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To ask would you find it odd

(41 Posts)
betweenmarchandmay Thu 05-Feb-15 20:05:37

If you knew parents who lost a baby aged eighteen months and a few years later had another baby of the same gender and called them the same name?

No judgement - genuine question.

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 05-Feb-15 20:08:46


BreakfastAtStephanies Thu 05-Feb-15 20:09:38

Yes. Odd and creepy. I can be superstitious but this feels wrong.

Findingthisdifficult1234 Thu 05-Feb-15 20:09:44

Very odd!!

disneymum3 Thu 05-Feb-15 20:09:47


mrsnoon Thu 05-Feb-15 20:11:29

Yes, feels a bit like trying to rewrite history and almost erase the first child.

nocoolnamesleft Thu 05-Feb-15 20:12:20

I would find it extremely odd. But I would make damn sure that they never knew I thought that way. And I believe that if you go back a few generations, it was a much more common practice (back when a lot more children died young). Especially for family names. So...I would find it odd...but if it works for them, not having been through the loss they have experienced, I would think I had no right to judge.

louisejxxx Thu 05-Feb-15 20:12:38

Yes very odd - if it were me I would find it hard every time I heard the child's name that I'd lost...The thought to use it again would never even enter my mind.

PestoSnowissimos Thu 05-Feb-15 20:12:49


Odd & sad sad

3littlebadgers Thu 05-Feb-15 20:13:45

Yes, but I guess it depends on if there is a cultural reason. For example,my midwife is named after her dead older sister which in her country is a sign of respect. She herself would have rathered her own unique name and feel like she had a lot to live up to/compensate for.

ineedtogetthisout Thu 05-Feb-15 20:14:10

It's not something I would choose to do, although I gave my dc my children's names as middle names.

I would absolutely never judge a grieving parent though. We all find our own ways to deal with this crushing pain that we live with each and every day.

findingherfeet Thu 05-Feb-15 20:15:01

Yes but how sad, perhaps just a way to honour their LO in their own way. They won't forget or replace him or her.

MrsTawdry Thu 05-Feb-15 20:15:06

No. I wouldn't. Sean O'Casey was named for his dead's something which some people find comforting.

NorwaySpruce Thu 05-Feb-15 20:15:08

I wouldn't find it odd, because it was pretty common to have that happen when my parents were growing up.

They are in their 70s now, and it was much more common to lose a child in infancy back then, so they know of a few occasions when it happened within our family.

EyelinerQueen Thu 05-Feb-15 20:15:39

Yes. I would find it odd.

DP's grandparents did this. FIL was the second 'Jim' (not really Jim) and once in a fight his mother said that the wrong Jim had died shock shock .

TwelveLeggedWalk Thu 05-Feb-15 20:15:49

Personally I would find it odd and jarring yes. But I would assume there were cultural/family tradition reasons for it and try very hard to question it (mentally, I'd never question anyone's choices like that aloud).

SocialMediaAddict Thu 05-Feb-15 20:17:33


Dragonlette Thu 05-Feb-15 20:23:01

I think I'd find it odd, but I'd never judge anything that helps grieving parents.

It happened a lot in my family a few generations ago. When doing our family tree we found one generation with 6 children of the exact same name. The first 5 of them died before their first birthday sad sad , the sixth one was my great-great-great grandad (possibly a few more greats)

attheendoftheday Thu 05-Feb-15 20:23:06

I wouldn't find it odd. I think that if it feels ok to the parents then it's fine.

TRexingInAsda Thu 05-Feb-15 20:26:28

No, I would find it incredibly sad.

lljkk Thu 05-Feb-15 20:30:57

I'm not sure what odd means.
I'd be a little surprised and half wondering if they might expect too much of baby 2.
It used to be very common, though, you see this a lot in Family history records.

ACSlater Thu 05-Feb-15 20:32:30

Not odd but sad. They must be in a lot of pain to do that.

ourglass Thu 05-Feb-15 20:33:43

I wouldn't batter an eyelid to be honest.

watchingthedetectives Thu 05-Feb-15 20:34:16

I probably wouldn't do it but I think if it helps the parents after such a tragic time then fair enough.

InQuiteAPickle Thu 05-Feb-15 20:38:49

Yes, I think I would think it odd and sad but on the other hand - is it much different from naming a baby after, say, a deceased Grandparent?

I met someone who had had still born twins, a boy and a girl. They had since had two more children and their oldest boy had the same name as their baby boy who died. sad

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