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AIBU?

To be cross that f and c words are present in year 5 primary?

62 replies

fullcircleagain · 12/02/2015 21:58

Dd is in year 5 in a highly successful school. She's been complaining that in the playground everyone is using the f, s, and once the c word. She hasn't actually told me the words but that's not necessary.

I'm quite shocked. Perhaps I just need to get with the times??!!

OP posts:

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Charlotte3333 · 12/02/2015 22:00

ES is Y4 and recently announced that he and his friends had been looking up the f word in a dictionary during class time. I was a bit pissy about it because he's only just 9. DH was more impressed that any of those lugnuts knew how to operate a dictionary and said it was normal.

26Point2Miles · 12/02/2015 22:00

In your title it says you are cross.... Who with?

GingerCuddleMonster · 12/02/2015 22:01

I'd be that children were using such language. Young teens and above I'd be unhappy but not shocked but year 5?!

and I'm 25 so not even 'old' yet...

Callooh · 12/02/2015 22:02

This reply has been deleted

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Theselittlelightsofmine · 12/02/2015 22:02

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Nanny0gg · 12/02/2015 22:05

Really?

My DGC go to a 'naice' village school and they've heard it in Year 1.

I am proper old and the boy who sat behind me in 4th Year Juniors (Yr 6) taught me every swear word I've ever known. And that was 50 years ago.

Times haven't changed that much.

As long as they know they are 'bad' words and musn't be used (and preferably ignored) there's not much else you can do to shield them.

Medoc · 12/02/2015 22:05

Y5? FFS- My brother taught me the F-word when he was 4, and I was 6.
Mother was not impressed, but he'd picked it up from big people in the park.

26Point2Miles · 12/02/2015 22:07

Year 5 is Middle school here. We don't have primary schools

SorchaN · 12/02/2015 22:08

My ten year-old son and eleven year-old daughter are very aware of those words, and we've discussed them. Apparently lots of kids use them in the playground, but not around adults. It doesn't really bother me though; I tend to get cross about other things...

kim147 · 12/02/2015 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeanKoontz · 12/02/2015 22:14

ds once told me he knew the F word (Yr 1 or 2).

I was

What is it? I asked.

It's...... Shit

I think I was more upset that he thought shit began with an F.

tippytappywriter · 12/02/2015 22:15

They are just words. They will hear them sooner or later. My children are taught when and where to use them appropriately! I never use the c word and don't think my children have heard that one yet but the others they have. We talk a lot about words and their meaning so they have come home and asked about "naughty" words they have heard.

tippytappywriter · 12/02/2015 22:18

And I'd expect those in a highly successful school to have a wide vocab!

IrenetheQuaint · 12/02/2015 22:18

Gosh, I swore like a trooper when I was 10 in the late 80s. We all did, it was F-word central It felt glamorous and grown-up, I suppose.

The crucial thing then and now was to not to swear in front of adults. Teach your DC that and they'll be fine.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 12/02/2015 22:19

Your DC may mean 'crap', not cunt.

fullcircleagain · 12/02/2015 22:19

I wouldn't be upset if they were just discussing their new found vocabulary. But they are using it in context eg. One boy said it ten times when he got cross in a game of football. Oh well, it must be me.

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FarFromAnyRoad · 12/02/2015 22:22

50 years old and convent educated - learnt the word FUCK there at 7 or 8. My DS learnt cunt at church primary - I suppose he was 5 or 6? We didn't make anything of it - told him if he found it so fascinating he could repeat it until he turned blue. He didn't bother!

Dawndonnaagain · 12/02/2015 22:28

Ds came home with 'motherfucker' at around ten. I just gave him a copy of Oedipus and told him he had to fully understand words he intended to use regularly. He didn't bother trying to impress me with any more. He's 30 now and still remembers it. Having said that, we all swear like troopers here, I just preferred appropriate and non appropriate settings/timings/usage.

howtodrainyourflagon · 12/02/2015 22:28

But this is an entirely normal part of growing up! They're trying out what they see to be adult language in a safe space. It's totally, totally developmentally normal, and Y4-Y5 is the typical age for children to start doing this. They will use awful language with each other, and it will get worse (more sexual bad language in early teens) then get better as they understand social norms. It really is part of the process of establishing an independent identity - I'm pretty strict as a parent and would come down like a ton of bricks on my kids if I heard them using the language in front of adults, but I'm realistic about the way children of this age talk to each other and don't want to impose rules where it's really not necessary - children have to learn to self-regulate and use these sorts of words appropriately - and they do this through practice.

Like toddlers learning to talk. It really is normal. So YABU.

FarFromAnyRoad · 12/02/2015 22:30

I like your approach Dawn. Getting all outraged and bosom-hoiky about these things absolutely guarantees their continued use. Unless you want years of irritation just downplay it.

mushypeasontoast · 12/02/2015 22:31

Dd is 10, she has heard her brothers (13&14) use various swear words. My rule is they are ok if used in context.

I can only hope she isnt repeating them at school.

cece · 12/02/2015 22:31

My DC learnt all of those words in Reception!

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Ludoole · 12/02/2015 23:07

At my dc's primary those words were regularly heard on the playground-spoken by parents!!!
Some kids hear it everyday at home as part of general conversation so its no wonder it gets repeated at school.....
Thankfully they no longer go to that school any more.

fullcircleagain · 12/02/2015 23:13

Hmm. I'm finding this thread rather depressing now. Say no more. It's normal. Sadly.

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minilegofigure · 12/02/2015 23:19

I went off to secondary school not knowing many swear words and felt very disadvantaged! Knowledge is power and all that. I would not be upset about them knowing these words but I would if my DCs were using that language regularly. You set the example there.

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