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to start bringing really loud food into work?

(24 Posts)
bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:11:38

One of my colleagues eats at his desk at lunch and is the noisiest eater ever! Scraping on plates, clinking forks/spoons against his teeth, chewing noises, lip smacking noises, swallowing noises ARRRRRGHHHHH!!

Today, I had to work a bit later than usual and I got a packet of crisps from the vending machine to keep me going and he gave me 'a look' while I was eating them. I am tempted to start bringing in noisy foods to snack on during the day. Suggestions welcome! smile

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:12:27

Obviously I know that the foods themselves are not loud/noisy before the pedants jump on me!

EatShitDerek Wed 28-Jan-15 18:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantanaLopez Wed 28-Jan-15 18:13:47

I recommend Poppets.

Would you be looked down upon for indulging in a spot of cocktail mixing? You could fling that around loudly AND have a cocktail!

TheRealMaryMillington Wed 28-Jan-15 18:14:32

For that reason alone I think eating at desks should be banned.

Let alone the stink of cup-a-soups and their contemporary equivalent, the innocent veg pot.

Revolting

Start a petition

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:15:04

Oh Derek, I wish I could. I think I may be trying to provoke a reaction from him so I can say - now you know how it bloody feels!!!!

EatShitDerek Wed 28-Jan-15 18:16:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

opalsandsilver Wed 28-Jan-15 18:17:19

Celery. Crisp apples. Kettle chips. Popcorn. Square crisps. Nommed enthusiastically.

TalcAndTurnips Wed 28-Jan-15 18:17:52

Don't try and outdo him on noise.

Go for smell. Hard-boiled egg curry with boiled Bratwurst. Some malodorous variety of Pot Noodle.

When passers-by stick their heads in to find the source of the savoury volcano, point to him and say he started it.

.','.
confused

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:18:09

I'm usually quite a healthy eater so I was thinking apples, carrot sticks, maybe nuts? I do feel bad for the other people around me though. I don't want to be pissing them off as well. I'm sure he must annoy them too - it can't just be me who hears him!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Wed 28-Jan-15 18:19:26

I think you should change things up a bit - noisy foods one day, stinky foods another, with the odd day of entirely silent, nose-friendly foods, just to throw him off. And some days where your lunch is stinky and noisy!

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:19:30

grin I love the water gun idea!

Smelly foods sound good too. To be fair, his food usually smells quite nice. It just sounds awful!

ephemeralfairy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:21:15

Camembert sandwiches. They smell like rotting feet.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Wed 28-Jan-15 18:21:44

Record the sound of him eating (you might need to ask him if he wants to take part in a little experiment and get a permission of sorts) and then replay it the next morning while he's working quietly? Then delete it. Quickly. Or is that illegal?

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:24:34

ephemeral - yes, it does! I hate the bloody stuff. I bought some for FIL and it stank out my fridge over Christmas!

Maybe I should just work on my 'look'. It's the fact that I can hear his teeth hitting against each other that gets to me. Even when he's eating yoghurt - what the hell is he chewing in yoghurt? Babies with no teeth can swallow it straight - what the hell are you chewing it for?

MisForMumNotMaid Wed 28-Jan-15 18:30:12

My husband has lost a part of the hearing frequency and is a noisy eater/ drinker. He can't hear himself.

He eats ice cream and yogurt like he's swooshing his mouth with mouth wash. I have pointed it out, as gently as possible and he does try not to but sometimes he forgets because he just can't hear himself.

pluCaChange Wed 28-Jan-15 18:36:41

So, he can "dish" it, be he can't take it? hmm

I love the recording idea.

FightOrFlight Wed 28-Jan-15 18:39:46

Email him this link

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8337522/Man-shot-dead-for-eating-popcorn-too-loudly-during-Black-Swan.html

As you see him open the email, make a gun shape with your hand/fingers and say "BOOM!"

Selks Wed 28-Jan-15 18:42:29

Bloody hell, let the poor guy eat in peace. Yes the noise is a little irritating but so what. There are more important things to waste brain power over.

FWIW, we don't have a kitchen / eating area at work, so we HAVE to eat at our desks, much as we dislike doing so.

SummerHouse Wed 28-Jan-15 18:43:25

Smell - tinned mackerel (i know this from bitter experience with my colleague)
Noise - pork crackling

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:43:46

grin Fight

I don't think he has any hearing problems Mis. My crisps were obviously disturbing him. How very dare I!

bumbleymummy Wed 28-Jan-15 18:45:08

Selks, I'd quite like to be able to work in peace. We do have an eating area but other people do occasionally eat at their desks and they manage it quietly.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Wed 28-Jan-15 18:45:16

grin fight, that was very funny.

FannyFanakapan Wed 28-Jan-15 18:48:27

fight grin thats too funny!

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