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To avoid jealous SIL?

(10 Posts)
Chesirerabbit Mon 16-Feb-15 02:49:47

I'm currently a SAHM, heading back to work soon after having a few years off and two babies. My DH and I am just bought a house. Since we bought the house, SIL has been really unsupportive and makes snide comments about us, our parenting techniques and our new house. I know she's upset because she wanted to move to a bigger house but they couldn't afford it. She made a horrible comment about her friend a few years ago that she was a SAHM and they could afford a large house, like it wasn't fair that they could do this and she couldn't. I feel like she's upset that we bought this house but we've worked very hard over many years and made sacrifices to afford this house. We weren't rubbing it in her face. We didn't tell her how much we paid, she looked it up online. I'm so upset after every time I see her and I feel so sad about the whole thing. Should I avoid her even though my kids love to play with their cousins? Or AIBU?

wreckingball Mon 16-Feb-15 03:13:00

It always amazes me how many people out there are jealous of other people's homes.

MistressDeeCee Mon 16-Feb-15 03:36:12

Your silly SIL hasn't worked out that envy does not = achievement - you don't gain what you want by counting others' blessings instead of your own, so whats the point? Id just engage with her as little as possible. Your DCs are related so you can't avoid, but keep any convo light, non-personal, and as minimum as you can get away with. She's not your sister, or your mate so don't feel duty bound and don't put up with any crap from her.

But in fact..why is it always the women worrying about in-laws, and putting up posts about snidey behaviour?! Don't the DHs have any input into telling their siblings to shut up and mind their own business and stop upsetting his wife..or do they just ignore it all?!

Wittynamehere Mon 16-Feb-15 04:04:01

If she can't stop making snide remarks I would avoid her if it were me but that's my nature. Has your DH pulled her up on any of this?

Chesirerabbit Mon 16-Feb-15 05:57:52

Thanks Mistressdeecee. Good points. My DH is always on my side and tells me to ignore her. She's just jealous he says. Doesn't make it less hurtful. He did tell her to stop being a b*tch at christmas, which is so out of character for him! He says to avoid her. But it's the kids I feel bad for. Am I depriving them of a great relationship with their cousins?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Mon 16-Feb-15 07:53:11

Don't let the cousins drift apart, but at the next get-together make it plain that the house conversation is over. Practice a queenly head tilt etc. Sugared arrogance is the thing, as dear Sir Terry put it; the attitude that what you want is the natural order of things.

mimishimmi Mon 16-Feb-15 08:44:18

YANBU. I was thrilled when my brother bought a house recently. As it happens, it's about the same size as our flat (except for land size obviously) but I wouldn't have given two hoots if it was larger.

patienceisvirtuous Mon 16-Feb-15 08:49:45

I can never understand behaviour such as your SILs.

I want only the best for DB and DSIL.

She needs to concentrate on her own life...

squallywag Mon 16-Feb-15 08:51:41

we have the exact same issue. we have dh supervise the cousins meeting as its easier for him to challenge the snidey remarks. you have my sympathy its horrible when you have worked for something and get spite for it confused

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol Mon 16-Feb-15 08:52:45

If cared about you at all she'd be happy for you.

She's not. Ditch her. Life's too short for this kind of crap.

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