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To not really care about 50 Shades misogyny when CSE is so prevalent IN REAL life?

(21 Posts)
Fatstacks Tue 10-Feb-15 14:51:35

Just heard a woman on the news harping on about 50 Shades film and how she was going to leaflet outside it because it's such a bad example for young girls.

In my opinion it's a worse example that our supposed public servants are doing fuck all about actual real rape and abuse!

Is it just me or should some of this 50 shades fury be directed at real non fiction acts?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 10-Feb-15 14:54:11

Cultural indoctrination so that women accept their lot, and rape culture is perpetuated is a real thing. People can care about more than one thing.

deadenddan Tue 10-Feb-15 14:57:00

50 shades is an issue because so many women have been sucked into it. A highly educated woman in DCs school yard was telling me how he didn't force her in the book only convinced her. And only pushed it too far a few times.

It's THAT. The fact 0000s of women are buying into it when mention rape to them they'd be's normalising it on a grand scale.

So yabu.

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 14:58:56

50 shades and I have read all 3 is on a par with barbera Cartland.

I don't feel the need to be spanked or piss around with masks and nipple clamps after reading it!

Ffs it's a novel. It's not serious.

It has fuck all to do with rape either. There is no rape in the book!

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 15:00:15

She's read a different book to me then dead it was all consensual crap. Have you read it yourself?

Fatstacks Tue 10-Feb-15 15:01:06

I must really be missing the point completely.

A book that's shit spawns a film that's also likely to be shit.

I understand that we can care about more than one issue but where are the pickets about the abuse scandal?

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 15:01:57

And pardon me but women in general are no more sucked into this than mamma Mia. Am guessing most arnt either tied up to a bed or singing on a cliff top in Greece.

How patronising.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 10-Feb-15 15:07:20

it was all consensual crap. So there were never times in the book when she didn't want to do something and he went ahead and did them anyway? Because that's rape.

Twilight, this, plenty of other shit, is giving the message "it doesn't matter if your partner does weird, creepy, stalker stuff and doesn't listen to you when you object, he's cute and passionate. Swoon".

Fatstacks Tue 10-Feb-15 15:20:06

Don't you think MrsTP that maybe the books/stories aren't so far fetched?
I don't mean vampires and stuff.

There are close to 2000 girls (children not counting over 18s) that have been abused in a smallish northern town.
The authorities who were supposed to be responsible have failed spectacularly.
There have been hardly and arrests the men still walk free.

And it's still happening.

Why picket about a film when the bloody reality is that lots of those girls were and are abused far worse than Christopher Grey could think up.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 10-Feb-15 15:27:44

I work with homeless people, addicts and offenders and have my whole life. I have been told too often that while there are children in trouble, addicts and offenders should be left to rot. Just because one thing is 'worse' than another, doesn't mean that someone can't care about it and do something.

Being sold the myth that abusive men are 'passionate' and that jealousy is a sign of love IS making abuse more likely.

Go picket the BBC and Scotland Yard and Parliament and your friend can picket the film.

rinabean Tue 10-Feb-15 16:19:50

It is a bad example for young girls. They're rarely stolen off streets or from their beds. They go willingly at first, they think it's cool, they think it's exciting, it's love, it makes them grown-up. This is how all of that shit happens yeah and if you actually cared about it you would know. When their moms and older sisters are saying it's sexy and passionate and romantic for a man to hit a woman, it doesn't help. Love and sex are never meant to feel bad, this is really basic and if all girls understood this fewer would be harmed because they wouldn't put themselves at risk, they would know what is bad and scary and tell someone, and the people they told would take it seriously. Literally this is a book where a man hits a woman and she loves him. How the hell can you not see the problem?

Bair Tue 10-Feb-15 16:33:58

Such a romantic book. I hope my daughter ends up in a relationship like this. hmm

"Why picket about a film when the bloody reality is that lots of those girls were and are abused far worse than Christopher Grey could think up."

Because we have the capacity to know that because something is bad, it doesn't mean lesser evils are ok. I can care about abuse in a northern town and be concerned about the normalisation of abuse in modern fiction. I can care about this campaign and the children in Niger, as well as caring about women in the UK ( who in comparison are very lucky but who also do not receive adequate maternity care in some cases) at the same time.

Fatstacks Tue 10-Feb-15 16:57:30

Sorry Bair I didn't mean to give the impression that I found the book romantic, or think my daughter will be better off with a vampire.

In all honesty I haven't read the whole book, I got about halfway through, it was shit.
I put it down and left it there.

I didn't say that we can only care about one thing either.
Or that the book sends the right message.

I asked if I was BU because I think that NOT making a big fuss about our girls who are actually being discarded by our own society and left for abusers is sending a bigger message than 50 shades ever could.

ghostyslovesheep Tue 10-Feb-15 17:11:23

but one normalises the other

a young girl reads that an ideal relationship is one where she's stalked, raped, harassed, threatened - with violence etc - she's told is saucy - she's a prude if she finds if shit not nice (my own experience as an adult woman!) she's told it's romantic

then she meets a man who stalks, harasses and abuses her - but it's a bit daring and a bit dramatic and a bit saucy - so shut up and put up...

every day sexism - in films, books, at home etc teaches girls this shit is acceptable

sure lots will take it at face value - but the vulnerable girls who are preyed on by abusers my have no other model of 'love' and may be easily talked into accepting abuse

Lots of sexually exploited young people believe they are in a loving relationship - which is why, especially in the face of older legislation, it was difficult to change

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 17:24:55

Na it's just a book. My teens read harry potter and don't belive in witches.

I think the book is a bit daft but harmless. All the teens I know thought it was porn for old people.

Mixing this up with real abuse is a bit silly really. Like the books.

There's far far more controlling and rape in a barbera Cartland novel.

And there is no rape in 50 shades. If there was I missed it. What pages of which of the books?

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 17:27:59

gordy yes take your point that some vulnerable people may be affected by this book but by that argument no book or drama show ever would be made.

Look at breaking bad!

TookALittleLongWayRound Tue 10-Feb-15 18:49:23

Nothing wrong with being tied to a bed now and again Betty grin

Bettybodybooboo Tue 10-Feb-15 18:54:58

I think if it had been written by a man and moderately sucessful no one would have batted an eye kid but a middle aged woman writing about kinky sex and making millions.

Oh no that's not on.

Again there is no rape in the books.

vrtra Tue 10-Feb-15 21:15:06

It's not a competition is it? I reserve the right to be annoyed about misogynist crap and livid about cse cover ups, thanks all the same.

limegoldfinewine Wed 11-Feb-15 01:28:01

People prefer to be distracted by crap that allows them to pat themselves on the back whilst retweeting some "smart comeback" that a middle class Guardian journalist has just composed, rather than dealing with the hard stuff.

Look at the initial Rotherham revelations. They came out around the same time as the celebrity nudes leak stuff. Many more articles and tweets by feminists about how nudes "would lead to rape culture" than about the _actual rape_ taking place.

People lack empathy and can only relate to themselves and their own problems.

Fatstacks Wed 11-Feb-15 07:42:50

I don't know if it's because their are the cultural issues or because it's just not as fashionable Limegold
Maybe it had it's moment and people are blindly assuming it will all be sorted out now.

I still don't understand the disparity.

I genuinely hope the victims don't feel cheated of our disgust.

That's nice vrta

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