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AIBU?

About the dishwasher?

31 replies

Sahkoora · 30/04/2015 13:25

To cut a long story short, DH has said he doesn't want me putting pots/pans/oven dishes etc in the dishwasher any more.

He thinks the grease from them stops the dishwasher from working properly as it clogs up the grease trap, meaning he has to take it apart a bit and clean it all out. This is a job that took him about half an hour, and in the two years we have owned our dishwasher, he's had to do it twice.

But to prevent this hardship, I now have to wash them all up by hand, every day.

Was IBU to suggest he do this washing up in the evenings while I do the kids' bedtime? I made this suggestion and then left the pots and pans for him after loading the dishwasher. They were summarily ignored for 3 days so he could go out with friends/go for a run/watch the snooker in the evening. In the end I put them in the dishwasher anyway.

He works hard at a physical job, and I am a SAHM, so I do the lion's share of the housework, but I have 2 kids with SN and a 6 month old baby, which is a 24/7 job at the moment. I really do hate washing up though, so I might have lost perspective on this a bit!

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AuntieStella · 30/04/2015 13:27

How about carrying on using the machine, and tell him you'll check and clean the grease trap frequently?

ZacharyQuack · 30/04/2015 13:30

Why don't you learn how to clean the grease trap and then it's not his problem any more?

Or just the greasy pans a good rinse in hot water before you put them in the dishwasher?

Harleyjosh · 30/04/2015 13:38

Sakorra - with two kids with SN and a 6 month old baby I am amazed you did not hit him over the head with each of those pots/pans and oven dishes when he suggested this to you.
Put them in the dishwasher and do every other thing you can possibly do to make your life easier at the moment.
Sending you positive vibes.

MissMooMoo · 30/04/2015 13:39

you can WASH the dishwasher you know. Run it on a hot cycle empty with product made especially for this.
yanbu, I put everything in the dishwasher, thats what its for.

popalot · 30/04/2015 13:50

Ignore him and carry on as you were. If he can't be arsed to wash them up, why should you? You might even suggest that he loads the dishwasher every other night too.

Notyouagaintoday · 30/04/2015 13:55

Hibvu. But so r u abit. Clean it yourself. Problem solved, it's so easy I don't know why he needs to tbh.

RhiWrites · 30/04/2015 13:56

The pans are a shared job as is the grease trap. Take it in turns to clean the trap. No way should you have hours of additional work so he can avoid a slightly unpleasant task.

zfactor · 30/04/2015 14:09

On my machine, cleaning the grease trap takes about 5 minutes if done regularly (but not that regularly - every couple of months or so - I remind myself to do it by doing it whenever I top the salt up). I also use a dishwasher cleaner, which you simply put in the empty machine and then run on a hot wash, after I've cleaned the grease trap.

It sounds as if your DH has made the job out to be far more difficult than it really is; the bits that you need to take out are designed to be easily taken out and slotted back in again, and cleaning the muck off them is considerably easier than scrubbing pans every day.

So no YANBU, but your DH most definitely is.

AuntieStella · 30/04/2015 14:10

Oh, yes, I should have added that if you take on a chore he dislikes, you should shed one you don't like in his direction. Fair exchange, and all that.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 30/04/2015 14:25

Pans are the worst bit of washing up so no way would I have a dishwasher if I wasn't putting pans in it. Just put the wash cycle on occasionally, surely?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 30/04/2015 14:28

We always wash pans by hand & use the dishwasher for crockery & cutlery.

If we put the pans in it we wouldn't have room for half the other stuff!

OnlyLovers · 30/04/2015 14:33

Why did you have to do the washing up?

If he wants things done a particular way he can do them himself. It's his house/dishwasher/pots and pans too.

AmyElliotDunne · 30/04/2015 14:47

I'm with Harley on this - "Put them in the dishwasher and do every other thing you can possibly do to make your life easier at the moment."

YANBU to want to make the washing up as easy as it can be with everything else you have going on. Nobody ever won a prize for doing washing up.

My XH used to insist that all 'outsize baggage' (big dishes, pans etc) were washed by hand to save filling up the dishwasher and having to put it on more often (costing a whopping 14p per dishwasher tablet ).

Consequently, we always had a pile of unwashed pots and big dishes waiting to be washed by me . It also meant that all of the glasses/cutlery ended up in there too and we'd run out of everything by the time it was full enough to go on and had to start getting things out and hand-washing them before dinner!

Now it's just me, I put everything in there, even if the dirtier stuff doesn't get totally clean, it isn't sitting around making a mess and it gets a good soak so it's easier to clean afterwards. It does mean that my dishwasher needs a clean a bit more often and I am paying more for salt/tablets/water/heating but if I cost my time at minimum wage it's still more efficient than me washing up!

I agree that his half hour job every year or so doesn't outweigh your convenience every single day. Good for you for leaving them for him to do and then putting them in the DW anyway

Sadit · 30/04/2015 16:59

Say ok but I will leave them to the morning then in the morning stocks them in the dishwasher and watch loose women/jezza/judge etc

Sadit · 30/04/2015 17:00

In other words, lie.

MagelanicClouds · 30/04/2015 17:06

DH has a list of things he would rather I washed by hand.
I try not to use most of them if I can. More often than not if they do get used then they end up getting dishwashed anyway as they've sat on the side waiting for someone to 'get around to it.'
I dishwasher all my pans, they're stainless steel so it's OK. If yours are aluminium then that might be why he'd rather they were done by hand as aluminium can get damaged. If they're not then he's being a fusspot.
Either way if he wants them done by hand he should do it himself.

ChocolateCherry · 30/04/2015 17:07

Grease trap? Sorry to be dense, is that the same as the filter or something else?

Anyway, it's a dishwasher fgs. It's supposed to make life easier by washing up. Just do whatever is needed to keep the thing working as it should.

SleepRefugee · 30/04/2015 17:21

Women can clean dishwasher filters, you know. I do it regularly myself.

ChocolateCherry · 30/04/2015 17:26

I do the filters quite regularly, more like every couple of weeks rather than once a year though.

But is a grease trap a different thing? I'm worried I've missed something.

Gawd if the dishwasher packs up I'm leaving home.

bloodyteenagers · 30/04/2015 17:33

That bit underneath the food waste bit?
Half an hour?
He's taking the piss.
It's a maximum 5 minute job.

In a bowl have hot soapy water. Take out the food waste bit. Chuck the food into the bin. Put the food waste thing into water. Get the other trap. Chuck into the water. Swish around in the water until clean. Put back in dishwasher and run an empty hot wash to clean.. Ok the dishwasher cleaning itself takes longer, but regardless of what get chucked in it, still needs doing

WaxyBean · 30/04/2015 17:41

Grease trap - what's that? Just run your empty dishwasher on the hottest cycle with a dishwasher cleaning product once a month. Works for me!

chocolateyay · 30/04/2015 17:44

There's a grease trap? Well I never...

I've been using our current machine for 13 years for everything and its still absolutely fine. Its only had a wobble when a piece of plastic got wedged in a pipe, and when a blocked sink made it flood. I (polishes halo) fixed it myself both times.

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EuphemiaCoxton · 30/04/2015 17:49

I didn't realise they had a grease trap!
Just chuck it all in. If he wants it doing by hand he has two of which and knows where the sink is.

Dh tried the 'it's cheaper to wash bigger items by hand' I told him to knock himself out. It either gets washed up by him or dishwashered perhaps multiple times by me.

It gets dishwashered. I bought a dishwasher so I didn't have to wash up. End of.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 30/04/2015 17:51

ypu kidding me? Cleaning the grease trap takes half an hour?

EdithWeston · 30/04/2015 17:52

Question: I have a machine with a cutlery tray, not a basket.

Are there cleaning products that don't have to be put upright in a basket?

(sorry for hijack, but there seem to be a number of people ho know about dishwasher cleaning opening this thread)

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