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That awkward moment when...

(58 Posts)
QueenLego Sat 07-Feb-15 19:15:41

Your friends text asking why you're not at the wedding yet and it dawns on you that you have an evening invite and they are all invited to the day. AIBU to feel hurt?

Would you still go?

ssd Sat 07-Feb-15 19:16:33

yes, but it would hurt....

CrystalHaze Sat 07-Feb-15 19:17:27

Not going seems a bit petty.

You were happy enough to be going to the evening do before you found out someone else you know was at the day event. Why is it different now?

WD41 Sat 07-Feb-15 19:17:43

Yanbu to feel hurt. I'd still go though.

mywholelifeisaheadache Sat 07-Feb-15 19:17:47

No. I'd be honest and say I hadn't had a day time invite and have made other plans

BigRedBall Sat 07-Feb-15 19:18:48

That's crap. Yanbu to feel hurt but id still go.

Hassled Sat 07-Feb-15 19:18:54

You should still go. Texting friends will judge the couple who didn't invite you, rather than you.

NickiFury Sat 07-Feb-15 19:19:00

No I wouldn't bother. It's not petty, it's just not worth the effort.

QueenLego Sat 07-Feb-15 19:19:50

Suppose I'm just struggling to understand why I'm the only one out of our friendship group not to be invited to the whole day. Just feel awkward walking in now blush

Gasosaurus Sat 07-Feb-15 19:20:03

I assume you've said "YES" to the evening invite. And you didn't know other friends were going for the whole thing, so I think you should go and get on with it and find out why you weren't invited for the whole thing.

CrystalHaze Sat 07-Feb-15 19:21:55

Those saying that they wouldn't go, why is that? If you were happy to go to the evening only in the first place, why does it matter if someone tose is at the daytime stuff?

There could be any number of reasons why other friends were invited to the day do and you weren't.

mywholelifeisaheadache Sat 07-Feb-15 19:23:00

I wouldn't have accepted an evening invite. I hate segregated weddings.

McSqueezy Sat 07-Feb-15 19:23:55

No, I wouldn't go. But I can be quite a petty person. I would feel upset and a bit annoyed.

TwitterWooooo Sat 07-Feb-15 19:24:15

I would be hurt, but ask myself honestly why I had evening only invite. Do they work together, been school/uni together ect, all things being equal, I would probably not bother either, I'd be too "poorly". Some may its childish but I am very insecure and would just feel out of favour.

YoullLikeItNotaLot Sat 07-Feb-15 19:24:20

We'd accepted an evening invite then declined when we realised (a few weeks before) that we were the only people out if our group of friends not invited to the daytime. We felt a little slighted but also thought it'd feel weird walking in and seeing all of our other friends who'd been there all day. What was particularly annoying was the couple had stayed with us many times and I thought we were pretty close. I know a lot of people would think we were touch and BU but we just decided to save ourselves the not inconsiderable expense and stay home.

Spadequeen Sat 07-Feb-15 19:24:49

Yanbu to feel hurt but I would still go.

QueenLego Sat 07-Feb-15 19:26:05

I've forced myself to go but really don't want to. Dreading walking in and seeing the pitying faces. I feel like my friends will have been discussing it all day. Bet they wish they hadn't sent the text messages!

AFingerofFudge Sat 07-Feb-15 19:30:13

I would just front it out with your friends, even if you're feeling hurt and say to them "gosh I wonder why I wasn't invited to the whole day like you were, I feel a bit hurt" and then put it to one side and get on with the drinking and the dancing....

Spadequeen Sat 07-Feb-15 19:30:24

I would go in with my head held high but to be honest, it would change the friendship for me.

I've had something happen recently to me re a party with a group of what I thought was close friends, except it was re a childrens party.

RainbowFlutterby Sat 07-Feb-15 19:35:13

Are you sure you weren't invited to the whole day? I've misread an invitation before now blush

Remember that the bride and groom probably won't notice if you don't go.

BoffinMum Sat 07-Feb-15 19:36:28

I am not sure what I would do. Text back probably and say I was not invited to the day bit, only the evening. Then get the hump and not go. Not saying that's very gracious, but it's how I would feel.

SantanaLopez Sat 07-Feb-15 19:39:26

I would go in with my head held high but to be honest, it would change the friendship for me.

This. Good luck OP flowers

Sallygoroundthemoon Sat 07-Feb-15 19:41:05

I'd be hurt too but just smile, go and ride it out.

ChippingInGluggingOn Sat 07-Feb-15 19:42:18

I don't know. It depends on a lot of things.

However, given your friends have sent you several texts to see where you are indicates that they haven't been discussing it as a group (prior to you replying) and that there's not a clear reason why you wouldn't have been invited.

Definitely re check the invitation.

It would change my friendship with the bride though if we were one 'group' of friends and I'd want to know why.

Tulipblank Sat 07-Feb-15 19:44:37

I went to a wedding once when the couple supposed to be sat next to us on the table didn't turn up. Thought it was a bit rude until they came to the evening do saying they only had an evening invite. Turns out the bride and groom had sent them an evening only invite by accident!

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