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to wonder which major politician would make the best lover?

(414 Posts)
DamFineBeaver Wed 04-Feb-15 20:00:17

I'm not sure Milliband can breathe well through his nose, so he's definitely out.

My money's on Vince Cable.

ahbollocks Wed 04-Feb-15 20:01:58

Gordon Brown. sortof mysterious and moody.

punygod Wed 04-Feb-15 20:02:44

Wash your mouth out!

and your chuff while you're at it

The only way I would ever shag a politician is if I did a Samsa and woke up as a praying mantis, then at least I would end up killing the fucker afterwards. Though I'd probably skip the shagging.

HoneyIsBeePoo Wed 04-Feb-15 20:03:20

Maybe Barrack...or I reckon Clegg would be a trier grin

dingit Wed 04-Feb-15 20:03:29

Boris! For the simple reason he would make me laugh smile

paxtecum Wed 04-Feb-15 20:03:41

I feel queasy now.

ourglass Wed 04-Feb-15 20:03:54

I've had a sex dream about Gordon Brown before and he was good, does that count as real life experience?

tenwrigglywigglycaterpillars Wed 04-Feb-15 20:04:05

Yes yabu, criiiiinge.

Now if Ryan Gosling were to take up politics....<drifts off to happy place>

kittentwo Wed 04-Feb-15 20:04:50

Yes dingit boris for me too for the same reason smile

AuntieStella Wed 04-Feb-15 20:06:09

I don't fancy any of them.

But I suspect Boris is the only one who knows how to have fun.

tenwrigglywigglycaterpillars Wed 04-Feb-15 20:06:12

ourglass - too much slow cooked cock before bed can give you funny dreams....

headlesslambrini Wed 04-Feb-15 20:06:38

Ed Balls - at least he has the right name!

ourglass Wed 04-Feb-15 20:07:43

Hahahahahaha ten

Threeplus1 Wed 04-Feb-15 20:08:56

YABU runs-off-to-find-bleach-for-brain

Charitybelle Wed 04-Feb-15 20:09:00

Clegg is definitely the best looking, but prob a bit of a damp squib if his politics are anything to go by.
You'd prob have a better time with Theresa May than any of the current male members of the cabinet or shadow cabinet grin

DadOnIce Wed 04-Feb-15 20:09:19

The view from dadworld:

Theresa May would be utter filth, all the more so as she comes across as an an evil cold-hearted so-and-so. Same goes for Sarah Palin, only with boots.

Labour - it has to be Caroline Flint.

Lib Dems - unquestionably dirty fun to be had with Lynne Featherstone.

ourglass Wed 04-Feb-15 20:09:41

Yes I reckon Boris is a beast

OnlyLovers Wed 04-Feb-15 20:09:44

Oh, Obama, hands down.

Zoe Williams once wrote a piece about this (or at least it mentioned this; don't know if it was the subject of the whole piece!) and said Clegg would be 'overly polite, clammy hands'. I cannot shake that impression.

Toughasoldboots Wed 04-Feb-15 20:09:59

Clegg if he had a personality.

Bluebell84 Wed 04-Feb-15 20:11:44

clegg a the way!! he is sexy!! shame about the politics

stubbornstains Wed 04-Feb-15 20:12:08

I can vividly imagine Ed Miliband handcuffed to a radiator, calling me "mistress" need to thank me for that image, it's my pleasure grin.

queenmools Wed 04-Feb-15 20:12:18

Ed Balls is a sexy beast!

ourglass Wed 04-Feb-15 20:12:34

Stubborn that's grim

Bluebell84 Wed 04-Feb-15 20:12:39

clegg in UK

US I would say clinton smilesmile

HoneyIsBeePoo Wed 04-Feb-15 20:12:39

OnlyLovers in the filthy dream I had about him in a pregnancy-hormone haze, his hands were not clammy. wink

nulgirl Wed 04-Feb-15 20:15:05

I bet Nick Clegg is. His wife is amazing - she doesn't look like the kind of woman who would put up with a below-par perfoamce in the bedroom.

Mrsstarlord Wed 04-Feb-15 20:15:59

Yes. YABU grin

Barack Obama blush

stubbornstains Wed 04-Feb-15 20:16:03

Yanis Varoufakis anyone?

tenwrigglywigglycaterpillars Wed 04-Feb-15 20:21:40

Voting for himself....desperate measures.

DamFineBeaver Wed 04-Feb-15 20:23:04

Agree about Sarah Palin. No vanilla there.

Boris?? That's virtually bestiality.

Neil Kinnock, anyone?

kewtogetin Wed 04-Feb-15 20:24:17

Tristram hunt - filth.

Mostlyjustaluker Wed 04-Feb-15 20:25:28

Not British but Hans Linde.

MrsFring Wed 04-Feb-15 20:28:15

Gordon Brown. Bet he goes at it like a jack-hammer.

HoneyIsBeePoo Wed 04-Feb-15 20:29:26

Tony, a top class wanker since 1997. grin

SaucyJack Wed 04-Feb-15 20:30:52

Karen Danczuk (in her own imagination)

sunnydayinmay Wed 04-Feb-15 20:32:18

I knew I should've left this thread alone....

Clegg looks like he has clammy hands. If I had to pick one, probably Balls. Least offensive.

justmyview Wed 04-Feb-15 20:35:46

Bleurgh....... can't say any of them do it for me

DoristheNovice Wed 04-Feb-15 20:35:53

Obama for sure, but if it had to be a UK politician then maybe Clegg.

Now, if Henry Cavill would become a politician..... mmmmmgrin

sunnydayinmay Wed 04-Feb-15 20:37:21

Can't believe I've wasted 30 seconds of my life on this, but there appears to be a website called

OhMrGove Wed 04-Feb-15 20:39:17

Michael Gove

George Osborne. Mmmm filth.

sunnydayinmay Wed 04-Feb-15 20:40:17

cosytoaster Wed 04-Feb-15 20:43:29

Knocking on a bit, admittedly, but I'd go for Ken Clarke wink

bumpertobumper Wed 04-Feb-15 20:45:06

chuka umuna for me

Hassled Wed 04-Feb-15 20:45:12

Why has no-one mentioned Ed Balls yet?

SwedishEdith Wed 04-Feb-15 20:46:06

Chuka Umunna

grin @ His (Clegg's) wife is amazing - she doesn't look like the kind of woman who would put up with a below-par perfoamce in the bedroom I bet she's on here and reads that

vivideye Wed 04-Feb-15 20:46:46

stubborn you made me laugh!
quite fancy that scottish labour mp, the new ginger one. Not so much that I can remember his name tho.....

SardineQueen Wed 04-Feb-15 20:46:53

Dear god you are being utterly unreasonable even to think about it.

Soexcitedforthisyear Wed 04-Feb-15 20:47:55

Clegg for sure, he's quite nice looking, not gorgeous but not offensive and comes over very well on his phone in on LBC. I'm a bit partial to david miliband if he counts?

Janethegirl Wed 04-Feb-15 20:49:53

No, just no, none of them grin

babybarrister Wed 04-Feb-15 20:51:01

Mr grey pants John Major - came with top recommendation from Edwina grin

Seriously the hot new Greek finance Minster - thinking woman's crumpet - has a name that sounds v suggestive ....

satsumagirl Wed 04-Feb-15 20:52:38

OMG Chuka U all the way. Hot hot hot and hawt. Clegg maybe

HairyOrk Wed 04-Feb-15 20:53:13

I imagine Nick Clegg would be very apologetic.
I imagine Boris would giggly the moment he got his willy out.
I imagine that Gordon would fall asleep.

stubbornstains Wed 04-Feb-15 20:54:20

Yessss BB! Yanis Varoufakis! In his bike leathers! Off to veto TTIP and save us all! (swoons).

treaclesoda Wed 04-Feb-15 20:54:29

I will never recover from the horror of this thread. Some thoughts can't be un-thought.

Butterflywings168 Wed 04-Feb-15 21:02:24

Yanis Varoufakis looks a bit like my recently-became-ex-p. So I probably would <cries>

TheTravellingLemon Wed 04-Feb-15 21:02:54

Boris certainly has had the practice.

David Cameron is a bit too arrogant to be generous in the bedroom, if you see what I mean.

George Osborne would be fumbling around like a virgin on prom night.

Tony Blair would probably want to look in a mirror.

Nick Clegg would be eager to please, but it would be over very quickly and leave you with a funny taste in your mouth.

Obama would look fab and promise the world, but when push came to shove, he'd just want a cuddle.

David Miliband would be replaced by his creepy brother half way through.

I'm going for Daniel Poulter. Hardly a world famous statesman but that might make he try harder.grin

TrojanWhore Wed 04-Feb-15 21:05:53

Is this Ed's sex face?

JoffreyBaratheon Wed 04-Feb-15 21:07:27

Gordon Brown when (much) younger was very Byronic, I always thought. I would.

There's not a tory alive I'd fancy - they are all like slithering slugs - oily and fat and vile. Or like Mr Burns.

MeganChips Wed 04-Feb-15 21:08:19

Shudder Trojan!

I'd give Alan Johnson a go. He's intelligent, funny and normal and I bet he'd be very giving.

JoffreyBaratheon Wed 04-Feb-15 21:08:20

Also I'm probably ther wrong gender for most (male) tory MPs.

FrancesNiadova Wed 04-Feb-15 21:09:33

Ooh, anyone got ideas for snog, sh@g, avoid?

chantico Wed 04-Feb-15 21:10:46

Boris wouldn't take himself seriously....

tenwrigglywigglycaterpillars Wed 04-Feb-15 21:13:40

To the bat cave...!!

vestandknickers Wed 04-Feb-15 21:13:42

How has nobody mentioned Putin?

He looks like a man who knows what he's doing.

Obama a close second.

Gordon Brown would be my UK choice!

rumbleinthrjungle Wed 04-Feb-15 21:14:10

Oh God. The biggest turn off in history. PMQ makes me want to slap legs all round and go and drink gin in the bath, not shag anyone.

If I have to choose I'm going to leave Tony Blair having a deep and meaningful wank with the mirror suggested above - only because he'll never even notice I'm gone - and head for a nunnery.


Fadingmemory Wed 04-Feb-15 21:25:21

Another vote for Boris - he would be such a laugh. I like the blonde mop too!

Nerf Wed 04-Feb-15 21:31:15

Michael heseltine in his prime...

Petradreaming Wed 04-Feb-15 21:34:16

I went through a phase of fancying Alan Johnson.... and Simon from the hairy bikers. But I went through early menopause. I blamed that.

Electriclaundryland Wed 04-Feb-15 21:38:48

I think this is the most disturbing thread I've read on mumsnet.

Rivercam Wed 04-Feb-15 21:40:03

I didn't like any, until The Last Leg, when I thought Clegg was quite cute. Hadn't really rated him before.

Justgetthruthegoddamday Wed 04-Feb-15 21:44:33

Clegg could go for hours

HermioneWeasley Wed 04-Feb-15 21:47:27

This thread has made me LOL.

I appalled my mother once my saying out loud I would like to be the filling in an Obama sandwich. Come on - they are a seriously good looking couple grin

HouseBaelish Wed 04-Feb-15 21:49:29

Nicholas Sarkozy. I bet he's amazing <sigh>

CoupdeFoudre Wed 04-Feb-15 21:54:27

David Cameron would be rough and not as good as he thinks is his. Bet he has good girth though.shock

Clegg would call shagging "making love" and would cry as he came.

Ed would be really eager and it'd end in a cup of tea and damp underwear.

Obama it is. Every which way.

Shockers Wed 04-Feb-15 21:54:39

I read something about sharks before I went to bed last night, then dreamt about them.

I'm regretting reading this thread tonight...

AvaCrowder Wed 04-Feb-15 21:56:03

Putin. I can't imagine that being a boring bonk.

NoArmaniNoPunani Wed 04-Feb-15 21:58:20

I'd give Ed a sympathy shag.

Clegg looks like the type to let me bum him with a strap on

meandjulio Wed 04-Feb-15 22:00:01

Angela Merkel
Helle Thorning-Schmidt
Alexis Tsipras
all rolling around on a bed of Euros together

That sexymp site absolutely did my head in.

BigBlackCatLady Wed 04-Feb-15 22:00:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meandjulio Wed 04-Feb-15 22:01:04

TBH Ed Miliband is very much my type.

Mrsfrumble Wed 04-Feb-15 22:02:04

Obama. Nice combination of funny, skinny and geeky.

BigBlackCatLady Wed 04-Feb-15 22:02:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lauralouise8 Wed 04-Feb-15 22:06:02

Not Eric Pickles, that is for sure.

Hobbes8 Wed 04-Feb-15 22:07:02

Andy Burnham's pretty attractive in real life. I've seen Boris Johnson cycling down Whitehall. He looked ever so pleased with himself and was looking around to see who had noticed him.

redexpat Wed 04-Feb-15 22:07:11

Ive heard that major is absolutely charming, as is clinton.

Helle thorning schmidt of denmark is stunning. As are the leafers of the coalition parties. google enhedslisten to see their leader johanne. in fact the average beauty of the danish politicians is pretty bloody high.

Have also read that sarkozy was nicknamed speedy, hence marrying carla.

Angela merchel speaking german is very sexy. no, really!

Andrewofgg Wed 04-Feb-15 22:07:55

Grafitti circa 1977:

In one handwriting


In another handwriting


ShatnersBassoon Wed 04-Feb-15 22:11:34

Ed Balls. He looks capable. And meaty.

scaevola Wed 04-Feb-15 22:11:48

I want a man like Putin - there's a whole genre of Russian pop on this theme.

SquirmOfEels Wed 04-Feb-15 22:12:55

'Ed Balls. He looks capable. And meaty.'

Yeah, but he wouldn't remember your name.

ShatnersBassoon Wed 04-Feb-15 22:14:49

He would, I'm called Simon.

SaucyJack Wed 04-Feb-15 22:16:08

Having thought about it properly now, I reckon a young Boris Yeltsin would've given you value for money. He had a certain devil-may-care charm about him.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 04-Feb-15 22:16:56

I reckon Miliband cries after sex.

Cameron would have all the sex appeal of a beached whale.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 04-Feb-15 22:17:52

Barack Obama
Gordon Brown
Tony Blair, he is very very charming

I think Tristram Hunt maybe worth a go too

AnyFucker Wed 04-Feb-15 22:21:22

William Hague

He'd be all gruff Yorkshire thankfulness

queenmools Wed 04-Feb-15 22:25:11

I've just remembered when I was heavily pregnant I had an accidental sexy time dream about Nigel Farage. It was disturbing. When the baby was born she looked a bit like him when she cried. I had to keep reminding myself that it was just a dream.

SinisterBuggyMonth Wed 04-Feb-15 22:25:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentProvocateur Wed 04-Feb-15 22:26:03

Another vote for Gordon Brown here. blush

RigglinJigglin Wed 04-Feb-15 22:28:38

Stumbled onto this thread by accident, ye gods....

I might have a view of the House of Lords before I got to chamber <high brow>

Georgina1975 Wed 04-Feb-15 22:33:10

Yes. My vote goes for Andy Burnham too, beautiful eyes.

BeaLola Wed 04-Feb-15 22:33:10

Having laughed, cringed, and wept reading this I'm relieved that I can think of no one suitable but then sad that there is no one ! Perhaps I should change sides ?

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