To lie about restaurant booking(13 Posts)
There's a group of us who meet up a couple of times a year, used to do a hobby together, friends of friends etc- quite a mixed group which has evolved a little over the years.
We meet up for a big boozy meal a couple of times a year as a large group.
Some of us go out in a smaller sub group much more frequently (old friends) - everyone knows that and is fine with that.
I'd arranged for the smaller group to go for dinner - bumped into one of the larger group who said, oh, when are we going out again? So I, without really thinking said - Oh, we're out on x date - why don't you come too?
But she then went and invited everyone in the larger group - thinking it was a large group event and I'd forgotten people.
I should have nipped it in the bud and didn't. There was the chance when I found out about the first extra person and - being nice and v busy that day just thought oh, well one more? But it went on.
It's completely changed from small cosy dinner to big do.
What I want to do is tell the extra 5 people that really sorry, I've cocked up - restaurant will only take original small number and I'll arrange a big do in a month or so.
Or do I just have to suck up my stupidity and accept I've bolloxed up the nice meal at lovely cosy restaurant and turned it into something entirely different that none of us wanted!
I would stick with the larger group to avoid upsetting anyone, and arrange another time with the smaller group.
Sounds like you are making a bigger deal of this than you should. You say its turned into something 'nobody wanted' but obviously 5 people in the larger group do want it.
Does everyone in the smaller group want to keep it the smaller group?
I cant really imagine uninviting 5 people, that sound awkward.
Everyone in the smaller group has called me (fairly affectionately) a daft git for not just saying - 'oh yes, lets arrange something' when I first bumped into the lady who has invited everyone else. And then sorting something out for the large group at some point.
It really was just supposed to be the 5 of us going out to a restaurant we all know and like and have been to lots for a gossipy catch up.
It was one of the original 5 suggested I lie about the booking!
It'd get really awkward if you uninvited them now really. I'd just go ahead with it and organise something else for the smaller group.
Agree with the others in your smaller group that you should have just said 'let's arrange something soon' but we all brain fart occasionally.
Though if they've all said it, it does sound like none of you particularly want to see the extended group.
(Is that on the fence enough for you? . )
Firmly sat on the fence. Ta.
They do want to see the bigger group - just what we'd planned was a small girly get together, no blokes, we don't drink much so would have been cheap booze wise (not sober but not drunken debauchery). With the big group it tends to get a bit OTT - fun but not what had been planned or looked forward to for this time.
If it's a different type of night entirely, maybe suggest a more appropriate location to the whole group, then when location is decided, subtly ask for suitable dates and let smaller group know to suggest a different date? Then you can keep your little get together and have the bigger one a different time.
I cant help but feel bad for the woman who invited the others if you cancel though, how would you feel if it were you?
I totally understand as i was in the same position as you a few months ago although it was family not friends. I invited my sisters over for pizza and a film, was supposed to be a total gossip fest. Anyway, i was speaking to my cousin (shes the same age as us and we get on fine, would of been great for her to come) and invited her. My cousin then invited her older sister (who we don't know that well, wouldn't be able to relax properly) who invited their mum, so then my mum had to be invited. It ended up a totally different night than what we had planned.
We decided to have the big family girls night so as not to hurt anyones feelings and it wasn't a bad night, just different to what we planned. I had my sisters over a few weeks later for our original plans.
Try looking at it like you have just had to postpone your original plans, and this is a different night out. That helped with the disapointment.
You're just going to have to go with it now. Lying about a restaurant booking is ridiculously childish, but I think you know that already
If you basically like the extended group then at least you know that you're still going to have a good time.
I think your going to have to have the bug group meal now. Could the smaller group not have a boozy night and takeaway at someone's house weekend before or after
I think you'll have to go along with it and arrange something smaller later.
I don't see the problem with going ahead and meeting with the larger group. They're all your friends aren't they? Just arrange another date for the smaller group.
You did the wrong thing in the first place by asking the extra one without checking with the small group members if that was OK.
It seems like you're trying to put all the blame onto her.
Go with the big one. Apologise to the others. Sort out a date for the small group. Job done.
This is so easy to solve, it really is. Just turn this one into the big night with a chance of venue if needs be, and arrange a subsequent night out in the cost place for the small group. What's so difficult?
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