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Following on from sexy fireman/ fake profile/stalking thread. What are your cringeworthy dating/ stalking stories?

(27 Posts)
Mermaidhair Wed 18-Feb-15 11:20:13

Ok, I put it out there about my, almost, super psycho/stalker moment. What are yours? Or near misses? I will retell my friends moments to start.
Friend having sex with exbf while he is repartnered. Said friend keeps a detailed log of these occurrences, think date,times, what exbf was wearing, what was in the house etc. after 12 months of record keeping, friend presents log to exbf new girlfriend as they were getting into car ready for across country move. Anyone have anything better? Please

Mousefinkle Wed 18-Feb-15 11:40:53

I thought a guy that worked in a store I frequently shopped in fancied me so after a couple of months of what I thought were flirty glances and chats I decided to give him my number. He did text me, we chatted for a bit and went on a date after a couple of weeks. Weirdest date I've ever been on, he kept randomly shouting names at people and singing Barry Manilow songs vairy loud. Worst still he had 'forgotten' his wallet so I had to pay for the bloody drinks all night! Needless to say I didn't want to see him again but he text me all apologetically and my friends said I should be fair and give him a second chance so I reluctantly did only for him to ditch me a few days later saying he wasn't really into me... I was most embarrassed that he'd got there first tbh.

I had a massive crush on a teacher at school that didn't even teach me. I only saw him on school corridors and swore he kept glancing at me blush. So obviously I sent him a Valentine's day card which I'd sprayed with my body spray and stupidly signed with my name, I got into hot water for that. I was so 'in love' with him I even stole a photo of him off the wall and had it stuck on the wall next to my bed. I was such a psycho creepy 12 year old grin.

I was terrible at online dating so don't even get me started...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 18-Feb-15 11:42:35

Anything better? Your friend is a bit of a bitch, isn't she? The ex-boyfriend is a louse and so is she. Urgh

SoonToBeMrsB Wed 18-Feb-15 11:46:08

I met my DP online but I had loads of bad dates before I met him! One guy was an ill-advised fling who - in the throes of passion - placed his forearm across my throat and whispered Ted Bundy without breaking eye contact. That ended pretty sharpish.

Another guy was really nice but partway through the date he nipped off to the toilet. Fine, but he took AGES. Then he came back and asked if we could go somewhere else because he needed a poo and there was no loo roll in that pub.

I wish I was joking.

SaucyJack Wed 18-Feb-15 11:47:24

I had an ex who didn't change his

SaucyJack Wed 18-Feb-15 11:48:20

Facebook password after we broke up. I used to log in and read his live chat threads.

HellKitty Wed 18-Feb-15 11:57:15

I spent a first date being told I had 'heroin addict' arms, a nose like Rudolph the Reindeer (I had a cold), he banged his head on a restaurant sign, I couldn't walk in my shoes so hung onto him, he told a landlord to stop me running off when he went for a wee, we had to walk miles uphill for ages - in the rain, he wouldn't go into any of my favourite pubs in case he got his head kicked in (he said), he hated the tapas so ate mine, I refused to invite him into my house and our end of evening kiss was just awkward.

We're getting married this year grin

SoonToBeMrsB Wed 18-Feb-15 12:04:23


On the opposite side of that coin, I'm marrying a guy who was terrified of me on our first date. First of all he was late so I phoned to ask if he was lost, I then told him that he had tiny ears and proceeded to "measure" them with my thumb and forefinger, I got into an argument with a wanky group of students who turned up late for the pub quiz and more or less demanded that we give up our comfy booth and sit at a rickety table in the corner and then I mis-read the last train time so he had to stay at mine (all above board, I promise!) and travel from Edinburgh to Glasgow on the 6am train for work blush

mrsm16 Wed 18-Feb-15 12:21:53

This is so cringey the more I think about it! was about 19 on a girls holiday, had a holiday fling with a worker for the whole two weeks, last night of the holiday he never showed up at work or to meet me after, no text etc, got absolutely steaming drunk, told my friends I was going home but really got a taxi to his apt, got as far as his front door copped myself on and ran away before I made a fool of myself!!

Kittymum03 Wed 18-Feb-15 12:33:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notenoughwine Wed 18-Feb-15 13:21:31

I always look at the Twitter page of someone I know in real life. I feel a bit voyeuristic and stalkerish about it because I never tell them I check it out. I'm sure lots of people do this though.

SleeplessinUlanBator Wed 18-Feb-15 13:48:21

Went on several dates with one girl, she was fun, intelligent, thoughtful, interesting and generally ticked all the boxes in terms of being potential long term relationship material, I was excited at the prospect. She came back to my flat one evening to share a bottle of wine, watch a DVD and much on a few take away pizzas, we laughed till we cried, we flirted, we slept together for the first time, it was amazing, we fell asleep in each other’s arms, blissfully content. I woke up and she was gone from my bed, somewhat confused I looked around the flat and it was empty…..apart from several turds and various other suspicious smears on the kitchen floor. Folded up and poking out the top of the bin were the pizza boxes from the previous night that I was sure had been left on the worktop. It would appear that an attempt had been made to fashion some kind of crude shovel out of the cardboard pizza boxes and used them to pick up the fugitive turds on the floor but the attempt had been abandoned midway through the procedure. I could only conclude that she needed to go to the toilet midway through the night and had got a bit confused and lost as to where the bathroom is and in her desperation had shat on the kitchen floor and attempted to clean it up. In her shame and embarrassment she had decided to flee the scene of the crime rather then face me the next morning. I tried to call her but I never got through and my texts went ignored. Shame really, she was a lovely girl and despite shitting on my floor I would have liked to have seen her again.

notenoughwine Wed 18-Feb-15 14:43:02

You win the thread, Sleepless, nobody is beating that horror story.

SaucyJack Wed 18-Feb-15 14:44:27

Wowsers sleepless- puts the saying "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for dropping toast crumbs" into perspective.

SleeplessinUlanBator Wed 18-Feb-15 14:48:28

"Wowsers sleepless- puts the saying "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for dropping toast crumbs" into perspective."

Naaah, toast crumbs in bed is worse!

CurlyWurlyCake Wed 18-Feb-15 14:54:01

Fucking hell sleepless

Thisissomething Wed 18-Feb-15 14:54:44

I'm ashamed to say I have millions!
Vomiting all over someone on a first date and his car. He did not even want to go out with me, he was just doing it because he felt obliged! Poor sod.

aurorablues Wed 18-Feb-15 15:14:07

I'm far too lazy to stalk. But did have a situation when i was young and inexperienced (around 19) where i was head over heals with a guy. I text him once a day for around three weeks after he broke it off . On the last text i sent, he sent one back saying he was going to contact the police (was so ashamed at the time).

On the flip side i went on one date with a guy from the interent a few years back. I sent him an email the next day and said; Whilst i had a nice time and he's a nice guy, there's no spark, take care and wished him all the best etc etc.
The next couple of months were horrendous, i would get upto around 40 calls/texts/emails a day from this guy.
I ignored obviously and never replied back, but got so frustrated i told him i would contact the police.
It worked for a few months, the excessiveness certainly stopped, but i kept getting the odd text and email and call for about 5 years on a monthly basis.
I did actually start using a differnet email address, and had a different number after those 5 years, and every now and again wonder if i still had the same details would i still be getting the odd text and email from him to this day lol

HeartbrokenWifeOfMillionaire Wed 18-Feb-15 17:05:25

When I was younger, I went on a brilliant date with this guy: he was handsome, kind, intelligent, and we had a brilliant spark.

We spent a night together (did I mention he was an amazing lover?) and I needed to go to the loo in the middle of the night. I couldn't find his bathroom so I ended up having an "accident" on the floor.

I was too ashamed to reply to his messages: by the time I summoned up the courage to call him it was too late.

I subsequently won a modelling contract, married a millionaire. But I do wonder what might have been with my lost love, if it wasn't for the shitting.

SleeplessinUlanBator Wed 18-Feb-15 17:31:59

Now that's just mean! sad

Damn you and your rubbish nocturnal navigation skills around a modest sized one bed flat and inability to hold a poo in.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Wed 18-Feb-15 17:46:03

Ahh, well in my carefree days, 2 male friends of my social group turned up on night out. Big sparks with bloke a, ringing me next day to arrange date.(pre mobile and Internet) nope-radio silence. sad A few months down the line friend B turns up and we "get on". Go on very boring date next night. Silence. Further on and I meet friend b, this time sparks, rainbows etc. we get engaged. But then invited to party at friend a and girlfriends. B is a bit embarrassed and says "you know how a never called you? I told him you were going out with C, who was crazy jealous stalker (no, he's laid back platonic mate) because I fancied you and didn't want him to go out with you.
Reader-we've been married 33 years. (I did tease him about it for a long time)

londonrach Wed 18-Feb-15 17:58:56

Lol heart and sleepless...

iklboo Wed 18-Feb-15 18:03:29

Went out with a guy from a local hobby group. In the restaurant he banged his head on the salad bar & cut it. First aiders to the rescue (his own fault though).

He ordered three courses, drinks etc. Spent the night telling me his loan had come through as well as his insurance payment from a burglary AND his bonus from work.

When the bill came I got my purse out to pay half and he TOLD me to pay it all because he had no money on him & he believed women should pay on the first date 'to prove they're not taking the piss'. Like a dick, I paid.

He came back to mine. Was crap in bed but said 'Mmm. That was quite nice'. Then started getting dressed, telling me he had to go as he had church in the morning and as he was going to have to confess about me anyway, he didn't want to make it worse by staying over.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Wed 18-Feb-15 18:03:32

grin heartbroken, brilliant

vivideye Wed 18-Feb-15 18:53:22

Got quite obsessed with a real shit at university and called him 28 times on his mobile phone one afternoon (these were the days when no one really had mobiles so i didn't understand how they worked and that they recorded missed calls). Needless to say, he told everyone and I just died about it for ages. Well, i actually denied it first, in such an obvious way that everyone knew I was lying. .......which only made the shame so much worse. He was replaced (in the obsession stakes) with a really handsome welshman who I still occasionally facebook-stalk 17 years later. He is now with someone from university who is really nice and not at all weird and stalkery.

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