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AIBU?

to be fed up on holiday

32 replies

MarianneSolong · 13/02/2015 21:50

My husband has been very preoccupied with business, but we have just gone on our first childfree holiday for many years. Nowhere exotic - but a rural part of the UK that we both like.

But he's spent quite a bit of the first day moaning about being cold. It's taken the holiday cottage a while to warm up, but with an additional electric fire on it's been okay. He moaned about it raining when we walked to the pub for a meal. He got fretful about the time it took for the food to arrive, because his blood sugar was getting low and he'd forgotten to eat much during the afternoon. I thought he'd perk up when the food arrived, but - perhaps because he'd had paracetamol on an empty stomach - he complained of feeeling faint. He said he wanted to lie down. The pub was quite a quiet one, so he could lie down along the length of the seating. I asked if he wanted to call a doctor, but he said no Then he wanted me to escort him to the door of the gents.

Although I felt concerned about him I felt frustrated and embarassed too. He'd complained of feeling a bit off earlier, but hadn't said he would rather eat in. He came back from the gents feeling a bit better, and managed to eat some of his food. After a bit I said, 'I bet you've forgotten Valentines haven't you?' And he said, 'Oh is it today?' I said no tomorrow. And he said, no it hadn't registered and he hadn't got me anything, but it was how you were with somebody for 365 days of the year, not just on 1 day that counted wasn't it?

And I just felt so exhausted and so fed up...

OP posts:

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MrsTawdry · 13/02/2015 21:54

It sounds like he's overtired and perhaps overwhelmed at finding himself alone with you...is he feeling ok now?

sosix · 13/02/2015 21:55

.

Lazaretto · 13/02/2015 21:56

Could he be depressed or tired.. sounds distracted...

ssd · 13/02/2015 21:56

god poor you, he sounds a real PITA

next time take a pal

molyholy · 13/02/2015 21:56

I wouldn't be pissed off about the valentines thing but dh and I don't like it as a concept. However, I would be majorly pissed off and at dh lying the length of the seat when we went out to eat and going on a child free break and ruining it. YANBU.

WipsGlitter · 13/02/2015 21:57

Does sound a bit shit. I took dp away one and the cottage was very cold, he didn't feel well etc. He perked up on the second day though.

Is is always a bit precious?

dreamingbohemian · 13/02/2015 22:01

It doesn't sound great but what is your relationship usually like?

I remember once DH and I went away and we were both so exhausted that the first day or two was not all that fun, until we got some sleep.

It sort of sounds like maybe there are bigger issues here though.

MrsTawdry · 13/02/2015 22:02

Ooh you're all harsh! Ops DH must have felt shit to lie down in the pub! I'd be worried more than annoyed myself.

MarianneSolong · 13/02/2015 22:04

I think he gets panicky when he feels unwell, and that sort of takes him over and governs his behaviour. (I've felt sick on various holidays over the years, but just sort of go inwards.) I made him a couple of hot water bottles - we packed two - and told him to go to bed, when we got back to the cottage.

Obviously he has better qualities - and I can be hard work. But at the moment I just feel as if I've got tired of supporting him, and would like things to be different in our not-on-holiday life.

OP posts:

AnnieMorel · 13/02/2015 22:05

Poor you.

Is he elderly? He sounds it.

Longdistance · 13/02/2015 22:05

Tell him to stop being such a grumpy sod then jump him

editthis · 13/02/2015 22:07

I feel for you, but it sounds like he has been very stressed and it's taken its toll - sometimes these things hit you the moment you take a break.

It's awful for you as it's your child-free weekend too, and I don't think you'd be unreasonable to remind him gently of this tomorrow, but I say cut him some slack. Valentine's Day doesn't really matter to me though, to be honest: I would agree that it's the whole year that counts. If it matters to you, or he doesn't cherish you year-round, you'd be within your rights to be annoyed. But maybe he just needed a day or so to unwind and tomorrow will be bliss. Fingers crossed for you!

ssd · 13/02/2015 22:07

jump him? dump him more like

MarianneSolong · 13/02/2015 22:11

He's in his mid-sixties. There was a bit of an awkward build up to the holiday. We both like walking, but he's got some knee pain - perhaps as a result of moving some heavy furniture. This has limited what's possible on this holiday in terms of walks. He's not a good invalid - maybe most of us are'nt - so there has been some moaning about his knee over the last couple of weeks. I am about ten years younger than he is.

OP posts:

GetSober · 13/02/2015 22:13

Tbh, it sounds as if the holiday could be the least of your worries. Are you now thinking in a reassessing-your-relationship kind of direction...?

Charley50 · 13/02/2015 22:15

Ironically holidays can be stressful. Be kind to each other and don't fall for the consumerism that is valentines day.

MarianneSolong · 13/02/2015 22:18

I shall try to be kind. I was angry on the way back from the pub. I would have liked a card for tomorrow.

OP posts:

SisterNancySinatra · 13/02/2015 22:21

It can take ages to relax and de-stress on holiday. Each day you slowly feel yourself unwinding if you've been working hard or have been worrying . It just takes time .Dont worry about valentines day , your on holiday to forget about day to day worries.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 13/02/2015 22:26

"Today 22:11 MarianneSolong

He's in his mid-sixties. There was a bit of an awkward build up to the holiday. We both like walking, but he's got some knee pain - perhaps as a result of moving some heavy furniture. This has limited what's possible on this holiday in terms of walks. He's not a good invalid - maybe most of us are'nt - so there has been some moaning about his knee over the last couple of weeks. I am about ten years younger than he is."

I refer you to that well-known Beatles song, "When I'm 64."

marthasmith · 13/02/2015 23:48

I wouldn't bother about Valentines day, I've never had a present yet off dh . It's the stretching out on the seats that worries me. Did the bar staff say anything.

flowerpowerspiceknicks · 13/02/2015 23:57

Are you close enough to ask him if anythings wrong? You say its your first child free holiday yet you are both in your 50's and 60's so are your children still living at home?

BackforGood · 13/02/2015 23:58

I agree with mrsTawdry - I'd be worried about him feeling so unwell that he had to lie down in a pub, not cross with him

As others have said, it can take a while to unwind when you are busy at work / stressed, and then go off for a few days.

I certainly wouldn't want dh to waste our money on any Hallmark Valentines spending tomorrow.

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Only1scoop · 14/02/2015 00:03

The lying down in the pub would worry me to be honest.

Valentine's card not so much.

Slutbucket · 14/02/2015 04:00

Could he be coming down with flu ?

Snog · 14/02/2015 05:06

Could this be diabetes?

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