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To be so upset that I've failed my driving test AGAIN!!!

(185 Posts)
Lottie10000 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:05:16

I'm so so upset.
I've got young children and it would make our lives so much easier.
I've been practising for a year, have taken well over 60 hours of lessons, mock tests all go brilliantly well and then I fail the real test.
I can't keep paying out for these tests as well as the instructors time but we have an automatic yet thought best to learn manual in case I ever need to change although after this last awful test today I'm thinking of buying the manual first so I can at least not have to pay the instructor again.
The first test was last month and just awful, I was so nervous , the instructor didn't talk at all, my nerves were shot to pieces with him and I missed a mini roundabout completely, bumped the kerb doing a turn in the road and then forgot to do the blind spot check as we pulled off so 3 majors ( no bloody minors! )
Today I got the guy who passes everyone my instructor said, he was lovely, chatted the whole way, I thought it had gone brilliantly and then he said id failed!
3 minors for gears and 1 major.
The major was for after doing my emergency stop, even though I checked all around me, in the distance was another car and I should have waited for them to go .
Just feel really shit that at 36 I'm finding this so fucking hard.
Passed the theory first time with 2 wrong answers.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.

ilovesooty Thu 26-Feb-15 16:08:28

You've only failed twice. Keep going-you'll get there

FenellaFellorick Thu 26-Feb-15 16:08:49

Switch to automatic. Why are you torturing yourself? grin

I have an automatic only licence. It's fine. mine is because I need hand controls but even if I didn't I'd still drive an automatic

Look at it this way. You own an automatic. When you pass your test that's what you'll be driving. Why put yourself through this in a manual when you won't even be driving one?

When you have passed your test you can drive your automatic and your life will be easier.

If, at some point in the future, you want to take a test in a manual - you can. But the pressure will be off because you will already be a driver. Plus you'll be experienced, you'll be more confident.

Switch to an automatic. It's really not worth all this, is it?

also consider changing instructors.

Buddy80 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:09:05

Many people pass on their 3rd attempt or further attempts - honest! I sympathise as it is so frustrating when you fail. It sounds like this last test was much better than the first test, I am sure you will pass next time. Don't give up!

iwantavuvezela Thu 26-Feb-15 16:11:40

Took me three times. My DH, who had to renew his drivers Liscence here (and has driven for almost 20 years) managed to fail!
Take heart, you will get it.
Good luck with your next test

FarFromAnyRoad Thu 26-Feb-15 16:12:08

Really honestly switch to automatic. Best thing I ever did - after 3 fails! There has been no negative to it either - I have never been in a position where I couldn't drive because I only do automatic. Stop torturing yourself!

maz210 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:13:02

I took three attempts to pass too, driving just didn't come naturally to me at all. It took me 15 months and a small fortune to pass.

My husband however is one of those natural drivers, however he managed to fail his first test for speeding and jumping a red light! He jokes that he thought he'd start as he meant to go on.

You'll get the in the end, don't give up. If you're having trouble with the gears I would second just going automatic only, it means you'll be able to concentrate more on the other aspects of driving.

Charlotte3333 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:13:15

Oh it's such a horrid feeling failing your test. I failed my first two and went bezerk the second time, shouting down the phone to DH that I was going to set fire to the effing car on our driveway.

I didn't. And I passed. But I maintain that nerves played a huge part in me failing, the third time I couldn't give a shit and passed with flying colours. I'd recommend going to an automatic, and work on your calmness; if meditation might help, try it. Honestly, though, don't beat yourself up over it. The best people always fail a few times before being awesome!

HolgerDanske Thu 26-Feb-15 16:14:21

flowers I know it feels horrible. I only learned a year ago and I found it very very hard. Mainly due to nerves as I hate exam situations. I knew I was a good driver but I just got so stressed. I passed on my second go (sorry) but next time, when you do pass, it'll only have taken one more go than I did. That's not so bad smile And I'm 38!

But, actually all it means is you need to be extra aware of your gears next time. The other point was probably just due to nerves.

Did you eat a banana before the test? That really helps (unless you hate them, of course!)

I just approached it as going out for a drive, and that worked very well for me. Before that I was too caught up with perfection but when I switched it in my mind and thought, no, they want me to pass, they are just making sure I'm a safe driver - and I knew I was, by that stage - I was able to relax.

Book your next test straightaway. Don't waste time on more lessons, just one or two refreshers before the next test. You can do it!

spingley Thu 26-Feb-15 16:16:16

Don't be too hard on yourself! I failed twice (the second time so badly I asked the driving instructor if he'd be better off taking over as I had clearly not passed), and I passed third time with no minors.

Could you try changing the test centre? It might be that having a new environment helps.

I actually think that what helped me the most was that I'd completely given up hope! I had no nerves because I didn't think there was any chance that I would ever pass.

Failing can be so disheartening, but just remember that when you pass, that's it. You've got your license for life (hopefully) and you never have to take a test again.

geekymommy Thu 26-Feb-15 16:16:22

I can't drive a manual. This has not been a problem in 17 years of driving. Are they really that much more common on your side of the pond?

Nolim Thu 26-Feb-15 16:17:19

It took me four attempts and i have years of experience and drivers licenses from 2 other countries!

Keep trying. It will be worth it.

Luciferbox Thu 26-Feb-15 16:17:21

Most people I know past on their third go. Fingers crossed for you. Nerves are horrid.

heatseeker14 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:18:23

I passed third time round after I started to think I couldn't do it due to nerves. I failed on my emergency stop the second time, my leg was shaking with nerves & it just jammed the break hard. I also had no minor faults but I found doing emergency stops during a test nerve racking. Keep trying good luck for next time.

Astrid28 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:18:56

It took me 5 attempts! I clearly remember feeling like you do now.

In the end I took the advice of someone on here actually and went to the doctor and told them I was panicking in my driving test and asked if there was anything I could take to calm my nerves. She prescribed beta blockers - I have no idea if it was them, but if not the placebo effect was enough and I passed!

ButEmilylovedhim Thu 26-Feb-15 16:19:39

It sounds like you're so close! Keep going! The first test you were really nervous and you still got no minors! The second one was a bit of bad luck. The third go might be the one! I passed at 34 and if I can do it, you certainly can. It is definitely meant to be! Have a little break and book another test. Sending a hug 'cos I know what it's like.

TheCraicDealer Thu 26-Feb-15 16:19:47

It took me six times. Yes, six. After five unsuccessful attempts I changed test centres/routes and something just clicked. You will do it.

I would get a manual because you can get additional (free) practice when out with your partner or friends who drive, you'll feel more comfortable in the car and it'll cost less because you won't need to do it in your instructor's care (or get the usual "practice" lesson before- the test is the cheap bit!).

Automatics cost more to buy new or second hand and there's less choice in the second hand market, especially if you're looking a smaller car just for your personal use. For me I'd rather stick with it and get the manual licence now. You've learnt how to do it, you just need to transfer the knowledge into a successful test. And I doubt if you do the automatic test now you'll be wanting to do it all over again to get your manual!

DeeWe Thu 26-Feb-15 16:21:54

Sounds bizarre to complain about the emergency stop. I mean if you do an emergency stop then it is an emergency. So you don't not do it because there's a car in the distance... nor can you wait and do it 500 yards down the road.

And in my memory, the emergency stop should be done by the instructor saying "now" and you check mirrors and stop. If it wasn't an approrpriate timeto do one, then I don't think the instructor should have asked you to do one.

SweetValentine Thu 26-Feb-15 16:21:59

Keep to your manual, you were only a smidgen away from passing today flowers

My DH who is an excellent driver failed 3 times not that i dig him about that oh no

PeasinPod1 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:23:48

I passed 3rd time, know how frustrating this but don't give up!! All the best pass the 3rd time smile

Keep going, you will do it and be SO ecstatic when you pass.

DeeWe Thu 26-Feb-15 16:24:21

Oh. Sorry, I read your OP wrong, I assume it was restarting, not actually doing the emergency stop. Sorry.

I failed the first time because I forgot to turn my indicator off after restarting. I was concentrating hard as there was a very wobbly child on a bike who was squiggling over the road, so I was concentrating hard on that rather than turning my indicator off. I still maintain that I was right to do so. grin

rebus1 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:25:44

Don't worry I passed on my 7th try! I suffered really badly from rest nerves. I didn't have a car to practise in so it a fortune.

What really helped me was a tape (it was 15 years ago!) I found called ''Pass your driving test through self hypnosis' or something similar. Really helped me to feel more calm and in control.

U2TheEdge Thu 26-Feb-15 16:27:09

I passed on my fourth time! I think I passed because I had just got a new instructor a few days before and had only driven the car once before.

I was so sure I would fail that I did the test really calmly not really caring and I passed with only one minor.

You WILL pass. I remember crying when failing but you will do it.

If it takes a while for you to book a test I got a cancellation programme for about £10 that texted me the minute someone cancelled and I just had to message back 'reply' and they booked it. You have to wait 14 days I think it is between tests but the programme got me tests weeks before I managed to get them.

thatstoast Thu 26-Feb-15 16:28:28

I can't drive a manual. This has not been a problem in 17 years of driving. Are they really that much more common on your side of the pond?

Manual cars are certainly the default option in the uk. I would suggest the op sticks with it.

If you're not aware of mini roundabouts etc then switching to automatic wouldn't really help. Do 90 minutes or 2 hour lessons for a month or two before a test. It'll really make a difference.

Lottie10000 Thu 26-Feb-15 16:29:59

Our automatic is a big old 2.2 litre that we can't keep when I'm driving as school trips will cost a fortune.
I'm beating myself up for not just buying the manual 6 months ago instead of wasting all this money on lessons and being accompanied on tests :-(
I think we will buy the small manual over the weekend and I will take my next test on my own in what will be my car.
My hubby will have to drive me there hang around with the baby and child ( will it matter if car seats are in the back of the car?? ) and pick me up so will be a bit annoying but far better than paying all this money that I don't feel I need to.
The gears have never been a problem before, so I think that will be fine it's just so upsetting because I really thought I had done it.

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