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Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

(552 Posts)
Unplastered Sun 29-Mar-15 14:36:36

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

Hamsolo Sun 29-Mar-15 14:41:35

No, I don't think so. It's an accessible toilet, and you needed an accessible toilet.

Rivercam Sun 29-Mar-15 14:41:47

Do be honest, I probably would have done the same!

Also, how does she know you are not disabled? Just because you are not in a wheelchair, doesn't mean you don't have disability issues. She wasn't queuing so you didn't inconvenience anyone.

Chillyegg Sun 29-Mar-15 14:42:56

I think yanbu if no one was waiting and it makes sense for you to all want to go in together.
The women is she was waiting then maybe she could of been polite about it, but she was wrong to automatically judge you on wether you were disabled or not. Not all disabilities are visible after all.

Biscetti Sun 29-Mar-15 14:45:32

Of course you weren't. Though I'm sure there will be plenty who will claim you were. <sigh>

SauvignonBlanche Sun 29-Mar-15 14:45:45

YWBVU, if neither you or your DD have a disability.
You did not need an accessible loo, just a modicum of patience.

pudcat Sun 29-Mar-15 14:46:42

What a rude lady. Not all people using a crutch need to use a loo for the disabled either. Take no notice.

WorraLiberty Sun 29-Mar-15 14:47:00

Where the fuck are all these people in real life who get into arguments about someone having a quick pee in loos for the disabled?

MN seems to be full of them. It's like a parallel universe.

Just forget about it OP. For all she knows you could have had a chronic bowel condition.

kali110 Sun 29-Mar-15 14:47:35

Hate the fact she didnt know whether you have disabilitirs or not!!!
I look very young and healthy.
I use disabled loos a lot as a lot near me as they are lower which make it easier on my lower half and easier as i sometimes i can't get up lol
I get so many dirty looks that i rarely use them now even though im entitled too.
Same when i go on public transport

orangefusion Sun 29-Mar-15 14:47:44

If all loos were accessible this issue wouldn't arise.

ChipDip Sun 29-Mar-15 14:48:41

YY worra
In rl I have yet to see this happen or for this to even be an issue.

pudcat Sun 29-Mar-15 14:49:18

But OP did need an accessible loo. If she had left her baby or daughter outside I bet a lot of posters would say that was wrong and putting her children at risk.

NerrSnerr Sun 29-Mar-15 14:50:38

YANBU. It can be tough to find somewhere to wee when you have a baby in a pram.

hazeyjane Sun 29-Mar-15 14:50:41

Yes, ywbu, you could have used one of the other toilets, and you aren't disabled.

yes, yes you could have a bowel condition etc, and the woman with the crutch should have borne that in mind, but you are asking our opinions, and we know you that you don't have a disability, which is what i am basing my opinion on

(blimey that was a mouthful!)

stardusty5 Sun 29-Mar-15 14:51:11

YANBU. Disabled toilets are modified to make them accessible, but i do not see why they should have to be kept free at all times. Is it better that an able bodied person or child should wet themselves out of respect?!

FireCanal Sun 29-Mar-15 14:51:26

A large pack of people will be along shortly to tell you that YABU.

Back in the real world, however, of course its fine. The only ones you are not meant to use are the locked ones. Which is really just common sense.

Welshmaenad Sun 29-Mar-15 14:53:30

There have been times when we've been out with dd in her wheelchair and, unable to access another cubicle, she has wet herself waiting for some mum plus children to all have a wee in the disabled loo, have a nice soapy hand wash in turn, dry their hands, faff about, pick up bags, gather children in an orderly line, etc.

No good reason why you and a six year old couldn't use regular cubicle, you may not gave inconvenienced anyone, but then again you might have done. So yes, YABU. People with disabilities don't have a choice.

HappinessHappening Sun 29-Mar-15 14:53:43


the woman was also being unreasonable to have said anything to you, she had no right to. But no of course you shouldn't use the disabled loo if neither you nor your children are disabled

ragged Sun 29-Mar-15 14:54:11

Why is patience a factor in not wanting to leave her baby outside?

I would have used a loo that no one else needed with a very clear conscience, OP.

pudcat Sun 29-Mar-15 14:54:29

Perhaps the posters who think YABU can explain or demonstrate how you get all 3 of you and pram in a small cubicle.

theendoftheendoftheend Sun 29-Mar-15 14:54:41

Ywnbu as others have said. And I'm not sure how a 'modicum of patience' would have helped your situation either? confused

RosesAreMyFavourite Sun 29-Mar-15 14:55:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShadowStone Sun 29-Mar-15 14:55:37

If the normal cubicles were big enough for this, I would probably have taken the older child into the normal cubicle for her to use the loo, and then got her to stand outside with the pram while I used the loo. I normally ask DS1 to sing a song or keep talking so I can hear he's staying there.

It's worth remembering that even if the toilets are quiet, if there's only 1 disabled loo, then using it when you can manage without can potentially cause serious and avoidable inconvenience for a disabled person coming into the toilets just as you've closed the cubicle door behind you.

Welshmaenad Sun 29-Mar-15 14:56:20

Use regular cubicle one at a time, person not peeing stands with baby. At six I'm quite sure the dd can be on the other side of a toilet door from her mother for thirty seconds?

hazeyjane Sun 29-Mar-15 14:58:35

No you were being inclusive. - How?

You can take all the children in with you (yes baby too!)

You can leave the baby outside in the ram with door ajar

You can ask someone to keep an eye on the baby

You could ask your dd to keep an eye on the baby

What would people do if there was no disabled toilet there? Do this!

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