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To think this is really uncalled for

(62 Posts)
GraysAnalogy Wed 04-Feb-15 11:24:14

I recently ran a training session with some colleagues, people invited to attend included professionals of the field, students, and clients. At the end of each session we give out feedback sheets, people fill them in and we read them to see how we can improve. We get a lot of positive feedback, some minor niggles but that's all in the name of the game.

However I've read through the last ones and one comment has really got my back up: 'I'm not sure why the woman speaker had makeup and heels on'. hmm The person who wrote this was a woman too (feedback is anon but there's check boxes for gender, age etc for funding purposes)

I just don't see how this is relevant. I wore small heels (think office) and light makeup because I don't like it much anyway. It's sort of upset me really because instead of feeding back about the learning opportunity, they decided to pick on my appearance.

AIBU here, or is it something you yourself see as an issue?

LIZS Wed 04-Feb-15 11:26:38

Depends what the session was about and whether the delegates were told it was less formal. If that was your usual work attire I wouldn't take it personally.

sugarman Wed 04-Feb-15 11:26:44

Very sexist and random feedback.

You don't need to justify wearing heels or make up - to her or us.

TwinkieTwinkle Wed 04-Feb-15 11:26:47

Well that's a bit loopy...

JustCallMeDory Wed 04-Feb-15 11:26:56

Well, the person who wrote that is clearly an idiot. It's a silly comment to make.

Focus on the comments where someone had something worthwhile to say.

skylark2 Wed 04-Feb-15 11:27:13

What were you training them in?

If it was some sort of vigorous physical activity, then wearing heels and makeup would be odd.

If it was office-based work, sounds pretty normal to me.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Wed 04-Feb-15 11:27:27

Just some silly bint being well....a silly bint really. A stupid comment and not remotely helpful.

Forget about it. Not worth you worrying about. I'm sure you looked fine x

tiggytape Wed 04-Feb-15 11:30:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nomama Wed 04-Feb-15 11:30:27

Oh dear! You met a real life MNer who thinks women should not be enslaved to society's ideas of femininity and should be told so, at every opportunity!

That's neo-feminism for you!

GraysAnalogy Wed 04-Feb-15 11:32:06

skylark nothing vigorous, ortho and new techniques. Just talking through really.

Thanks for your replies, I now feel validated better.

I was a bit sad about it, now I'm more annoyed.

MrsRayOfSunshine Wed 04-Feb-15 11:32:51

Heels and a touch of make up as office wear? Outrageous!

On a serious note, I wouldn't pay attention to that, maybe a touch of jealously from this women? Who know, but don't let it get to you

BeeRayKay Wed 04-Feb-15 11:33:28

Ugh how pointless. Even it was phsyical activity, make up is still okay.

Heals also. You can always remove them.

I was on training the other week, wore flats, still removed them. Lol.

GraysAnalogy Wed 04-Feb-15 11:34:15

perhaps she'd have preferred my biker boots...

PeterParkerSays Wed 04-Feb-15 11:37:13

I can only think this was meant in the context of either a) the other speakers deliberately dressing down, so not looking "business like" or b) her being a client in a setting where staff wouldn't usually wear business dress. Did male presenters wear a tie, for example?

What other scores did she give you? - did she feel this impacted on what she got out of the session because she felt she was being talked at by an expert, for example, rather than being trained by someone who understood her?

It's an odd thing to write, but I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand without knowing more about the situation and how the session came about, mainly because you say it involved colleagues, students and clients; I would presume that it was a client who wrote this.

HedgehogsDontBite Wed 04-Feb-15 11:37:45

By 'ortho' do you mean they were bone/joint professionals? If so that may explain the hmm at wearing heels. Doesn't explain the makeup issue though.

TheListingAttic Wed 04-Feb-15 11:40:25

Shame you have no channel to reply OP: "Because ever since she grew into a big girl, she's been allowed to pick whatever the hell she wanted to wear. That's why!"

BathtimeFunkster Wed 04-Feb-15 11:42:20

It is absolutely uncalled for to write something like that.

It's not remotely useful feedback.

I'm sorry this happened and I hope it hasn't knocked your confidence flowers

squoosh Wed 04-Feb-15 11:42:49

Unless you were giving a seminar on outdoor survival skills I fail to see why this person would have thought heels and makeup were out of place.

PeppermintInfusion Wed 04-Feb-15 11:45:13

I've conducted training and had some random comments along these lines before (both with attendees I have known beforehand and never met before). I don't know, maybe it's like trolling, they like to do it because they see it as an opportunity to get away with it.

Cornettoninja Wed 04-Feb-15 11:46:02

I agree with it's just some silly bint taking the opportunity to put in black and white the kind of irrelevant crap she probably spouts all day.

Don't give it anymore thought - if that's all she was concentrating on it's her loss. Unprofessional twit

BathtimeFunkster Wed 04-Feb-15 11:48:14

Neo-feminism? grin

Yes, feminsists are well known for singling women out for personal remarks about their appearance. hmm

BathtimeFunkster Wed 04-Feb-15 11:49:54

Maybe it was a seminar on passing as a man?

YoullLikeItNotaLot Wed 04-Feb-15 11:50:19

Yes it was uncalled for. The only time it'd be irrelevant if what you were wearing hindered your presentation.

Having said that, I left some feedback which was negative for an in-house course. The person delivering it tackled me about it but I'd been very factual. Thing is, other people on the course actually shared my opinion but left positive feedback - what's the point in that?

scratchandsniff Wed 04-Feb-15 11:52:02

Silly cow must be pondering the issue a lot as she must come across plenty of females everyday who shock horror wear 'heels and makeup'!

What a stupid comment to make.

TendonQueen Wed 04-Feb-15 11:57:54

People write all sorts of crap on feedback sheets. I have seen comments about not liking the biscuits provided, plus that the event didn't give someone time to get home and make their husband's dinner hmm (it was shorter than the normal working day too). Ignore it

Also, neo-feminism? I think someone's getting confused.

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