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To let him get on with it?

(8 Posts)
HellKitty Wed 04-Feb-15 13:32:10

DS (17) has got back with an ex after a break of 8 months. She's a liar, a sneak, she bullies him emotionally and is generally a head fuck. We, me and DP, boosted his ego, talked for hours, hugged and tried to make him feel better after he finished it the last time due to her awfulness. I did make her feel welcome, would cook and chat and even made her a fecking Christmas stocking. Even his friends don't like her - obviously she tried to keep him away from them (sigh).

DP wants us, me, to back off and let him get on with it despite both of our disappointment in this starting up again. I have to keep reminding myself it's his life and he's 17.

What would you do, oh wise ones?

Davsmum Wed 04-Feb-15 13:39:04

Your DP is right and I don't think there is anything you can do. You could tell your DS that you are not sure the girl is right for him and that you are concerned but that's about it.
I doubt it will last anyway?

HellKitty Wed 04-Feb-15 13:43:18

Thanks Davsmum. Fingers crossed it won't last. He told me they were 'talking' again, I told him last night that 'if' he was seeing her I didn't want his grades to suffer (again) and that he needs to remember what she's like. He didn't deny that he was seeing her. My gut says to let him get on with it but my brain is telling me I'm the worlds worst mother confused

icelollycraving Wed 04-Feb-15 13:58:16

I think I'd say to him that you don't like the idea of him getting hurt but will allow him to make his own choices. Don't make them star crossed lovers & hopefully it'll run its course.

Davsmum Wed 04-Feb-15 14:07:11

You are not the worlds worst mother! That would be someone who tried to control him instead of letting make his own mistakes and learn things all by himself.
You must be a lovely mother to be concerned and to think about what you should be doing.
I feel for you because I have been in the same position.

HellKitty Wed 04-Feb-15 14:16:23

Thanks smile
Both myself, with their dad, and DP have been in controlling relationships which probably makes us a bit more 'ARGGGHHHH!!!' Than we would normally!

cailindana Wed 04-Feb-15 14:19:51

Getting involved will only push him away and might possibly encourage him to rebel and be with her to prove you wrong.

Step back, smile, be supportive, and be there when (hopefully) it ends again. If they talk about marriage you can start your evil MIL routine in the hopes it'll scare her off!

HellKitty Wed 04-Feb-15 14:24:53

Hah! I will be the mil that gets written about in here regularly!

He has mentioned that she knows she has a fair bit of making up to do to me. I think she's too chickenshit which hopefully, to him, will speak volumes.

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