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AIBU?

to be annoyed?

15 replies

flyinghogfish · 16/02/2015 21:27

Ok, me again!
13 years ago, after a 27 hour Labour I gave birth a my son who came out not breathing, but thank God, has turned in to an an amazing son, I recovered from the traumatic birth, bonded well with him, got into the routine, all was good :)
9 months after he was born I found myself pregnant again!! I had just got back into work again, my boss was shocked (as we were) that another baby was on the way...
Anyway, this time the birth was awful, I ended up having an emergency cesarian, thankfully we were both ok but I had awful nightmares afterwards.
Anyway, my babies are both growing up, doing well, but tonight my other half has really upset me!
We were watching some tv programme where a woman got a tattoo, and I mentioned that I had my eye on a design for my foot.
My other half said I couldn't handle the pain,plus he hated tattooed women.
I questioned the comment about not being able to handle the pain and he said "well you only did half a job giving birth to (our daughter)
I am FUCKING FUMING, we BOTH could have died! :(
I don't want anyone telling me to ltb, I just wanted to rant xx

OP posts:

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42andcounting · 16/02/2015 21:36

And what exactly was his contribution to bringing your babies safely into the world? Also, does he think that a CS is like having a zip fitted - totally pain free recovery? I am fuming on your behalf, he is an arsehole for thinking something so out of order, and a prize dickhead for saying it

Topseyt · 16/02/2015 21:40

That is an awful thing to say!!! I would really pull him up on that.

I too had to have an emergency caesarean or my youngest daughter and I could have died. My husband would never have spoken like that.

I have heard many men admit that if they had to go through what we women do in order to have children then the human race would probably grind to a halt. My husband has said it, my FIL said it, my Dad has said it. It is in admiration rather than in criticism.

Was it a rather poor attempt at a joke? Not remotely funny anyway. Tell him when he has experienced childbirth and faced the prospect of dying without a caesarean then he can comment. Until then he is completely unqualified to make judgments.

Does he by any chance get manflu?

pinkyredrose · 16/02/2015 21:40

Time for stern words! Oh and get that tattoo if that's what you want. Your body made your precious children, you should decorate and commemorate it as you see fit.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 16/02/2015 21:40

I would be fuming too.

flyinghogfish · 16/02/2015 21:41

He was "joking" apparently!
Many a true word spoken in jest (or so the saying goes!)
I am so mad, glad he's gone out on a job, I am cuddling my beautiful daughter, she's amazing, and heard it all

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MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 16/02/2015 21:43

Oh dear.

What a utterly stupid thing to say.

Does he realise his mistake or is he blissfully unaware? Was he unaware at the time of what was actually happening to you?

I sympathise. I had a emcs and it was awful.

Topseyt · 16/02/2015 21:45

Also, what on earth would he make if he had stitches right across his pubic area following an abdominal operation?? Or perhaps even worse (for me it was, anyway), stitches in other unmentionable places causing difficulty sitting down or using the loo for weeks?

Twat!

maras2 · 16/02/2015 21:53

Cheeky bastard.Get a massive tat that says ' My husband is a complete wanker ' Seriously though,I'm sure he didn't think before he spoke but tell him how much it's upset you. Sorry you had such a bad time.

MonkeySeeMonkeyDooo · 16/02/2015 22:03

What an awful thing to say. I hope you ripped two shades of shit out of him. It's no bloody 'joke'.

flyinghogfish · 16/02/2015 23:02

We have had a long discussion, we both cried. He has apologised profusely, it was an offhand remark that really touched a nerve! I even offered to back a bag for him, which he was prepared to do if necessary.
Anyway it turns out it kind of done us both a favour, we discussed lots of issues and made us realise we don't talk and connect enough of a couple. We have been together 20 years now, and have been through some bloody hard times and made it through :)
Yes, he admits he's been an ubercunt with his comment, and has been on his knees apologising so I have accepted it. He is an amazing Dad to our children, and supported me through my various wobbles (due to my family and MH issues) and has put his job on hold so I can progress in my career so I guess I am lucky :)
Thank you to you lovely ladies for your kind words, affirmation and support xx

OP posts:

Topseyt · 16/02/2015 23:46

Ah, good that he has had the grace to admit that he was wrong and apologise. He probably just turned his mouth loose without engaging his brain first.

Onwards and upwards. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe go out and do something nice all together.

mrsfuzzy · 16/02/2015 23:55

c sections aren't always a life style choice op dp ! i've had six and i should know what i'm talking about ! first was at 28 weeks, then due to a breech it then followed on from there. glad he has apologised to you op, doesn't matter how babies arrive as long as they get here and both they and mum are o.k .

mrsfuzzy · 16/02/2015 23:56

oh, and enjoy your tat !!

LadyLuck10 · 17/02/2015 00:06

Yanbu what a truly hurtful thing to say. What did he contribute! He's an idiot for saying that.

mrsfuzzy · 17/02/2015 00:15

lady, there really is only one thing a man does contribute to the pregnancy thing, especially at the start ! but you 're right, mouth open before brain in gear.!

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