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Ds wants to spend the night at his girlfriend's.

(27 Posts)
loopylou6 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:29:46

On his 16th Birthday.
They are already having sex hmm ( he is comfortable talking to me about this stuff, we're very close ) they are being sensible, her mum knows, but it just doesn't sit right with me.

wwyd?

usualsuspect333 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:31:21

If his GFs mum is ok with it, I would probably let him.

SaucyJack Wed 28-Jan-15 19:31:26

Seems fine to me smile

What is it you're worried about?

fluffyraggies Wed 28-Jan-15 19:31:34

How old is she? And where are they already having sex?

Chilicosrenegade Wed 28-Jan-15 19:33:43

Her mum approves. I'd suggest just actually checking with her unless you know that's accurate.

Otherwise I don't get your issue. But late to get prim which is kind of how its reading...? confused

loopylou6 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:41:51

She's 16, yes I will be checking with the mother, they're having sex at her house.
Yeah, I know it's a bit late to get ' prim' but I'm worried about pregnancy etc, he uses protection, she's on the pill, hes informed me he's read her pill leaflet and is aware of antibiotics making the pill unable to work...
I sort of know I'd be a bit U to say no, but, for some reason, it just makes me uncomfortable confused

invisiblecrown Wed 28-Jan-15 19:42:59

Providing you speak to Mum, I'd let him go.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 28-Jan-15 19:44:01

I'd let him go. They will have sex anyway, and better a safe place

Rosieliveson Wed 28-Jan-15 19:44:35

If having them there makes you uncomfortable could they stay at yours?

loopylou6 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:44:37

I sound a right weirdo don't I grin
I'm also worried about him thinking I'm a hypocrite. Dh and I have been together since we where 14 and 15, and ds was born when I was 16, I just don't want that for him though

phoenixrose314 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:46:10

It sounds like you're uncomfortable with him having sex, not with staying over at his girlfriend's house - maybe examine your own feelings about him growing up and needing you less?

Well done on having such a loving and open relationship with him, you are very lucky, and he sounds like a responsible young man who is taking sex seriously and thoughtfully. The thing with teenagers is, they're going to "do it" - and I'd rather it be somewhere I knew, and knew my child was safe, than in some public toilet somewhere.

Just my two cents!

fluffyraggies Wed 28-Jan-15 19:46:34

If they're already having sex at her house then you may as well let him stay there on his birthday. They seem to be doing the right things - pill, condoms etc.

I would definitely have a quick word with her mum, just to be sure she is actually on the pill.

You wont stop them now OP, so the best thing is to go with it, and be approachable. Otherwise you'll be kept out of the loop.

Jackieharris Wed 28-Jan-15 19:47:04

Just let him.

There's nothing to gain from not.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Wed 28-Jan-15 19:48:31

If they're already having sex then him sleeping there isn't going to make a blind bit of difference smile. It's great he trusts you enough to talk to you about these things.

loopylou6 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:49:45

Thank you everyone, and thanks Phoenix
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head

Letmeeatcakecakecake Wed 28-Jan-15 19:50:05

I second what Phoenix has said about well done on your close relationship.

You're aware of what's going on in your sons sex life and he feels comfortable enough to tell you which is amazing.

Let him stay at his girlfriends place, provided her mother is fine with it. Discreetly make sure there's always a supply of condoms that he can dig into without embarrassment (ie bathroom drawer with lots in them, enough that you wouldn't notice the odd few go missing) and let him get on with it.

Congratulations, it sounds like you've raised a very sensible young man x

FightOrFlight Wed 28-Jan-15 19:53:32

Ironic that on the day he's finally doing it legally you're not sure about it!

loopylou6 Wed 28-Jan-15 19:54:47

smile Thank you

BreakfastAtStephanies Wed 28-Jan-15 20:01:20

The way I'm reading it, the GF is having sex with minor if he is not yet 16 therefore underage ? She is committing an offence , surely. Not sure how you stop them though !

FightOrFlight Wed 28-Jan-15 20:45:52

Breakfast She's 16, not 36. There's probably only a few months difference in age. A bit heavy handed to say she's committing an offence - nobody would arrest her for this relationship.

Loopy My comment was supposed to be lighthearted, not judgey. They both sound like they have been responsible re: contraception.

BreakfastAtStephanies Wed 28-Jan-15 20:58:48

Oh yes I know FightOr I didn't really mean it seriously. I realise that the young ones are all doing it, so to speak. I am hopeless about it all, having been a late starter myself smile

missingmumxox Thu 29-Jan-15 01:20:40

Actually the underage thing should be taken seriously my nephew is 22 now but when he was 15 he took a film o his phone of him and his 16 year old girlfriend having sex, only 3 months apart in age, he showed his friends, story goes after he showed it, he went to the loo or something and they forwarded it from his phone to all their friends.
3 days later his headteacher has contacted the police as the images are all round the school and they are both questioned, she is the one in trouble told she will be on the sex offenders register, fortunately common sense finally prevailed but only after months of waiting and questioning, and Paedophile accusations to her, horrible for both of them.

missingmumxox Thu 29-Jan-15 01:30:58

Btw I don't believe his friends forwarding it story I think he did it in a moment of Bravo not realising it would be forewarded by others then others

phoenixrose314 Thu 29-Jan-15 06:03:48

Np OP. I will be exactly the same when my DS is all growed up. flowers

KarmaViolet Thu 29-Jan-15 08:06:22

I'd let him but sit him down and explain exactly how hard it is raising a child. It's not hypocrisy to want your son to wait a bit for children, it's advice based on experience!

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