My DD had 4th birthday party at weekend. A lady from school that I've become quite good friends with ( play dates, trips to cinema, coffee etc) came with her daughter (who ill call Nancy) who is same age.
She has an older sibling 9 yes old (who I'll call Isla) who didn't come to the party. I hadn't formally invited her, but had assumed she would come along if she fancied it.
Anyway, party was a great success, 30 kids, a few older siblings came too, some had texted to ask if OK, & some just turned up, & that was fine with me as I'd deliberately made extra food etc in case. We had a bouncy castle & face painter and everyone seemed happy. Nancy & her mum left smiling.
Next day I get a text to say " just to warn you Isla is planning to a accost you in school yard to ask why she wasn't invited to the party. Am trying to gently dissuade her from this plan but she is sure there is something she can do to be invited next time! Hopefully she'll have forgotten all about it by next seeing you- but just in case!"
I replied to say I was sorry to hear Isla was upset, it was thoughtless of me not to have made it clearer to everyone that siblings were welcome , and will give her an extra special party bag plus some face paints next time I see her.
No reply from friend that afternoon, nor by bedtime. I'm sat feeling dreadful as I know Isla is a sensitive child & has recently suffered a bereavement, so am now thinking I've added to her current upset.
I therefore decide to sent a text before bed, " I really do feel dreadful about Isla, guess I just assumed she would come along if she fancied it. I'm now kicking myself that I did not properly invite her. I know she's still grieving too, hope she's OK, sorry again for my oversight. Love mexxxxx
No reply.
Next day on train into work get text, " Hi , please don't do that- I think it will make her feel worse! She'll forget all about it in a while".
WTF?!!! So I spend whole day feeling awful, confused, bewildered and cross that my friend has offered me no reassurance whatsoever, despite knowing I'm worrying I've upset her daughter!!!
She refused my offer of a party bag via text, saying it will, " remind her she may have missed out".
Can anyone shed any light on this???....why did she feel the need to worry me, & then refused to let me try and make amends?
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Friend sent me werid text after party!
110 replies
monkina · 09/02/2015 20:29
OP posts:
zzzzz ·
09/02/2015 20:43
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