To want to kill this cat?

[namechangeafternamechange]

Looked out my window this afternoon while cleaning (and still feeling smug about it ) and saw next door's cat shitting on my garden [mad]

I went out to chase it away to find that it clearly isn't the first time it's done this!! Now my garden needs a mow as it hasn't been done since november (bloody rain) so I haven't seen the sea of shit that now hides in my grass. Pissed off doesn't even come close, I live in the country FFS and surrounded by fields so it's not like it's lacking in places to have a crap [mad]

How can I stop it shitting in my garden? My toddler has just started playing in the garden again now the weather is a bit better, I really don't want him to go blind!!! (ok so a bit melodramatic but still!)

[Hurr1cane]

Squirt it with a watergun? I wouldn't mind you doing that to my cats, but they come in to shit because they're overly pampered beasts

[MumRaah]

I fucking hate cats...but be warned OP,this wont end well...

[namechangeafternamechange]

I'm not overly keen on cats but I actually really liked this one before it started spilling it's guts over my garden!

[Lilwelshyrs]

I put orange peel in the grass as they hate citrus. We have some nasty poopers in our area - even having dogs doesn't seem to put some off!!

[MumRaah]

monkeyface

[Royalsighness]

Get one of those really convincing fake cats with marbles for eyes from betterware to scare it the fuck away.

[namechangeafternamechange]

monkeyface

Unfortunately I couldn't get away with this, it's 'mother' is a vet and we only have each other for neighbours.

[TheSpottedZebra]

So many grinning faces, about killing cats.
I hope you are just being 'funny'. But you're probably not.

[SoupDragon]

Your garden is probably full of fox shit so the cat is the least of your problems.

[monkeyfacegrace]

Cats fit into a special place, along with wasps and slugs. None of them should ever have been put on that ark.

[namechangeafternamechange]

Epic sense of humour failure!!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

OP there will be a spate of people telling you the shit is foxes or whatever (regardless of the fact that I have cat shit in my garden and no foxes). Spray with water, you can get motion-activated ones, smelly stuff in the garden beds and fake cat.

I know cats roam but I don't understand why your want to have a cat trumps my want to have a cat shit free garden and some songbirds. Can anyone explain?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

x-posted with the inevitable fox-shit comment.

[LisaMed]

ime squirt guns are the only way. I never found another deterrent that worked. Squirt guns only have a minor impact, but it is an effect greater than zero and I'll take that.

I am currently between cats, I have previously been owned by three cats (all evil) and next door's cats have made it their life mission to dig through our flowerbeds.

Father, the softest gardener on earth, used to threaten them with all sorts and they all knew he was bluffing and kept up with the shit and scatter routine.

btw I recommend The Unadulterated Cat by T Pratchett. He has a real understanding of the problem. He suggested getting your own cat to defend its territory - your garden - and then use a nice litter tray. However Sir Terry writes humour...

[namechangeafternamechange]

Weirdly enough soupdragon it's not. Don't ask my why but there seems to be a distinct lack of foxes around here, often wondered why

[LiegeAndLief]

Ooh that was a brave brave post.

But our garden backs onto three with fucking cats and i'm with you and Monkeyface.

[MissMuffetisin]

Get a big fierce tom cat. . He'll keep visiting cats out and inevitably shit in someone else's garden .

[bimandbam]

Buy a whippet. Whippets hate cats.

[namechangeafternamechange]

MrsT I have read and re-read the last question on your post and I'm ashamed to say I don't get it

[monkeyfacegrace]

bimandbam

Da daaa

[CalicoBlue]

My exdh used to sit at our back door with a sling shot and small wet newspaper balls. He would fire them at cats that came into our garden. Did not hurt them and they stopped coming in.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Can anyone explain why people have cats when other catless people have to clean up the shit and cats kill massive numbers of songbirds? That was it, I think. I'm supposed to be studying for an exam so thoughts are muddled! I didn't mean 'you' as in 'you the OP'. I meant 'you' as in 'you, you bastards with cats'.

[echt]

Squirtguns. Satay sticks in flower beds, pointy side up. Cats will shit in long grass, sadly, though I can see why you haven't been able to mow it.

Song bird depredation - bollocks. That's down to loss of habitat and food.