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To think it's not ok for married man

(231 Posts)
changeclothesss Thu 29-Jan-15 00:10:31

To go round to female colleagues house to 'help her with her tax return' and stay for dinner?

Greysanderson Thu 29-Jan-15 00:14:28

Well if that is what he is really doing what's wrong with it.

HopelessFancyFeigned Thu 29-Jan-15 00:14:51

Why is it not ok?

Primafacie Thu 29-Jan-15 00:15:57


ilovesooty Thu 29-Jan-15 00:16:01

If that's what he's doing I don't see a problem. Presumably since you put it in inverted commas you don't think that's what they're doing.

Summerisle1 Thu 29-Jan-15 00:16:47

Provided that the married man in question has merely helped with a tax return and then stayed on to have dinner I don't see what the problem is.

Only1scoop Thu 29-Jan-15 00:17:10

So you don't think there was any 'tax return' being returned confused

FightOrFlight Thu 29-Jan-15 00:17:23

So you think your husband is shagging her? Guess there must be a few cracks in your relationship already if you suspect anything other than what he says they are doing.

LittleBearPad Thu 29-Jan-15 00:18:00

Eh? Is helping with a tax return a euphemism.

Finola1step Thu 29-Jan-15 00:20:13

Is the colleague in question self employed? A freelancer?

Finola1step Thu 29-Jan-15 00:21:15

Oh and is your dh experienced in filling in tax returns for himself or others?

NeedsAsockamnesty Thu 29-Jan-15 00:21:43

Of course that's fine.

Most men married or not are perfectly capable of being in a woman's company without behaving badly

OvertiredandConfused Thu 29-Jan-15 00:24:09

My DH has actually done something very similar - legal form rather than a tax return - never occurred to me that I should mind!

hoobypickypicky Thu 29-Jan-15 00:24:33

No, it's not ok. It's not ok in the least.

Married men should go out to work, finish at 5 and be home ready to co-join with their wives by 6. They should be branded with a property number too, lest anyone forgets that they belong to someone. Any married man caught helping out a woman who is not his wife should be horsewhipped. Eating with a woman to whom a man is not married should result in immediate beheading.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Thu 29-Jan-15 00:25:01

God! I'm glad not everyone has this attitude or I'd be screwed! The number of times friends partners have helped me with my car is numerable!

Although I would never cook for them as it would probably be their last meal.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 29-Jan-15 00:27:32

If he's sorted her tax return dinner is the least she can do.

I have no idea what marital status has to do with anything or why "help her with her tax return" is in inverted commas.

wheresthelight Thu 29-Jan-15 00:28:14

unless there is a massive backstory then Yabvu.

men and women can be friends without it meaning sex you know

softlysoftly Thu 29-Jan-15 00:28:48

No, clearly he's fiddling with her bottom line.

YellowTulips Thu 29-Jan-15 00:34:27

Give the bugger his P45 and tell him to watch his P&L in future or both his cash flow and bottom line will suffer to the point of physical and emotional bankruptcy wink

Seriously - sounds to me like a nice gesture in lieu of a favour tbh unless there's more backstory here.

Being friends with someone while you're married is fine, as is doing them favours, sharing meals; going outside the agreed bounds of the relationship is not, for instance having sex with someone when you've agreed to be monogamous. M.U.S.T. R.E.S.I.S.T saying "Simples!"


What makes you ask this question, with this set of circumstances?

changeclothesss Thu 29-Jan-15 00:39:55

They are both technically freelance so there is a tax return to do but he's not an expert has just done his own.

There isn't much of a back story other than I get the feeling they're a bit too close. I don't think he's doing anything and do trust him but don't really like the idea of them spending the evening alone at her house then having a cosy dinner when they could do it during the day

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 29-Jan-15 00:43:12

All sounds fine until you say you feel "they're too close".

Unless you have form for irrational green eyed monster behaviour, your feelings are there for a reason - a spidey sense if you like. I wouldn't like dh getting 'too close' to another woman - friends is fine, tax return and dinner in return is fine, "too close" is not.

babbinocaro Thu 29-Jan-15 01:22:44

Tricky isn't it. Have you met her?Might help to see things more clearly. I no longer trust my OH with female "friends"... wish I could have.

30somethingm Thu 29-Jan-15 01:27:52

I am a single man aged 30. I have lots of female friends and colleagues. I would be horrified if me spending time with them resulted in this sort of response from a hypothetical partner!

GrinAndTonic Thu 29-Jan-15 01:29:32

Nothing wrong with that.
Unless he has a history of lodging his return where he shouldn't.

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