Am I the only farmers wife who is sick to death of hoovering up straw, hay, silage and other varieties of animal fodder?

[Disgruntledfarmerswife]

Kind of light hearted and I know that bringing the outdoors indoors comes with the territory of being a farmer's wife but fucking seriously!?

I hoovered this morning, tidied round, lit the fire, got DD up dressed and fed etc. DH walks in, shitty wellies chucked off just inside the front door caking my best boots in cow shite, hay and straw. Walks into living room does the Macarena to rid himself of any excess hay & straw he may have collected whilst he was worzel gummaging it, tramples his way up the stairs. Takes his shitty clothes off and leaves them on the landing in a nice heap (next to the empty laundry basket ) jumps into a nice warm bath. Shaves his 2 week old stubble off whilst in the bath, gets out of the bath, pulls the plug, doesn't bother to rinse any of his grotty face pubes or tide mark away.

Dries himself and then puts the wet towel that he has used to dry his arse with on MY pillow on my side of the bed. My day off is sorted! Didn't want to do anything nice anyway

[Eve]

cant you run him over with a tractor or make him live in the hay shed?

[Disgruntledfarmerswife]

I wish sometimes lol

[desertmum]

not a farmers wife but you have made me laugh - we have horses and dogs and the house and cars are constantly full of muddy wellies, riding boots and straw, leads, poo bags. No sooner have I cleaned the house than dogs and muddy boots clomp across my kitchen floor. No words of wisdom just sympathy and

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Its not because you're a farmers wife,its because you're a lazy sods wife,and you're letting him get away with it.
He's treating you like a maid.
I suggest layers pellets in his coffee,and grass seeds in his pants drawer.

[BarbarianMum]

This. I have an outdoorsy job and have been a zoo keeper in the past (think hay, straw and rhino shit). I don't trample mud all over my own floors because I'd be the fool clearing it up.

[sparechange]

Farmers daughter rather than wife, but can you have a 'decontamination zone' near the (back?) door?
We had a 'no wellies or boilersuits past this point' rule

[Disgruntledfarmerswife]

I've tried that. I think we could do with a porch as the door that we use opens straight into the kitchen. We have wooden floors in there but they are so grotty and horrible due to all of the mud etc that gets trampled in.

I try setting these house rules and feel as though I'm going to bust a gut. It is just laziness! Things like using a tea towel to dry his hands and instead of hanging it back on the hook he just chucks it over the clean pots hat are in the rack.

I know that it will never be immaculate or anywhere near but it would be nice to walk through the living room without tripping over kids toys, clothes etc. it would be nice to stop having my mum whinging at me because the house is a mess and I can't have a child living in conditions like that. I just seem to struggle and any motivation is flawed because the realist in me is just saying "what's the point, it'll be exactly the same tomorrow and you'll just have to do it over again"

I know being on here isn't helping but FGS it's my day off!!

[liquidstateisonthemulled]

Farmers wife here. He comes in the side entrance and everything gets done in the utility room and he hoovers. Teatowels go on the floor when used. I only ever use clean ones.

Your child will not suffer from a bit of muck, wear earplugs next time your mum starts grumbling.

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

I am a farmers wife. He's just a lazy arse.
You need to come down on this like a ten ton sack of shit. Wellies/leggings/coats are kept OUTside. Do you have a shed with a sink? If so he needs to have a preliminary hand wash before coming in.

If you can, get your mum round and give the place a deep clean. Take pictures and have a 'this is how it stays' talk.
Impress upon him the fact that by treating the house with such a lack of respect, he is treating YOU with a lack of respect.

You really need to be strict about it. My DH used to be terrible because his mother was happy to slave after them all, but I'm not.

Set clear boundaries of what is acceptable. It's nothing to do with being a farmer, and everything to do with being lazy

Good luck!

[ScotsWhaHae]

Please can we stop defining ourselves by our husband's job?

I don't refer to myself as a carpenters wife, no more than he introduces himself as a community learning and development coordinators husband.

[TedAndLola]

Wife of a farmer here. My car floor in front of the passenger seat (husband doesn't drive) is a disgrace. Felt embarrassed presenting it for its MOT this morning.

[GrandadGrumps]

Scots in my experience being a 'farmer's wife' is often very much a full-time job in its own right. Being a 'carpenter's wife' presumably isn't.

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

Please can we stop defining ourselves by our husband's job?

Oh please. Here -

[ScotsWhaHae]

Care to elaborate?

[emmelinelucas]

Marrying a farmer means you marry into a way of life.

When I had seen to the pigs and cows (cows more pets than anything useful) I took my clothes off in the hallway, ran upstairs to get washed and my mum put the clothes in a binliner to be shaken and then washed.
It was a constant battle to keep muck out of the house.
YANBU.

[ScotsWhaHae]

Doesn't mean you cease to exist in your own right!

[Peanut15]

Not the only one but what really gets me down is the washing. 2 under 2 and a farming dh (and me) and I do at least 2 loads a day.

My mil hAs a lot to answer for. I'm determined my 2 yr old will be better and I'm teaching my dh at the same time. It embarrasses him into action when the 2 yr old can fill the dishwasher better than him.

[GrandadGrumps]

It's not a matter of ceasing to exist, it's becoming a 'female partner in a farming family' - or 'farmer's wife' as it's commonly known. It's more than a way of life, the life of the household is usually intertwined with the business.

[ScotsWhaHae]

I'm well aware of the dynamics, thanks. I'm of farming stock myself.

[WestEast]

I wanted to be a farmers wife when I was little. In my 8 year old head I would galivant in a field with my huge flock of sheep and make copious amounts of jam with my gaggle of children. I suspect I may have let my imagination run away with me

[Dontstepinthecowpat]

My DH wouldn't dare step over the contamination line of the utility room.

A few of our friends DC have had E-coli. This is enough for us never to bring farming muck into the house. DDog gets decontaminated in there as well and I have a washing machine for normal clothes and one for clothes worn on the farm.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

I'm with Scots here.

[Idontseeanysontarans]

I married into a farming family. My MIL would rip strips off FIL if he brought muck into their house as would I if DH did that when he goes up helping.

[mortil2]

do we really need to get into whether is 'farmers wife' or 'wife of a farmer'? This was meant to be a lighthearted thread.

[womaninthewildsofwales]

2 washing machines- the old one in the dairy washes farm stuff- nothing that has come in the vicinity of any livestock gets into the house until it's been through that first. No wellies inside, I bribe everyone with lovely sheepskin slippers kept in the utility room- they wear only these inside and all grubby clothes come off there- I also keep the utility at a very warm temperature so that stripping off is more appealing . Oh and no working dogs in the house... Ever!

Go and smear cow shit all I've his tractor interior- that's how I taught DP to respect my house: I've never known a farmer who doesn't value their tractor more than their farmhouse and DP went nuts... But after he'd calmed down he understood

I think it helps that I was brought up during the foot and mouth outbreak and disinfecting was just part of life so I have set tough rules about the cleanliness of my farmhouse and he now complies!

Being a farmer's wife is a job in itself- agriculture can be a lonely and sometimes thankless job for all and there are times of the year that DP and I don't speak really for weeks (lambing, royal welsh show prep etc). Chin up, keep going, think of the coming seasons; lambs, calves... Warm weather!