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To demand he doesn't drink drive

(64 Posts)
Quadrophonic Sat 07-Feb-15 13:40:05

Husband goes out on a Friday night, most weeks. Every 3 weeks he works a Saturday morning and in sick of warning him that driving at 5.30am is not a good idea if you've drunk 5 pints the night before and got home at 11pm.

Last night he watched the rugby and stayed out till 12.30, came in absolutely legless and came straight to bed. I work every Saturday morning so went off to work. Spoke to son on fb who said that they were off to football at 9.20am!

Rang husband who insisted he was fine and ok to drive, he wouldn't listen at all so I spent all morning in work in between seething and worrying that he was going to be stopped and or breathalysed.

I've just got home and we've had a blazing row. I think it's completely out of the question that he should drink 8 / 9 pints like he did last night then drive this morning. He can't see the problem as he feels ok and it's an hour per pint to leave the system not the 1 hour per UNIT - 2 in a pint.

He sees his Friday nights out as his God given right and everything has to fit around it. He has no drinking off switch and cannot go out and only have a few pints. I've warned him he will blow our lives apart if he gets caught, lose his job, possibly kill someone, possibly go to prison, be banned, fined etc but I dint think he thinks it will ever happen to him.

His parting shot was that I don't have any interest in the kids hobbies and if I did I would arrange for my son to have a lift so then he doesn't have to drive!! Cheeky barsteward!!! I work every Saturday morning!! I told him that if he had any interest in his kids he wouldn't risk their lives by drink driving with them.

Apart from asking the local pcso to come and have a word with him I don't know what else will make him listen, he's 50, has always done it so can't see the problem

Eminado Sat 07-Feb-15 13:43:44

Didnt want your post to go unanswered.

I completely agree with you.

Also what example is he setting for your kids?

I would report him to yhe police. But appreciate that is easier said than done.


minkGrundy Sat 07-Feb-15 13:44:06

1) take his keys on a Friday night
2) buy a breathaliser test or several in the shops. Get him to prove he is fit to drive on Saturday morning. He may get a shock.

(Don't know where you are but if it is north of border he'd almost certainly be over the limit.)

CalleighDoodle Sat 07-Feb-15 13:44:08

Hes most likely drink driving with your son. He is taking no responsibility. You need to find another way to get your son to football.

expatinscotland Sat 07-Feb-15 13:45:03

Your husband is a selfish drunk, and today, he could have killed your son. I would not hesitate to call the police on him before he kills your son and someone else's.

I would actually throw such a selfish alcoholic out of the house.

BuzzardBird Sat 07-Feb-15 13:45:48

I would get a breathalyser so that he can see for himself if he is over the limit the next morning.

expatinscotland Sat 07-Feb-15 13:47:22

8-9 pints. Some heavies are over 3 units a pint. He is drinking at least 24 units in one sitting.

And his solution is for you to fit your lives around his boozing.

BuzzardBird Sat 07-Feb-15 13:48:05

home kit

redexpat Sat 07-Feb-15 13:48:51

Thats really frustrating. A friend of mine in the us had a beathaliser fitted in the car, so the engine wouldnt start until thebreath test was clean. If hes so sure that hes fine to drive then having one wouldnt bother him would it?

This friend got caught the morning after the night before. in fact everyone i know who has been done for it got caught the morning after.

expatinscotland Sat 07-Feb-15 13:49:50

If you are in Scotland, he is definitely over the limit 9 hours after drinking 25-30 units of alcohol only stopping at midnight.

ImperialBlether Sat 07-Feb-15 13:53:55

What kind of beer is he drinking, do you know? I checked 9 pints of draught Bass and it came up as 22.5 units. It's also 2000 calories - is he overweight?

smellsofelderberries Sat 07-Feb-15 13:54:33

YA definitely NBU. I would call the police. His luck will run out one you want you child to be in the car when that happens?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sat 07-Feb-15 14:01:20

Buy some cheap breathalysers and get him to do it in the morning, that will answer it one way or another.
It's possible he's not over the limit.

MrsMinton Sat 07-Feb-15 14:08:03

Take his car keys away is the first solution.

However I would be more concerned about his attitude to drinking that much every Friday and refusing to change it for anything. It's damaging his body and your relationship.

whatisforteamum Sat 07-Feb-15 14:16:29

tricky one,does anyone else go the same way to football so your son could catch a lift? I am zero tolerance on drink driving and agree he may well be over the limit.I have a hard time trying to convince DH he is too tired to drive.

HighwayDragon Sat 07-Feb-15 14:31:07

Report him for DD. Or leave. I would not be with someone who would put other people at risk, especially my children.

hamptoncourt Sat 07-Feb-15 14:35:59

I would have taken his keys or told him I would report him to police if he trued to drive.

I have zero tolerance for drink drivers.

This man is driving drunk with your child

Time for the nuclear option.

PigletJohn Sat 07-Feb-15 14:40:41

this sometimes crops up with bar licensees.

It is considered good practice to attempt to persuade people not to drink and drive; to offer to call a taxi for them and to look after their car until they can collect it.

But you can't reason with a drunk, so the next step is to call the police if you aware they are about to drive away. If you failed to do that you might be accused of some kind of liability in the event of an accident.

This would be more complicated if the drink driver was your partner.

PigletJohn Sat 07-Feb-15 14:42:45


When a heavy drinker tells you s/he's had one drink, or five, or ten, it's always more.

Buxtonstill Sat 07-Feb-15 14:46:34

You may not care if your children are being driven by someone under the influence of alcohol, but don't be so selfish and think of other people. Your children, and otter peoples deserve protection from this arrogant arsehole.
If you do/say nothing it makes you just as guilty as him.

RJnomore Sat 07-Feb-15 14:49:32

There is no May well or might be, he will be well over the limit.

I don't think he will stop unless he gets caught though.

JanineStHubbins Sat 07-Feb-15 14:51:42

Your DH sounds like an arse.

As an aside, metabolising the alcohol begins from the moment of consumption, not from the moment you stop drinking.

NerrSnerr Sat 07-Feb-15 14:52:05

Nobody would drive my child if I thought for one second they were over the limit. Call the police when he drives and you suspect he's over the limit. What if he killed your child?

GlitzAndGigglesx Sat 07-Feb-15 14:58:23

I can't stand the whole argument of "I'll be fine to drive in the morning". No you won't there is still alcohol in your system ffs! He's incredibly selfish for putting your child's life at risk as well as pedestrians. When I've been hungover before I can't focus as well as I would fully sober so god knows how these idiots think they can drive

Andrewofgg Sat 07-Feb-15 15:00:13

Do the home kit job once. And only once. See if it gets the message home.

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