luckily I was never in, and luckily they only robbed the place, didn't trash it as well (as can often happen).

shewept · 03/05/2015 18:24

My mum has big gates.....to stop door to door sellers, charity collectors, people wanting to discuss politics or religion from knocking. Because she use to get at least one a day.

Now she gets none. Nothing to do with lack of trust of other people. And all other people I know do it because of their dogs.

Yabu because you have no idea why people are doing it. You assume you know.

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DinosaursRoar · 03/05/2015 18:26

Hmm, I can see where you are coming from, but these houses you are seeing, are they on busy roads? I have friends who have put gates up, but it's really so they can let their younger DCs play in the front gardens without feeling the need to monitor them as much - we live on a very quiet road, so children playing on the pavement is ok.

For a lot of people they aren't just about keeping people out, but small children and animals in. (and stopping cheeky feckers using other people's drives to turn round)

Fleecyleesy · 03/05/2015 18:27

I would be so happy if I could gate my house and minuscule front garden (it's about 6ft).

Yes, very much "us and them" since "them" are people who think it's ok when walking their dog to let it shit in my front garden and not clear it up and "us" are normal people who actually behave. Yabvu and clearly haven't experienced antisocial behaviour if you can't see why people put gates up.

AuntieDee · 03/05/2015 18:29

It's traditional. What I hate is all these unwalled new builds where you have to look at everyone else's messy gardens. It's so impersonal too...

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