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AIBU to think this is a crap way to deal with bullying?

(13 Posts)
Clairesafatgirlsname Tue 17-Feb-15 00:58:35

'Just move away' 'just move away from them' my children got so tired of hearing this that they stopped telling teachers altogether when awful things were happening. When I go in to talk to the head, she pretty much told me the prolonged bullying was my children's fault because they didn't tell a teacher, they stopped telling the teachers because they were always met with this response. I hadn't ever dealt with bullying before and some pretty horrific things happened at this school, leading to me and DH taking them out for a week while they waited for a place at a different school. They are in a different school now but I'm still smarting over this. Both of my children could have avoided so much suffering if any teacher had cared more than to say 'move away' DS is 10 and DD is 8 this is DS's 8th school and DD's 7th I am still in contact with Govenors of previous school though as I'm so upset at the heads indifference to my children's suffering. The remnants of the bullying impacts our lives, I still see the hangover in my children. AIBU to still feel so effing angry? The head makes me feel like I'm on another planet to find this response unacceptable.

whothehellknows Tue 17-Feb-15 01:00:35

I'd be angry too. And no, "move away" is not a sufficient response to sustained bullying.

DrEllieSattler Tue 17-Feb-15 02:43:16

Oh my goodness, what an exceptionally high number of schools your DC have attended. Why is it so high? Being the new kid is so so hard.

Aussiemum78 Tue 17-Feb-15 02:58:44

I don't want to dismiss your claims, but there is a difference between kids getting annoyed by others and the usual squabbles (that is good for them to work out themselves) and sustained bullying.

What was horrific? What was the sustained bullying? Verbal/physical?

Just wondering if this is the reason you have changed school every few months, and if maybe you are overreacting to normal playground issues. It seems extreme to change schools that many times.

Clairesafatgirlsname Tue 17-Feb-15 03:08:36

Thanks for your replies. They've moved school a lot as my DH is in the army and we move often. Things really came to head when one student pushed dd to the ground, kicked and punched her while another pulled her hair and another child kicked my DS as he tried to help my dd. I hope it doesn't sound like I can't cope with children sometimes being nasty and I've tried to teach my children that not everyone they meet will be nice and sometimes you do have to remove yourself from situations. This seemed extreme given what my children were going through each day

Clairesafatgirlsname Tue 17-Feb-15 03:15:35

Sorry, that probably wasn't very clear. The reason we've moved so much is due to postings. Academically we've managed to keep the kids to do speed, I mentioned the many school changes as a point of reference, we've never dealt with bullying before but found some pretty disturbing behaviour at this particular school. Hope that all makes sense.

fizzycolagurlie Tue 17-Feb-15 03:30:18

I am sorry you and your Dc's went through this and the head's response was sorely lacking.

Can you report it to ofsted? Are there governor's you can speak to?

I know now that you've moved you might want to let it go, I hope you're all okay anyway, it sounds like a traumatic experience for the DCs.

Coyoacan Tue 17-Feb-15 03:40:31

I chose my dd's school on how the head teacher was. In my short experience as a supply teacher in primary schools, the head teacher seems to set the tone for the entire school and when the head teacher is unethical you get seven-year-old bullies.

ILovePud Tue 17-Feb-15 08:00:10

I'm sorry that your DC went through this, I hope they're doing better now and are happier at there new school. I can't imagine any parent would find this response acceptable in the context of the situation you described, sadly lots of people look for a way to blame the victims as it a.)means that they won't actually have to tackle the difficult issues around bulling and b.) means that they can stay within their bubble of thinking that it won't happen to their DC or doesn't go on at their nice school. brew

JudgeRinderSays Tue 17-Feb-15 08:48:51

So understand this, I am not in any way disbelieving your DD's statement, but HOW does this happen? Where are the lunchtime supervisors?At schools I have had anything to do with 'out of sight' areas are out of bounds at playtime.Children can be seen all the time.

Also I wanted to ask how your DS who must be Y6 at most, has been through 10 schools in 6.5 academic years. Surely no army job requires that number of moves.I thought each posting was normally 2-3 years?

Purplepoodle Tue 17-Feb-15 09:46:43

Wow that's a lot of postings. Obviously this school wasn't one for your kids.

Can I ask though if your ds is only eight, presume she started school at 5 - why she has been though 7 schools? That's nearly two schools per academic year. OH moved quite a bit but he tended to be in post for at least a year and usually tried to keep him for 3 years plus once we had the kids

Clairesafatgirlsname Tue 17-Feb-15 10:06:41

Postings are usually 2-3 years, yes. Two have been very short due to promotion (DH needs to be posted into a role after picking up) in Aldershot, they went to 3 schools as the schools there are genuinely terrible, we put them in one whilst waiting for a place at another, sadly the school then closed and amalgamated with another. I really only mentioned the amount of schools they've been to as I've never had to deal with this type of bullying/ violence before. It's not ideal how often we've changed schools and certainly not how I thought it would be.
I honestly hadn't thought of reporting to foster and didn't know you could, I'll be looking in to that this morning, thank you.

Clairesafatgirlsname Tue 17-Feb-15 10:07:32


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