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To hope that she lets him see his son?

(14 Posts)
ApignamedJasper Tue 10-Feb-15 13:19:42

I have a friend from a long time ago, don't see her much anymore as we live in completely different parts of the country but she regularly posts updates on FB.

She got pregnant last year, due any day now and has 2 older kids from a previous relationship, from what I gathered all seemed well. Unfortunately not long after New Years she put a massive rate on FB, her new partner has broken up with her sad Obviously this is a very difficult time for her.

Afaik, the break up was partly due to the fact they hadn't been together very long and partly to do with her acting like 'a hormonal bitch' to him during her pregnancy (her own words, that was part if her rant!).

Since she is due any day, she recently put a post up telling all of her ex's family & friends to delete her off FB because she doesn't want him to know when 'HER son is born'.

Aibu to think, fair enough she is extremely upset and hurt but that she shouldn't cut her baby's dad out of his life just because she is annoyed with him? Aibu to hope that eventually, when she's calmed down, she lets him see his son? Since her youngest doesn't have the same dad as his older siblings it seems sad that he might grow up without his father in his life at all because his mother won't allow it?

Hissy Tue 10-Feb-15 13:32:08

None of your business love.

You have NO idea what the ins and outs of their relationship are/were, and if he wants to see the child he has legal process he can make use of.

How come you are judging her so harshly? Why would you talk about someone like that when you are saying she's your friend? hmm

Nolim Tue 10-Feb-15 13:34:24

Stay out of it. She does sound hormonal.

sparechange Tue 10-Feb-15 13:36:39

Nothing wrong with hoping, but I wouldn't say anything to her in your shoes.

It does all sound like attention seeking though. If she didn't want him knowing, surely the normal thing would be to delete his family from her friends. Not put some dramatic 'delete yourselves because I can't trust you and I want to draw attention to what I'm planning' post up

ApignamedJasper Tue 10-Feb-15 13:37:05

I'm not judging her I just think that her child has a right to know his father, barring dv or abuse. I would feel that way if she wasn't my friend too! Of course I'm not going to send her a message telling her she should be doing 'xyz' at a very difficult and stressful time of her life but Aibu to hope that at some point she calms down enough to let her child have a relationship with his dad?

I just wonder how her son will feel when his older siblings go off to see their dad and he doesn't sad

ApignamedJasper Tue 10-Feb-15 13:38:42

Yeah that's a good point actually spare!

DisappointedOne Tue 10-Feb-15 13:39:16

How many women say what they mean when pregnant?

How many people say what they mean when stressed or upset?

How many people say what they mean on FB?

She's perfectly capable of deleting people from Facebook herself. Her post is a cry for attention, nothing more.

Nomama Tue 10-Feb-15 13:41:27

I think you can only withdraw a little bit and be there when her very own version of the Eastender's dunk dunks hit home.

She is creating her own little melodrama that a large number of people will have every right to interrupt and disagree with. Just be ther for her when they arrive!

kinkyfuckery Tue 10-Feb-15 13:41:29

Maybe he doesn't want involvement?

ElsieArby Tue 10-Feb-15 13:43:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sparechange Tue 10-Feb-15 14:13:15

Elsie, if there was DV and abuse, and the friend wanted to protect her new baby from this man, and knowing about the DoB etc, why on EARTH would she have his friends and family as her friends on facebook, and why on EARTH would she ask them to delete themselves so as not to see her upcoming birth announcement and presumably photos?
You'd delete them yourself, block if neccessary and get on with life.
She just sounds like a huge drama llama

CowardlyDog Tue 10-Feb-15 18:41:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CowardlyDog Tue 10-Feb-15 18:42:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frusso Tue 10-Feb-15 18:46:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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