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to want my new boss to value my opinion?

(16 Posts)
AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 21:10:18

I'm trying SO hard not to sound like a negative whinger here! grin

BUT. Due to a mass exodus of colleagues, I have been single-handedly running my dept for half a year. Its been such hard work and obviously standards have slipped and non-essential work hasnt been done.

New boss has been in post for a month. Despite promising not to change things he's done the opposite. All systems and processes are to be changed (by me) aswell as doing the work that actually needs doing. He asks me how things work, I tell him, he tells me to change them. I appreciate some change is inevitable, but its reaching the point where its starting to look like its change for change's sake and I can see his eyes glaze over when I try to explain why things have slipped, or why processes (that work) are how they are.

I admit I'm feeling a bit down because after all this time of trying to keep things going I feel like i'm being made to look incompetent. Im probably oversensitive though.

He's quite a bullish character and I don't want to come across as obstructive. He doesn't listen to anything I have to say - I get the feeling its going to be 'my way or the high way'.

Am I right to feel this way? Or do I just need to take it on the chin and get on with it? I need to talk to him I guess but nervous of how he'll react.

MinceSpy Thu 12-Feb-15 21:13:46

Start looking for a new job. He wants things done his way and it sounds as though he blames you for the slip in standards.

AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 21:31:19

I fear that leaving may be my only option Mince sad

HearMyRoar Thu 12-Feb-15 21:39:09

I suspect he is well aware that you have been running things and therefore feels he needs to assert his authority. This is his way of saying 'i'm in charge now, know your place'. I imagine he suspects you think you should be doing the job rather then him and lacks the confidence to make use of that expertise without feeling undermined.

I think getting out is probably the only thing you can do. Think of it as a chance for a change.

AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 21:48:29

I hadn't thought of it that way hear, good point. I'm not actually qualified to do his job but he does strike me as the insecure type.

SuggestmeaUsername Thu 12-Feb-15 22:09:29

After my colleague left suddenly, I took it upon myself to cover his work until they could find a replacement. my manager had only taken over the month before. the goal posts kept moving with all the process and procedure changes. I was under a lot of pressure and stress often working 12 hour days without a break doing my job, covering my colleagues work as well as dealing with the mess he had left everything in. unfortunately trying to deal with all this, some things had to take a back seat. so when my review came up, I was expecting massive praise for keeping things going and being very supportive. However I got criticised for being behind with the filing. my advice is to get out. stuff them.

MoanCollins Thu 12-Feb-15 22:15:50

Actually I think the man might have a point. He's come into run the department and you're very defensive about things changing. You've been 'running the department' and you feel like he is treading on your toes. But although you may have been keeping things ticking over it is now HIS department and he is your boss. You say you don't want to seem obstructive but it doesn't appear that you do.

Bear in mind, your boss will have had discussions with his seniors about what they want to happen and where they want the department to go. He will be acting on that strategy. Although you may like the way things are it doesn't necessarily work with the way the organisation wants your department to be or how they want things to work. As you are not actually the head of the department you may well not have been party to these discussions.

I'm not sure that you're giving him the same respect in turn, you're not valuing his opinion either. And he is your senior, it's your job to carry out your tasks within the department in the way that he wishes.

If you really can't handle the change then, yes, look for something else. But I can see from this man's point of view it may well appear that you are undermining him and being uncooperative and obstructive. I'm sorry if that sounds brutal, but really I think that is the way you will be coming across. It seems like you are not being flexible or open to change and I think that you will be harming your future prospects within the organisation and creating a very bad impression.

Even if you decide to get out you might want to modify your stance until you do because you could be affecting the reference you will get. I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face here somewhat, you don't want things to change and you're resisting but ultimately you're not going to succeed, because you're not the head of department, and you're going to come across as being difficult and uncooperative with senior members of staff which really doesn't help.

AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 22:24:41

No I agree with you to a certain extent Moan and I am trying to see things from his perspective. I'm honestly trying to not appear obstructive. Im conscious that the dept is taking a turn towards a different route and maybe it isnt for me. Im not against change but not just for the sake of it (and when it creates more work for me when we're still understaffed).

But I see your point. Im not perfect nor am I the boss. wink

AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 22:30:17

And actually, I think my biggest problem is that I never had any recognition for struggling to keep things going alone for so long. Im still bitter about that. blush

I'll remove that chip off my shoulder now. grin

SuggestmeaUsername Thu 12-Feb-15 22:36:52

Moancollins I think you are a bit harsh. You are correct in what you are saying but when someone has been covering lots of roles because of other staff leaving, it is unfair on that person to make big rapid changes without providing support to that person as he or she will already be under a lot of pressure and stress.

Change is fine and is a necessary part of working life. However, often staff are not given the support, time, resources to deal with change. Also, often new managers come in and make changes to suit what they know from previous organisations without taking the time to understand why processes are already in place

MoanCollins Thu 12-Feb-15 22:37:05

Unfortunately that's typical of companies. Particularly when you are in a situation where you're not being managed so there's nobody who is actually seeing how much you are doing and what you're putting in.

That isn't your new bosses fault though, so I think that's the wrong direction for that frustration to go in. He wasn't there and the people who were overseeing it in his stead didn't notice.

It might be really hard, but the best thing for you and probably for your boss too and the department would be to really get behind your new job and try to summon up some enthusiasm for what he's doing with the department. If he puts his plans in place and they don't work then perhaps you can suggest ways it could work better. But I think to dismiss them when he makes them isn't the way to get him to value your opinion. Perhaps be more diplomatic about it, try to work with him rather than against him. I know it's difficult but if you try and be more open to changes and try them out, help to implement them, put suggestions in which you think might help with his plans.

He's not necessarily never going to value your opinion, but when you're setting yourself up in opposition to him that's really not the way to get him to listen to you.

AlanBstardMP Thu 12-Feb-15 22:45:12

Good points all round. Thanks all smile

blueshoes Thu 12-Feb-15 23:11:23

I agree with moan that if you are going to stay, you are going to have to work with your boss and show him you are on his side.

As a manager, I don't mind putting in the effort to coach or help someone develop. But what I find particularly sapping is if the report starts setting him/herself in opposition or even just looking defensive or keeping silent. That rocks me my confidence in the person, doubt their ability to change or improve and in fact, I would be mentally marking time before I expect to see their resignation letter on my desk and whilst inconvenient, would be a relief to be able to move on.

SuggestmeaUsername Fri 13-Feb-15 09:06:17

I think it works both ways. The boss should also show that he is on the OP's side. It is all about people skills and people management. The OP has already shown that he is on the organisation's side by keeping everything afloat after colleagues left. The boss does not really need to do much to keep the OP on his side. All he has to do is speak to the OP and say how it has been noticed and appreciated what he has done to keep things going and that there are now a number of changes in processes that senior management want implemented and the boss would value the OP's opinion and help in making these changes. just a few simple words to make the employee feel appreciated and valued. a pat on the back is all it takes in most circumstances

wobblebobblehat Fri 13-Feb-15 09:30:02

So he wants changes but you're understaffed and have been working 12 hour days. What does he propose to do about that or are you just expected to suck it up?

It's a two way street...

SuggestmeaUsername Fri 13-Feb-15 09:37:14

In my experience it was all one way and the pressure and stress of it became too much and I ended up going off with stress and depression and finally losing my job because of it.

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