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to be annoyed!!

(25 Posts)
katiebrusby Mon 20-Apr-15 18:36:43

I'm a bigger girl, not huge (14-16) but bigger, i like my food, i also take steroids due to an illness aswell as being on the pill and antidepressants, all of which have weight gain as a side effect and i have coeliac disease so when i am on a gluten free diet i also gain weight easily as my body is gaining the right nutrients.

A so called friend took it upon herself recently to tell me that people who arent under a size 10 are that size purely because of their own ignorance and laziness and that maybe they should 'stop eating so much'

Seriously?!?!!? Even if i stoppped eating altogether i would still never be a size 8 again because my body just isnt used to that and my medication more than likely wouldnt allow it, it would make me physically ill!!

i also have friends who barely eat anything, everything they do eat is home cooked and healthy, exercise 3 times a week and cycle 3 miles every day and theyre still a size 14!! how is that their own fault!!!

I know this is just a bit of a rant really but it really annoyed me and i wanted to see if i was the only person who had this opinion!

flora717 Mon 20-Apr-15 18:41:00

I think quite a few people would be greater than a size 10 when on a healthy weight range for their height. Certainly I dip into underweight when a size 10. I'm not especially tall.

RachelWatts Mon 20-Apr-15 18:41:02

I'm a size 16-18 because I like food more than I like being slim.

My size and the way I look is no-one's business but mine, and if anyone tried to tell me their opinion on it I would tell them I wasn't interested.

mindexplode Mon 20-Apr-15 18:46:55

I was a size ten

then illness meaning I am back on the pill and having a high salt diet means I am closer to a size 12 despite being more food aware

sometimes its not just laziness

Mrsstarlord Mon 20-Apr-15 18:48:33

Knickers to her. She's obviously not terribly bright.

Love your user name btw

SmallPrawn Mon 20-Apr-15 18:50:29

She's being really ignorant and judgemental. I honestly wouldn't want to be a size 8, I think I look childlike when I am very skinny.

ArseForElbow Mon 20-Apr-15 18:51:17

I look quite unwell when a size 10, my meds have made me eat more so now I am a 12/14 I don't think if I ate less I would be any smaller now.

holeinmyheart Mon 20-Apr-15 18:52:37

First of all anyone who is a friend should not be being mean to you or saying stuff to be making you unhappy. That's what we have enemies for, isn't it.?

Ditch the so called friend, or if you want to continue the friendship, then I would tell her how hurt you feel by her comments, and if she wants to continue as your friend, she needs to stop hurting you.

However, to be honest I can't really agree with the next part of your post that begins ' I also have friends who barely eat anything, everything they eat etc. etc...
All the people I know who barely eat, exercise frequently etc, are all thin. (sighs)
I saw one today, head down, goggles on, off on yet another 35 mile bike ride. I am sure I saw a smug look on her face as she passed me.

Eating too much food makes people fat, end of.

Yes there are some rare conditions that make you put on weight, but if you went to a clinic you would see people with exactly the same illness, some would be fat and some would be thin. Sorry.

Anyway, you are not large at all and your friend is mean. Sorry that you have a long term problem. Xxx

katiebrusby Mon 20-Apr-15 19:04:59

i look at photos of myself as a size 10 now and i think i look far too skinny! this is me as a size 8-10 and me as i am now... yes maybe i could lose a couple of pounds now as my double chin annoys me but i certainly wouldnt want to be that skinny again!

katiebrusby Mon 20-Apr-15 19:12:24

holeinmyheart i dont agree with that at all, one of said friends that is bigger did slimming world 2 yrs ago, lost 3 stone but still stayed a size 12-14! some people are naturally bigger. fair enough this friend does have boobs and a bum which may be the reason where as the person who made the comments doesnt really have boobs or a bum but i do think its possible to have a really healthy diet and still be bigger

PeachyPants Mon 20-Apr-15 19:16:49

Life is too short to have friends like that.

FishCanFly Mon 20-Apr-15 19:18:15

What a cow

Fluffyears Mon 20-Apr-15 19:18:28

I am 5'9'' and have wide shoulders and hips, as a size ten I was underweight according to my bmi.

TwoOddSocks Mon 20-Apr-15 19:25:22

YANBU. I was always naturally fairly slim (size 8-10) without making any effort, I think the main reason is because I'm lucky enough that my appetite naturally regulates my weight. From the research I've read other people have an appetite that naturally encourages them to eat slightly more than they need. This means they need incredible will power to maintain a healthy BMI When you're hungry you naturally crave higher calorie foods and it takes massive will power to eat less than your body is telling you to.
This was an evolutionary advantage at times when food was scarce and you needed to feast when food was available to make stores for later.

That's before you take into account other factors like PCOS, thyroid issues, disabilities that prevent exercise, medications that cause weight gain etc etc etc.

Although actually I don't think any of that matters. Someone else's body and health is none of my business. People wouldn't dare criticise other aspects of people's health in the way they do to overweight people.

holeinmyheart Sat 02-May-15 21:47:19

Well the reason that fat people are open to critism is that their state DOES affect the rest of us. I am not talking a little bit plump here. I am talking very overweight.
Being very overweight, like smoking and drinking to excess impacts on people's health. They are less mobile, fat collects around their vital organs and inevitably they start to be ill.
This then has a knock on effect on the NHS and benefits if they can't work or are suffering from depression.
So to say that it is no one elses business if I make myself ill is not quite true.
There is an epidemic of obesity in the UK. This is almost wholly due to over eating.
I discussed this thread with one of my DCs who is in A&E. I asked her about illnesses that make you fat and she said that some people with the same illnesses can be fat or thin. She said overwhelmingly it is eating too much that makes you fat.
It doesn't please me to hear this as I struggle.
The OP Katie looks pretty good to me.

ShadowFire Sat 02-May-15 22:09:57

holeinmyheart - while I agree that very obese people and their health problems do have an impact on the NHS and so on, the OP here is a size 14 - 16. That's a very long way off being morbidly obese.

The OP is also on medication that has weight gain as a side effect. Saying that some people on the same medication or with the same health problem manage to stay slim doesn't change the fact that it's going to be a lot harder for the OP to stay slim than it is for someone without the OP's health problems.

holeinmyheart Sun 03-May-15 01:03:26

shadow did you read all of the replies? I wasn't referring to the post in fact I thought she looked pretty good. She's not obese.
Staying slim is hard .. Period.
I am not fat but I am not thin thin either. I have a sibling that is obese and another who is borderline obese. I could easily be like them as I have the same genes.
However I just button it. I force myself to exercise and I just try my dam nest not to over eat. It is very hard for me as I love cakes and all sweet things. I love Merlot and Baileys and chocolate but I want to stay healthy. So I Deny myself.
I wish someone would invent a pill that would melt away fat overnight.
Generally and in most cases over eating is responsible for obesity. It is in only a few cases that it can be blamed on illness.
I can blame my sizes 12/ 14 on my age, on my genes, my metabolic rate etc, but I know I eat too much.

Aussiemum78 Sun 03-May-15 01:14:21

Bullocks. Size isn't all about weight. Some women are tall, have a bigger bust, broad shoulders and are in a bigger size because they are bigger!

Take a good look at an Olympic athlete because many of them would burst out of size 10. And they aren't fat. An Olympic biker or skier would be in larger pants due to muscle mass. A swimmer would have much larger shoulders. A gymnast would be tiny in comparison.

Compare the size of women from different countries. Genetics play a part. A Japanese woman is on average much smaller than a Fijian woman. Different body types completely.

Aussiemum78 Sun 03-May-15 01:16:44

At my best, if I'm very fit and lean I'm a 12. I have tall, have wider shoulders, very muscly legs, and a bigger bust. My skeleton would say no to a 10.

HopOnTheMonnerBus Sun 03-May-15 01:31:22

My ideal weight for my height would put me between 7st something and 10st. (Can't remember exactly)
At my slimmest I was about 9st. Since having kids my weight has fluctuated between 9st 10 and 12st 6.

Despite being short and slim across my back and shoulders, I have large hips which really jut out and are uncomfortable if my weight falls below 10st. It might not be ideal bmi but for me to feel comfortable in my skin I need a bit of meat over my weird hip bones.

The smallest size I'd be comfortable at is 12. My hips would look bloody awful if I was a size 8.

SorchaN Sun 03-May-15 05:39:39

Staying slim is hard .. Period.
And virtually impossible with some health conditions in which people are absolutely unable to exercise as much as those who are healthy. But these conditions are usually invisible, and considerably less rare than commonly supposed. So I guess there will always be people who proclaim their own virtuousness while utterly failing to understand the very real difficulties experienced by thousands of people who would love to be healthier but unfortunately aren't.

holeinmyheart Sun 03-May-15 09:21:24

Ok, Ok, so the majority of Fat people have an hidden illness ? ( where is the evidence for this wide spread hidden illness SorchaN, that leaves people fat? It's not in the BMJ magazine)
So there isn't an epidemic of Obesity in the UK?
My DCs who work in A&E and surgeries as Drs don't see Obesity related problems, they are imagining them.
Overeating has nothing to do with getting Fat?

I am very sorry for those people who are ill and can't exercise but GENERALLY people get Fat because they eat too much.

I eat too much and it makes me over weight. All the people I know personally, so we are talking about Primary research here, and are over weight, admit to eating too much.

But they are delusional and are actually suffering from a hidden illness, gene problems, anything, except eating too much. Good grief.

I am NOT saying that there are not exceptions. But you only have to sit on a prom at the seaside, to see the problem. They can't all be suffering from a hidden illness, can they?
Apparently during the war and afterwards, because rationing didn't cease until the 1950's, the health of the population of of the UK dramatically improved.
Where was this illness in 1945
I have photos of my Mother and a whole group of around 30 other young Mothers from 1945 and their children, and they are all slimmish.

My mother and my MIl had thyroid problems and my Mother was plump and my MIL was slim. My Mother loved stuffing her face and taking very little exercise and my MIL watched what she eat and exercised regularly. She has been on Drugs for her Thyroid problem since she was 15.

I am sorry, as I am far from thin. I wish food didn't make you fat as I love it, but GENERALLY, overeating makes you fat.

Aussiemum78 Sun 03-May-15 13:18:52

No shit. Eating too much will make you fat, no one disputes that.

Doesn't mean every person at a healthy weight will be a size 10, which is what the OPs friend said.

Also doesn't mean a skinny person won't have High blood pressure and cholesterol and eat poorly.

My sister and I were raised on an identical diet. She is rail thin, I am not. It's just not as simple as eating a certain amount and everyone will be a size 10.

madreloco Sun 03-May-15 15:24:40

Those pics above which are supposedly "far too skinny"..they aren't at all.

Sizes are not the point, they are different depending on where you shop anyway, but it is a fact that our perception of what is healthy and a good weight/size has got skewed. We think healthily slim is "too skinny" and what we see as normal is often actually overweight.

blushingbooty Sun 03-May-15 20:18:22

You look great in all your pictures OP, loving the red dress!

Just ignore her, she sounds very opinionated and probably of the belief that her opinion = fact.

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