Advanced search

AIBU to wonder why school mums are so inconsistent?

(146 Posts)
Lazaretto Sun 01-Feb-15 19:07:53

One morning they acknowledge you, the next morning they blank you? Anyone else notice this? Kind of dumbfounded by it. In most walks of life, once you become acquainted, it's common decency to at least acknowledge each other when you see each other? Am I missing something?

Campaspe Sun 01-Feb-15 19:09:38

Not sure without knowing a bit more about your situation tbh. I think you are generalising too much. Some people can be moody and unfriendly, but I don't think school mums are more likely to be so than any other random group of people forced together.

cailindana Sun 01-Feb-15 19:12:05

Because it's early morning and they're tired and stressed?

CaptainAnkles Sun 01-Feb-15 19:13:38

I know what you mean, but in my experience people can be half asleep still in the mornings, or might be thinking about talking to their child's teacher, or be looking out for someone in particular they need to speak to, or might not have seen you, etc etc. I'm on good terms with a couple of mums and we don't always talk to each other. Don't take it personally.

Guitargirl Sun 01-Feb-15 19:14:16

There are some mornings when I probably come across in a more friendly mood than others. Some days I am working from home and can take my time to chat, there are other days when I am in a rush to get to a meeting, some days I am trying to make sure the DCs have all the bits and pieces they need for the day and others when I just have a lot on my mind and making small talk is not one of them. It's really not about intentionally blanking anyone, it's about wanting to get on with the rest of the day.

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 01-Feb-15 19:15:26

Its because they're hormonal and cliquey.
Women are like that, especially when they're mothers. The sahms are the worst of course. The wohms are more balanced

SaucyJack Sun 01-Feb-15 19:16:21

From my own perspective of being a miserable bitch, sometimes it's nice to have a bit of a chat with someone but that doesn't mean I can be arsed to make small talk every single bloody day,

Campaspe Sun 01-Feb-15 19:16:55

RealAmandaClarke - and no generalising going on in this post??? angry Your post is pretty offensive actually.

ChangingItUp Sun 01-Feb-15 19:17:47

I know lots of parents at dc's school. Drop off takes 5 mins, so there's just no time to acknowledge each and every one of them. I'll maybe speak to one or two in that time.

MrsHathaway Sun 01-Feb-15 19:18:32

You are assuming they have indeed seen you. The morning, once you've dropped them, is prime socialising time for SAHPs especially if, like me, they are putting off going home to eleventy loads of washing but in the afternoon there's the panic of spotting them, sending them back in for the inevitably-forgotten jumper/coat/water bottle, dashing off to Brownies/gymnastics/piano lesson or before it rains (Biblically, yet again, within two minutes of pick-up).

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes Sun 01-Feb-15 19:19:04

Never noticed that at my DCs school, it tends to be exactly the same as in any other part of my life. I suppose they might not see you if they are talking to someone else as you pass, but that's normal in life generally too.

Guitargirl Sun 01-Feb-15 19:19:51

Campaspe - I think Amanda was being sarcastic.

Lazaretto Sun 01-Feb-15 19:21:07

Sorry, I realise my post is guilty of generalising. It's just I hear the same from friends I have at other schools so just wondered what others experiences are. I get that people are busy, tired etc. I suppose I just view it as courtesy, the same way you are polite in a work environment. After all, the children will be together in school for quite a while!

MrsHathaway Sun 01-Feb-15 19:21:26

Bollocks, misread. Point stands, though: too many other things to think about.

I think Amanda was parodying the usual argument, not venturing it.

AimlesslyPurposeful Sun 01-Feb-15 19:21:35

I think you're going to have to be the one to initiate the "Hellos".

I have found that just a smile often gets no response but a cheery hello always gets a reply.

I suppose it gets a bit tiresome saying hello to the same thirty or so parents every morning and afternoon so that's why some keep their heads down. Or they could be in a hurry and are worried that an acknowledgement could turn into a conversation.

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 01-Feb-15 19:21:47

Sorry. I was being sarcastic.

purplemunkey Sun 01-Feb-15 19:22:09

Yep, I got sarcasm from Amanda's post too.

Sparklingbrook Sun 01-Feb-15 19:23:34

I think it depends on the day. When I used to do the school gate stuff, some days I was stressed/in a hurry and didn't have time. That said I did manage a hello to anyone who caught my eye.

Hometime was generally more relaxed and people would chat more.

I haven't done school gates for 4 years. i kind of miss it a bit.

Campaspe Sun 01-Feb-15 19:23:43

Sorry AmandaClarke. I misread totally. Have a wine on me.

Lazaretto Sun 01-Feb-15 19:24:28

By the way, I'm not assuming they have seen me. They have seen me smile I just wondered really as I have never come across it before.

ChippingInLatteLover Sun 01-Feb-15 19:25:22

Laz. I could have written your post, but it's pick up time I think is the worst. I just smile and say 'Hi' now, they can chat or ignore me, up to them. I've given up trying to work it out.

TheRealAmandaClarke Sun 01-Feb-15 19:25:29

Thanks. But no apology required.

MrsTawdry Sun 01-Feb-15 19:26:23

I chat to someone one day and the next I might be looking for someone else to talk about something specific....or I might just not want to chat that day.

AliceinWinterWonderland Sun 01-Feb-15 19:26:37

I have a number of people I have with regularly at school runs, however, it's an "if we see each other" thing. I have two dcs, one disabled, one with SNs, and honestly some mornings it's all I can do to herd them in to school or out to the car without meltdowns from one of them. My friends know that if I don't greet them and say a quick hello that either 1-I didn't see them or 2-I have my hands completely full right now and unfortunately cannot stop to chat. I don't do the blanking thing - it's childish tbh.

I also don't get worked up if they don't greet me - often they're dealing with stuff as well, or in a hurry, or in the crush of people going all over the school grounds, they simply didn't see me. <shrug>

Lazaretto Sun 01-Feb-15 19:27:12

Chipping, I agree. I always go in with a blank slate smile smile and say hi. I think I'll give up too. To be honest it didn't bother me at first as I didn't know them that well but it's been 6 months nearly! Oh well.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: