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To tell him that he is a complete tosser

(20 Posts)
ladygoingGaga Sun 15-Feb-15 22:29:20

I have a lovely male friend, good looking, successful, and married. He had a reasonably long standing affair that he came close to ending his marriage for.
He made the right decision and stayed with his wife, the OW was a bit of a nut job.
He is naturally flirtatious, but tells me that he has only ever had this one affair and is relieved it is all over and is now happy.

I have just found out he is sending suggestive down right rude messages to another woman.

I wanna kick his arse into the middle of next week, but I can't tell him I know as it would compromise another friend.

Bollocks

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 15-Feb-15 22:30:48

I wouldn't be friends with such a tosser

DejaVuAllOverAgain Sun 15-Feb-15 22:37:02

He's not lovely. He's a lying, cheating, deceitful scumbag.

fredfredgeorgejnr Sun 15-Feb-15 22:41:21

Why do you think he "made the right decision", when he's clearly more interested in other women than his wife? That sounds like a bad decision.

If you're close enough to discuss his affairs with you, you're surely close enough to discuss his current activities?

ladygoingGaga Sun 15-Feb-15 22:42:38

The realisation of that is just dawning on me. I really thought I had helped him start afresh. Bloody annoyed on several counts.

Pandora37 Mon 16-Feb-15 00:57:41

Normally I would say don't get involved but having been in a similar situation recently that I'm absolutely raging about I vote tell him what you think of him. Probably won't make much difference but it might shock him coming from a friend.

Topseyt Mon 16-Feb-15 01:26:03

He's an arse. Tell him that.

AnyFucker Mon 16-Feb-15 01:30:14

He has you dancing attendance to his dirty little foibles too ?

kick his "friendship" into the middle of next week and stop being his go-to girl when he needs someone to make him feel like he's not really a cheating arsehole after all

TheCatsFlaps Mon 16-Feb-15 02:15:26

Punch and delete: it's the only way.

StripeyCustard Mon 16-Feb-15 05:45:36

YY AF

Tell him he is an are. Not remotely lovely.

UncleT Mon 16-Feb-15 06:25:31

Why on earth not tell him what you think?? He not only deserves it, but it's the right thing to do.

paxtecum Mon 16-Feb-15 06:30:22

Did his wife know about the OW?

Presumably not.

Your friend is not a lovely man.

BestZebbie Mon 16-Feb-15 06:37:44

Why would you waste any of your loyalty on somebody who is disloyal? You realise that if he has no qualms about cheating on his wife, he probably wouldn't even piss on a friend (you) if they were on fire, right?

lavenderhoney Mon 16-Feb-15 06:47:31

How do you know he is sending messages? Did your female friend show you?

He sounds a tosser tbh. Has affair, has you to tell him how great he is, presumably his dw isn't doing that atm which is hardly surprising! And now he is sexting a close friend of yours. No ones safe are they?

ihatethecold Mon 16-Feb-15 08:09:57

I couldn't be friends with someone male or female that behaves like this. Ever!

LuxuryTrifle Mon 16-Feb-15 08:10:06

Crikey of course tell him he is a tosser

But what I find weird is it sounds you know more about his love life than his wife! his not only being cheated on with OW, but also not even his closest confidant .

I wouldn't encourage him by continuing to be a supportive friend - and how can he be 'lovely' when he is a fuckwit?

ladygoingGaga Mon 16-Feb-15 09:49:15

His wife does know about the affair and they have been getting through it together.

I just figured it was one mistake and i had genuinely helped him.

'no one is safe' guess that is true

Genuinely still sinking in, just getting angrier the more i think of it.

Pissed off he lied to me

timeforabrewnow Mon 16-Feb-15 09:58:20

I just figured it was one mistake and i had genuinely helped him

Wake up and smell the coffee! Why does he need 'help'? Sounds to me like he knows exactly what he's doing. sad

MelonBallersAreStrange Mon 16-Feb-15 10:05:40

I wouldn't worry about him.

I would make sure his wife finds out somehow.

Poor woman is throwing her life away thinking they are getting through it together when in actual fact he has started up with the next one. God knows what lies he has told her.

FringeDivision Mon 16-Feb-15 13:30:13

You are pissed off he lied to you, so imagine how his wife feels!

'Lovely' people do not have affairs. People who are dishonest and disloyal have affairs.

Exit from this friendship or you will be as bad as him, colluding to screw over his poor wife - I would tell her the truth. She deserves to know.

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