Here's the story. DS1 is 13, DS2 9, DS3 6 and DD 10 months. We have a 4 bed house.
DS3 has autism and needs his own bedroom, somewhere to get away from everything when he needs to and calm down when things get too much for him.
DS2 is great and doesn't mind sharing his room at all but DS1 is a few days away from being 13, is going through puberty and spending a lot of time in his room reading and playing xbox (when its his turn) etc. He really wants his privacy.
He knows the situation of course and has agreed to share with DS2 (who is so loud and restless and has mild ADD) but I'm wondering if I can put it off for another year?
DD is still in with us, we are still going through the "putting the soother back in ten times a night" phase so we won't be moving her for a while yet. She always has someone with her until she falls asleep and doesn't really like being alone (my fault but I really don't mind, she is my last baby and I know it will only last a year or two)
So I'm thinking of keeping DD in with us until she is 2 and ready for a bed and her own room and then we can make a big deal of it and she will understand what's going on.
DH doesn't mind either (we both love her in with us tbh and she sleeps through any "quiet cuddle time" we may have ) so what do you think?
Should I just get it over with and put DS1 and DS2 in together? Would I be making things worse by putting it off or will it all go the way I have planned it in my (probably too) optimistic head?
My daughter was in with us until three and a bit - she had her own room but having the cot so close was handy and comfortable. In fact she only moved in the end because we needed her spot for a wardrobe (yes a strange priority). There's no rules about this, do what works for you and your family. We never had any 'cuddle time' issues either!
I would keep dd in with you for at least another year. We are in a similar situation, 4 bed. dd1 is 16 and needs her own space, dd2 has asd and needs own room, dd3 and ds share. We have eleven month old twins still in our room shortly to be joined by dc7 in three weeks. Everyone is happy with the situation. I really miss my little ones when they go in their own rooms.
The only problem I see is you are delaying your DS's sharing another year and it's not going to be any easier on them next year. Is there any way you could find a better long term solution?
Then again I'm not really a believer that all children need their own room, that's a luxury. When I complained about sharing with my sister my mum pointed out she had to share with my dad. I definitely had the better deal out of the two of us.
We had ds2 in with us until he was 2 whilst we converted the loft into another bedroom. It was fine, although I was glad to move out. He still sleeps through anything - light, noise, earthquakes... which I think stems from having to put up with us for so long.
I think it is fine too, our 8 year old still spends half of the week in our bed and didn't move into her own room until she was 3. I think the later your sons move in together the easier it will be too, both of them more mature must be better mustn't it?