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To tell you how I foiled one of those spready out men on the bus earlier?

(257 Posts)
DaygloYellowLady Tue 03-Feb-15 14:38:32

I'm really quite pleased with myself and it was dead easy. I just sat slightly diagonally but still within the boundaries of my seat so when he started attempting to spread out his legs to air his bollocks he ended up with my bony knee stuck in his thigh with very little discomfort or contact to me. Then, when he moved his leg away I quite subtly stretched my legs ever so slightly into his space, I know this made me
just as bad as him but after years of being squashed into the window, thigh to thigh with a strange man it felt so sooo good. The best part was the slightly bewildered looks he kept throwing me as we trundled along, like that just wasn't the way things should have turned out. grin

LadyLuck10 Tue 03-Feb-15 14:50:02

Do you feel proud

Wibblypiglikesbananas Tue 03-Feb-15 14:51:28

A small victory for womankind! Good work OP!

ScotsWhaHae Tue 03-Feb-15 14:53:53


It's such an arrogant position to assume.

NotTheFarmersWife Tue 03-Feb-15 14:55:34

Well done. I love the mental image of the sad and bewildered glances grin

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 03-Feb-15 14:56:02

Patent this NOW. Today the leg space, tomorrow the armrest. Bwahahahaha.

MrsWolowitz Tue 03-Feb-15 14:56:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Behindthepaintedgarden Tue 03-Feb-15 14:56:10

Good for you. I think men have been getting away with this for so long they don't even realise how annoying it is for the female squashed on the seat beside them.

gaggiagirl Tue 03-Feb-15 14:57:39

Good on you!
A man who presumably had balls the size of watermelons sat next to my DP at the cinema. Poor dp ended up with his knees tightly together across my leg space. I really wanted to say something....but what?

ScotsWhaHae Tue 03-Feb-15 15:01:03

Why didn't your dp say anything?

Quangle Tue 03-Feb-15 15:04:48

I do a strategic placement of my ginormous handbag on my knees. My knees are in my space and my handbag is in my space but since the man is also in my space, he ends up with a bit of my handbag on his knee. It turns out handbags are like Kryptonite to men like this.

I use my ginormo-handbag to repel male space-stealers and it's like having a superpower grin

crazypenguin Tue 03-Feb-15 15:05:45

I've got a heavy bag and a big bum.
Watermelon ballsack men get squashed if they try that shit with me... grin
(Backfired once when drunk, heavy bag was wielded correctly, big bum made fast contact with armrest. Result, bruised bum...)

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Tue 03-Feb-15 15:08:14

I usually say the first thing that comes to mind. Like - "You're in my space, could you budge out of it please?" or something similar. It can be pointed out nicely. Sometimes people don't realise what they're doing.

On an EasyJet flight to Cyprus once, the man next to me fell asleep on my shoulder. As he was incredibly polite and hadn't done it intentionally, I let him sleep on. If he had been a rude spready-out man, I would have woken him up and asked him to move, however.

gaggiagirl Tue 03-Feb-15 15:13:49

scots I think it was because watermelon balls was built like a brick shit house. DP kept telling me to just leave it but I was furious. I with I had swapped places with dp and used the giant handbag technique now.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 03-Feb-15 15:16:21

Good on you grin

DaygloYellowLady Tue 03-Feb-15 15:32:04

Thank you, thank you, I feel I've made a tiny wee step forward for woman and smaller man kind smile
Notthefarmer- have you ever seen when kittens go to sleep in a big dog's bed and the dog doesn't know what to do about, that was the face he had on.
Evans - I don't mind that at all, it's happened a few times to me on the way home from night shift and its . quite sweet.
MrsW- you are right, I completely lost the moral high ground by stretching out, it was pure devilment but it was irresistible.

JudgeJudyKicksAss Tue 03-Feb-15 15:34:11

Are you sure the bewildered looks weren't concern that at any moment you may make a pass at him? you were making bodily contact (shocked gasp!)grin

Gruntfuttock Tue 03-Feb-15 15:38:18

"Are you sure the bewildered looks weren't concern that at any moment you may make a pass at him?."

That's what I thought. He probably thought you were overly touchy-feely by pressing your leg more and more into his.

DaygloYellowLady Tue 03-Feb-15 15:41:02

Judy - cripes I didn't think of that. Mind you, he was making contact with me, he had to move over the line to touch my knee.

expatinscotland Tue 03-Feb-15 15:44:41

I once said, 'I know your balls are nowhere near as big as my arse and my arse needs all my seat, so you need to try to confine your bollocks to yours.'

The whole bus fell out laughing.

squoosh Tue 03-Feb-15 15:48:40

'I know your balls are nowhere near as big as my arse and my arse needs all my seat, so you need to try to confine your bollocks to yours.'

That needs to be turned into a sign that will then be liberally plastered over all buses, subways and trains.

MadeMan Tue 03-Feb-15 15:55:24

They should make the seats bigger on public transport in the first place; same with car parking spaces, they are too small.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 03-Feb-15 15:57:26

'Spready out men ' - brilliant turn of phrase and good solution.

exepat - you really said that? Kudos, your metaphorical balls are clearly sizeable! grin

ScotsWhaHae Tue 03-Feb-15 15:59:02

The seats are fine. Most people's arses fit. It's arrogant men spreading their kegs in an attempt to claim as much space as possible that are the problem. It's a dominating behaviour, designed to shoe how their entitlement to space is more important than yours.

ScotsWhaHae Tue 03-Feb-15 16:00:35

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