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To have left DS (3) alone for 8 minutes?

(207 Posts)
HTK Sun 15-Feb-15 20:46:56

I'm wondering if I'm a bit too risk prone. I got up with DS this morning. I wanted the papers so went to the shop and left DS tucked up on the sofa with milk, watching TV for 8 minutes. DH was upstairs asleep with the door ajar but he is not a heavy sleeper and DS can get into the room if needed. The house is childproof, he wasn't eating anything and he can't open the front door.

I "risk assessed" this is my mind and decided it was fine. DH is a bit cross with me and said I should have woken him up to tell him I was going out. I didn't because he isn't the type who would have been able to go back to sleep and he works extremely hard and needs that one lie in a week.

I find I often do things with DS that DH wouldn't do.... Leave him in the car outside the local shop (in view), leave him in the car at the petrol station etc. am it too risk prone?

Fairenuff Sun 15-Feb-15 20:49:43

I think you are not being careful enough if that's what you're asking? You son is too young to be left unsupervised.

LingDiLong Sun 15-Feb-15 20:50:27

I wouldn't say you took that big a risk but it was a completely needless one. Why couldn't you have just waited for the papers until DH had woken up? Why not just let your DH know you were going?

OhTheThingsYouCanThink Sun 15-Feb-15 20:51:09

Well, if you didn't want to wake your DH, then I would have waited to get the papers - hardly urgent. I think you were unreasonable. A lot can happen in 8 minutes.

Charlotte3333 Sun 15-Feb-15 20:51:35

I think it depends on your child. I don't tend to leave YS (4) in the car ever because he can undo his five-point harness and likes to meddle with levers and buttons in the front seat.

I don't leave him alone downstairs, either, because he'd be up all over the worktops on his stool and leaping about the place. He's just accident prone. If you risk-assess first and feel he's safe, no harm is done. Tell DH he can get up with DS next time if he's very bothered by it.

DamsonInDistress Sun 15-Feb-15 20:52:08

For a second I thought there was no other adult in the house, I nearly had a heart attack! I think I would have woken my dh in those circumstances but I do understand why you didn't. Reading your other examples I don't think you are over risk prone but it's very easy to take increasing risks without really realising. Perhaps have a couple of weeks where you try and think objectively about these sort of situations add they crop up?

gunnsgirl Sun 15-Feb-15 20:52:26

You did at least risk assess and it was only for 8 minutes. However, I think you should have told DH what you were doing / planning just so that he was aware.

Guitargirl Sun 15-Feb-15 20:52:43

I wouldn't have left a 3 year old like that and am not surprised your DH is cross.

needtomanup Sun 15-Feb-15 20:54:00

If you didn't want to disturb you husband why didn't you just bring your son with you?

Liara Sun 15-Feb-15 20:54:00

I would think it was fine too, particularly with ds2 who would be unlikely to shift from sofa. Ds1 much more disaster prone, so would have probably not done it.

grumpalumpgrumped Sun 15-Feb-15 20:54:21

Think it depends on the child. dS1 would have been fine, DS2 is a disaster waiting to happen. I personally wouldn't but I am risk adverse.

NamesNick Sun 15-Feb-15 20:54:43

think you need to risk assess your priorities. papers are not high on the list imo

PuppyMonkey Sun 15-Feb-15 20:54:43

Don't think I'd have done that tbh - lesson learned for the future, wake DH up or just don't read a paper.confused

MegBusset Sun 15-Feb-15 20:56:41

I wouldn't have done it, why not take the 3yo with you? No house is totally childproof imo!

MrsMook Sun 15-Feb-15 20:56:59

There was an adults the house so therefore no problem. If DS had become distressed in anyway, he would have been heard and responded to, the same as if you are in another room.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sun 15-Feb-15 20:57:37

If DH did this with our children aged 5 and 8 I would go ballistic.

I think a petrol station it's better to leave children in the car ( I pay at pump anyway)

RJnomore Sun 15-Feb-15 20:57:41

I MAY have done this. I'd have panicked all the way there and back.

I would probably have been happier doing it with a slightly older child, possibly 5 up, I think I would have thought 3 is a bit too little.

Teanbiscuitsallround Sun 15-Feb-15 20:57:59

I would have waited until my DH was up or at least woken him up.

Agree with pp. I wouldn't do that and my DS is 4.

MoanCollins Sun 15-Feb-15 20:58:14

I think that's a little bit too long. My little boy is 3 and my husband would have left him like this if I was asleep. I'm a light sleeper and if he needed me or anything happened I would wake easily. But my husband would normally do that if he was walking from 100 yds to the paper shop and back so more like 2/3 minutes. And he is kept in the living room by baby gates so no access to stairs etc.

Personally I would say 8 minutes was a little too long, I would prefer to be woken up for that. I could sit in bed with a cup of tea while I could hear him downstairs if nec, but I'd like to be awake if it was that long.

minionmadess Sun 15-Feb-15 20:58:35

Not something I would have done when mine were that age.

pourmeanotherglass Sun 15-Feb-15 20:59:09

Its been a while since mine were that young - but 8 mins is quite a short time. I'd be longer than that having a shower or hanging the washing out. I think by the time they were 3 I would have done either of those with them tucked up in front of the telly.

TwoOddSocks Sun 15-Feb-15 20:59:32

I think this falls into the category of wouldn't do it personally but certainly not neglect. That said I think if your DH isn;t happy with the risk it's maybe not fair to do it, especially for something non-urgent.

londonrach Sun 15-Feb-15 20:59:48

You didnt leave him alone you left him with dh. At that age no way without an adult in the house but he wasnt alone!

BrianButterfield Sun 15-Feb-15 21:00:13

I wouldn't have done that with my DS - not left him alone downstairs with a sleeping adult upstairs. I would have told him to play quietly in his room, I think, or put him in bed with DH to read/play on iPad. There's just too much mischief they can get up to potentially out of earshot.

RJnomore Sun 15-Feb-15 21:00:43

But then thinking about it, it's no worse than if a 3 yo woke earlier anyway. Especially if DH is a light sleeper. So yes I would have.

And apparently I'm one of the neurotic ones on most threads, I wouldn't leave an ill 10 yo alone at home etc.

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